Why Are Young People Encouraged NOT to Label Anyone?

Loz01

Skinto_7 wrote: »

Im confused about this labelling thing, and what people actually mean, are people saying that describing someone as a man or woman, white or black, gay or straight is labelling someone?

I was recently talking about a mate of mine to someone else, and they couldnt remember which one of my mates i was meaning, so i said, "its Dan, hes the big tall guy, with blonde hair and slightly camp" is that labelling?

If it is i would have no issues with kids labelling people, i would be more concerned about them bullying and stuff like that!!

I don't think anyone would have an issue with being called a man or woman, same with black or white, to me that's pretty obvious, it is what it is. However being described as "the gay one" could be slightly offensive I imagine lol.

j.e.j.

anotheruser wrote: »

I really don't understand this.

There seems to be a general consensus to encourage kids not to label anyone particularly, but why is this?

A good example is the parents who raised a gener-neutral child so the child "would not be influenced by society's prejudices".

While this is an extreme example, I don't understand why kids are discouraged from labelling someone gay, straight, boy, girl... among other things.

Surely a label is just a term used to describe someone? For instance, if someone has killed someone else, they are a killer... surely?

If we had a cupboard fill of jam jars with no labels, we'd end up having pickled onions on toast.

So I don't understand people who say we shouldn't label people.

Labelling theory is nothing new. We learned about it decades ago in sociology lessons at school.

Descriptive words are fine, but labelling implies some sort of prejudice or unfairness.

Skinto_7

Loz01 wrote: »

I don't think anyone would have an issue with being called a man or woman, same with black or white, to me that's pretty obvious, it is what it is. However being described as "the gay one" could be slightly offensive I imagine lol.

I think thats what i am confused about Loz, i dont get how being described as the gay one, if you are gay, is in anyway offensive, its like a tall person being offended because you described them as the tall one!!

I think too many people are just looking for a reason to be offended nowadays.

kingfisherblue

Loz01 wrote: »

I don't think its that kids shouldn't label people, its that they shouldn't use peoples identities as a reason to bully.

Spot on.


Although to be fair, it seems to be adults that misunderstand one of the labels that my son has. They don't bully him, but they have preconceived ideas, which are incorrect.


My son has Down's Syndrome. It's a label that will follow him through life, and is sometimes the only thing that people see.
Because he has Down's, he must be affectionate and very loving. Well, he can be, but so can my other two children. For the first eight years of his life, my son with DS used to growl at people rather than show loving behaviour towards them (family aside). Now, talking about how loving he must be (in front of him) can encourage him to hug people, as he thinks they love him. He has poor perception of strangers and it is an ongoing struggle to teach him not to hug people he doesn't know. Talking like this actually makes my job as a parent harder.


Because he has Down's, he must have a heart condition. No, he doesn't. Around a third of children with DS have a heart problem. Around a third have abnormalities of the digestive system, but this fact is lesser known. My son was born with major problems in his oesophagus, duodenum and abdomen, but no heart conditions.


Because he has Down's, he should be in a special school. Well, my son managed very well in mainstream primary. I chose special school for him at age 11 because the gap between him and his peers was continually widening, not just academically but also in terms of maturity, interests, and independence.
Because he has Down's, he doesn't need a wheelchair. After all, people with DS can walk. Well, yes, he can walk, but not far and not without pain in his limbs and not without his breathing becoming compromised. adults are by far the worst when he is in his wheelchair - a large number stare at him to the extent that he gets upset. Children are far more likely to ignore the chair, or ask why he is using it (a question I am happy to answer).


There are more problems with adults labelling my child than with children labelling him. He will always have DS and he is proud of it. He is quite happy to tell people 'I Down's', and thinks it is funny when we say that he is 'Ups', Ins and Outs', or 'topsy turvey'.


Down's Syndrome is a label, but a perfectly acceptable one. What is not acceptable is the way people (always adults) tell me what my child 'must have' or 'must' be like. He is an individual , who happens to share a very variable medical condition with others.

Gloomendoom

Skinto_7 wrote: »

I think too many people are just looking for a reason to be offended nowadays.

Or to be offended on someone else's behalf.

lostinrates

Skinto_7 wrote: »

I think thats what i am confused about Loz, i dont get how being described as the gay one, if you are gay, is in anyway offensive, its like a tall person being offended because you described them as the tall one!!

I think too many people are just looking for a reason to be offended nowadays.

The 'gay one' is different because you cannot tell from looking at or some interacting with someone their sexuality. A camp person can be straight, some one you thing of as gay might in fact be bi, poly or pan sexual. Or just feel their sexuality is not appropriate to who they are in being pointed out in the room....when tall, blond and wearing those fabulous blue trousers and a tshirt saying ' I'm gay' would differentiate them enough from everyone else in the room. While the other tall, blond guy in the room might be wondering why no one ever comments on his sexuality. There are more than three sexualities, and while some are loud and proud and ( rightly) feel no shame others ( of all sexualities including the most traditional) are quiet like mice and uncomfortable talking about it as is Their right too!

Sometimes its not about labelling its about tact, discretion and common sense.

geerex

Apparently I'm cis-gendered. No, I'm not. I'm normal. Well, gender wise at least.

I once had a work disability awareness course where the "teacher" said that we should all call ourselves "non-disabled" by default. He couldn't work out why this was offensive.

onomatopoeia99

geerex wrote: »

Apparently I'm cis-gendered.

I got this once. From a trans woman (that's how she defines herself, so I am comfortable using it to define her) who was annoyed at being labelled a transvestite. I was told that being a cisgendered man I didn't suffer from being labelled by society.

I pointed out that she had just stuck a label on me that I didn't accept (once I'd found out what it meant), and that it was a horrible made up word invented by someone that felt the need to stick everyone into boxes and label them.

I absolutely could not get her to see that I was just annoyed about having an unwanted label stuck on me as she was about being called a transvestite.

Fluff15

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

I got this once. From a trans woman (that's how she defines herself, so I am comfortable using it to define her) who was annoyed at being labelled a transvestite. I was told that being a cisgendered man I didn't suffer from being labelled by society.

I pointed out that she had just stuck a label on me that I didn't accept (once I'd found out what it meant), and that it was a horrible made up word invented by someone that felt the need to stick everyone into boxes and label them.

I absolutely could not get her to see that I was just annoyed about having an unwanted label stuck on me as she was about being called a transvestite.

A horrible made up word? It literally means you are not transgender. What is wrong with that? Around every two days a trans person is killed for non-gender conformity. Don't you dare think being labelled cisgender is anywhere near as offensive as the struggle of trans people.

She didn't like being called a transvestite, because people used to perceive the word generally with men who got aroused by dressing as women. Transwomen aren't that, and probably why she doesn't like the term.

j.e.j.

cisgender??

Now I've heard it all :rotfl: