38 and Single :o(

sofarbehind

* Elbows her way ruthlessly to the front of the queue and declares willingness to relocate *

AlwaysWorking

neatheyc wrote: »

Can't really afford Match.com or Zoosk and not even sure they would be any better.

My fiance joined Match.com and emailed me on his first day. We get married in 150 days. :smileyhea
So it can work...and you don't necessarily have to spend a lot of money (from memory they sometimes do free trials).

Good luck!!!

FBaby

I'm not in the queue, but wanted to say that you still got plenty of hope. I met the love of my life at 38 through a dating site 6 years ago and it is hard to look back and think there was a time he wasn't in my life.

What are your issues? Actually getting dates (seems unlikely), getting the girls to want to go on a second one (seems again surprising that would be the case), you wanting to see them again (if that is the case, why is this and are you giving them a chance), or meeting them again, but somehow not feeling that any are doing much for you, in that case, you either need to lower your standards of what you're looking for, or you need to keep trying.

I decided to go for the keep looking rather than lowering standards. It means waiting 4 years to find him, but the wait was so worth it, I'd wait double again!

It's amazing once you meet that special person and things become serious to remember a time when you felt this would never happen, let alone so soon. Keep faith.

tea_lover

sofarbehind wrote: »

* Elbows her way ruthlessly to the front of the queue and declares willingness to relocate *

Back of the queue lady!

VestanPance

Actually 38 is pretty old for a guy to start looking for someone to start a family.

Taking in that he needs to meet someone, get to know them and develop the relationship enough to be sure that is the person they want to have children with. Best case senario is probably around what age 40 by the time he's ready to start trying, 41 by the time the baby drops. That would make him 59 by the time the child is entering higher education. He'd almost be a pensioner by the time they graduate!

I think by any definition that's getting on a bit.

tea_lover

Wow, that's helpful.

benb76

VestanPance wrote: »

Actually 38 is pretty old for a guy to start looking for someone to start a family.

Taking in that he needs to meet someone, get to know them and develop the relationship enough to be sure that is the person they want to have children with. Best case senario is probably around what age 40 by the time he's ready to start trying, 41 by the time the baby drops. That would make him 59 by the time the child is entering higher education. He'd almost be a pensioner by the time they graduate!

I think by any definition that's getting on a bit.

You are correct, to an extent. However, people are living longer these days, so the fact that a dad may be in his early 60s when his kids graduate is not really a major issue; the chances are that he'll have a good 20+ years ahead of him.

Different issues for women though. Despite the advances of fertilisation treatments, women in their late 30s and 40s are not very fertile. The stories you hear about 40 something women having success with IVF tend to be the exceptions that you hear about, not the rule.

Delree

Mate, I'm about to turn 36 and in exactly the same boat. Spent the past year getting messed around something rotten and really feel the time rushing past.
However, it is what it is. I indulge my hobbies and have spent the past few months doing positive things, I've given up smoking, stopped drinking and taken up running. I try and do something, or go somewhere new each weekend to spice things up a little.
None of it fully compensates for being lonely I appreciate but I've got no takers so I try to control what I can control.

VestanPance

benb76 wrote: »

You are correct, to an extent. However, people are living longer these days, so the fact that a dad may be in his early 60s when his kids graduate is not really a major issue; the chances are that he'll have a good 20+ years ahead of him.

Different issues for women though. Despite the advances of fertilisation treatments, women in their late 30s and 40s are not very fertile. The stories you hear about 40 something women having success with IVF tend to be the exceptions that you hear about, not the rule.

I agree. Although while men can father children in their 40's and beyond. I think the impact of that decision is often not taken into account.

The guys can just churn out babies at any age line ignores the health issues many will face as they age. They may not have the reproduction biological issues women will face, but fathering later in life can provide other challenges.

That said the young gentleman who started the topic appears to have a queue forming!

lostinrates

VestanPance wrote: »

I agree. Although while men can father children in their 40's and beyond. I think the impact of that decision is often not taken into account.

The guys can just churn out babies at any age line ignores the health issues many will face as they age. They may not have the reproduction biological issues women will face, but fathering later in life can provide other challenges.

That said the young gentleman who started the topic appears to have a queue forming!

It does, and while its not something I would have chosen, both my husband's parents and mine did. Some one else in my family was a first time father in his sixties.