Why Are Young People Encouraged NOT to Label Anyone?

anotheruser

I really don't understand this.

There seems to be a general consensus to encourage kids not to label anyone particularly, but why is this?

A good example is the parents who raised a gener-neutral child so the child "would not be influenced by society's prejudices".

While this is an extreme example, I don't understand why kids are discouraged from labelling someone gay, straight, boy, girl... among other things.

Surely a label is just a term used to describe someone? For instance, if someone has killed someone else, they are a killer... surely?

If we had a cupboard fill of jam jars with no labels, we'd end up having pickled onions on toast.

So I don't understand people who say we shouldn't label people.

Georgiegirl256

Totally agree OP.

I remember reading that article a while back and thinking that those parents are storing up a whole heap of problems for that poor kid. By sending him to school in frilly blouses, they are possibly just opening him up to a whole load of bullying.

There's letting a child develop there own identity, and there's taking it to extremes. The poor lad won't know whether he's coming or going.

They say they are helping him form his own views, I think it'll have the opposite effect.

I do agree in that kids should be able to play with whatever toys they want. Dolls shouldn't automatically be forced onto girls, and the same with cars and boys. Growing up I had a combination of both. I was quite girly but with a tomboy side too. Difference being, that developed naturally, not through being dressed as alternate sexes each day. (Although there are quite a few baby photos of me dressed in blue....:rotfl:)

LilElvis

Because people are more than just a single defining feature? Because certain "labels" have quite unsavoury connotations as they have historically been used as terms of abuse - particularly those referring to a person's colour or sexual orientation.

lostinrates

I think this is a little sad. I had two dolls AND a couple of little cars. I also really liked being a girl, and did not find it limiting. Girls good climb trees, swim, explore, beachcomb, AND wear fancy dress dresses while doing so if they wanted, ( or just a pair of bikini pants). Why are people afraid of owning what they are? We can change and develop over time. Labels don't need to be permanent.

Georgiegirl256

lostinrates wrote: »

I think this is a little sad. I had two dolls AND a couple of little cars. I also really liked being a girl, and did not find it limiting. Girls good climb trees, swim, explore, beachcomb, AND wear fancy dress dresses while doing so if they wanted, ( or just a pair of bikini pants). Why are people afraid of owning what they are? We can change and develop over time. Labels don't need to be permanent.

:T. I agree.

Much to my Mam's dismay, I was one of those girls! Would get dressed up in a pretty dress to go out, and go climbing trees before we went!

browneyedbazzi

LilElvis wrote: »

Because people are more than just a single defining feature? Because certain "labels" have quite unsavoury connotations as they have historically been used as terms of abuse - particularly those referring to a person's colour or sexual orientation.

^^ This!!

Also, when you talk about characteristics that may change over time (like a child misbehaving) applying a label implies a degree of permanence and may be unhelpful to the person being labelled. If you tell your child 'you are a naughty boy' then being naughty is internalised as part of who they are whereas if you say 'what you have done is naughty' that is a behaviour that can change.

Randomjargon

I'm fairly open minded and not a big fan of labelling people without knowing them. One label I'm happy with is gender...I'm a man and my wife is a women. That poor lad is going to get ripped at school. He has a 'Johnson', he is a boy. End of

What he becomes is more than what his gender is...

Fluff15

browneyedbazzi wrote: »

^^ This!!

Also, when you talk about characteristics that may change over time (like a child misbehaving) applying a label implies a degree of permanence and may be unhelpful to the person being labelled. If you tell your child 'you are a naughty boy' then being naughty is internalised as part of who they are whereas if you say 'what you have done is naughty' that is a behaviour that can change.

Exactly - think of negatives such as 'boys don't cry', but boys do cry and it's perfectly normal. Or 'boys will be boys' in order to excuse them from harmful behaviour.

If my daughter wants to play with trucks and worms, that's cool. If my son wants to wear a dress, also fine.

Jagraf

I think labelling is too strong, but having an understanding that everyone is different but equal is a good thing. Without a certain level of "labelling" it is difficult to appreciate people's differences. There is a fine line.

On the other hand, a parent forcing a child to be what their parents to be is an extreme form of labelling.

lostinrates

LilElvis wrote: »

Because people are more than just a single defining feature? Because certain "labels" have quite unsavoury connotations as they have historically been used as terms of abuse - particularly those referring to a person's colour or sexual orientation.

Just because we are one thing or label, doesn't stop us also being others.

As for insults and abuse...prejudice is against what we /they are, not what they call us/them. The words only hold the power we give them. I am a proud reclaimer of some words but do not impose them on others in my conversation because I recognise others do not feel the same.

LilElvis

There have been several posts harking back to members' childhoods and the fact that they weren't bothered about gender-specific toys and activities and were simply happy to play in any way that gave them enjoyment. Mine was the same. However, I also recall primary school children frequently used "labels" as terms of abuse - "!!!!!!", "!!!!!" and "poofter" were a few.

Gender-neutrality is an extreme stance to take in parenting, whilst I believe that we should encourage our children to see that gender stereotyping is archaic and has no place in modern society, just as there is, thankfully, no place for the playground name-calling of my childhood.

Gender-neutrality, gender stereotyping and "labelling" people are separate issues in my view.