Mother's Day - Bar Humbug!!

Spendless

itsanne wrote: »

Em.....Why does Mothers Day matter at all? It's just commercial nonsense. The most thoughtless, uncaring people buy 'stuff' for Mothers Day just because it's advertised without it meaning a thing. What matters is how you're treated and that you're cared about all the time, not one day in 365.

Rant over.

This is certainly the way I feel about Valentine's day and why I don't bother with it. When it comes to Mother's day though and you've celebrated it since being a child with your own mother. Many Primary schools for example have the children make cards and you've also perhaps included your OH's mum at some point, you want to be on the receiving end when you are a mum yourself.

ripplyuk wrote: »

One thing I find a bit odd is that most women I know expect their partner to buy them gifts on Mother's Day, even when the kids are plenty big enough to do it themselves. I don't have kids but even if we did, I still see anniversaries/valentines as a time for gifts between partners, not Mother's Day. After all, I'm not his mother.

I suspect that is a combination of finances and the kids not having any/much money, a habit fallen into when the kids are young and that a lot of parents don't allow their kids to go places to shop for presents, something that I've only just realised is the case even with kids at Secondary school! My 11yo would like to go shopping with a friend, she suggested as a first time instead of the town centre, that a nearby shopping outlet would be a better idea. The kids would need to be picked up and dropped off, due to limited public service, but then the area is pedestrianised , with 1 walkwaya nd 2 sides of shops. In the unlikely event they lost each other, there's an easy meet up place. I've lost count of the amount of kids she's asked whose parents say they can't go. Why they are considered incapable of walking in a straight line down 2 rows of shops when they are all around 12 years old is beyond me, but it might go someway to explaining why Dad rather than child is expected to do the present buying.

fairy_lights

I bought my OH's mum a mothers day present back in January. There was something in the sales that I knew she'd love, and I knew that if I didn't buy it my OH would end up buying her a last minute box of chocolates from Tesco. (which she wouldn't want as she's on a diet).
He's absolutely useless at buying people presents and always leaves it to the last minute and buys total rubbish, I hate that I've given in and taken over all the present buying while he puts zero effort in though.
I think from now on I'm going to leave him to it and say we'll each buy form our own side of the family.

ripplyuk

ripplyuk what a shame your Mum appears so ungrateful. What would she say if you made a charity donation in her name?[/QUOTE]

I've already suggested that. It didn't go down well! She likes the custom of getting gifts on Mother's Day, despite not actually wanting any of them.

She gets gifts during the year whenever she mentions she'd like something, so she's telling the truth that she already has everything. It's just a bit irritating when I arrive with a big bunch of flowers for her and she says 'oh, more flowers'. Especially when I've had to save up for it.

missprice

Well I used to be very hurt by the lack of anything mothers day/birthday/Xmas/pick your own event.

However after all these years now I just am not too bothered. Which is good cos I am sure I ain't getting anything this year either. On the other hand when they finally do get me something it means that bit more to me cos I know they don't usually bother and I never ask them for anything for any event.

But I don't do anything for OHs family, I don't even know any of the dates. His mum gave him a calendar for Xmas with all the dates noted, even his own birthday!

If he forgets any event, its not my problem.
Ex hubby used to not buy me anything for mothers day, he was most upset when fathers day came around and he got nothing from me. And kids were too young to make anything sadly.

Jagraf

I would just stop acting like a mum and a wife for the day. It will be hard, but don't do any chores etc. it is commercial but dinner etc could still be cooked for you.

The more you do, the less they will.

My DD was actually handed a card to write by my OH last year. She wrote it but forgot to give it me. When she eventually handed it to me I told her I didn't want it as there was no thought in it. I think she got the point.

d70cw6

what a commercial joyless occasion these things are.
why do you place such importance on these "tat" occasions? they are meaningless.

Piggywiggy

You never know they might suprise you!

pollypenny

I like the true meaning of Mothering Sunday and used to have to hunt for the correct card for my mother.

A card and some simple flowers are all that's needed.

purpleshoes_2

Sezzagirl wrote: »

One thing! One occasion in the whole year! 3 Cards. 3 Pot Plants!

It's not a lot to ask really is it?

I organise all the birthdays, anniversaries and most of Christmas. I remember them, buy the cards and presents and make sure they get delivered. I take time over it and make sure I get something I think each person will like and I take pleasure in doing it

Ages ago, I asked my OH to take charge of Mother's Day. There's me, his Mum and my Mum. Usually we all get a card and a plant of some sort. Little thought goes into it but usually something is done. In the past, he has even bothered to arrange lunch or tea or something

This year I know for a fact nothing has been done. When I've mentioned it, I've been told neither my OH or either of my sons (ages 18 & 16) have had time to do anything! As far as I am aware, there have been cards in the shops for weeks now so the only reason they've had no time is because they've left it to the last minute.

I've just told OH that I will get cards and gifts for my mum and his mum because I don't want either of them to be let down and he's said he was going to do that Saturday afternoon - forgetting that we are going to an event for his hobby on Saturday afternoon!

So, I will sort out it out so no one is let down.................except me that is. I suspect I will get a card or 2 on Sunday but it will be a bit bittersweet as it will only be because I have asked for them as it were.

I would really have liked to think that my family were doing this because they wanted to.

Rant over. I don't suppose there's any point to it really

This isnt about mother's day. Its about the couldn't care less attitude.

If you are happy organising all the gifts for the rest of the year do it. If not then don't.

My mum doesn't bother about Mother's Day. Never has. I said on another thread that I'm taking my mum out a few times for a meal this month plus another on her birthday but we don't have anything arranged for Mother's Day and it doesn't matter.

What matters is the relationship we have the rest of the year round and that, looking at what you've written is the bigger deal. The fact you seem to be taken for granted.

I may get shot down in flames for this but it's another day. If you love someone and you don't take them for granted, it should show all year round, not just on a day set aside by the card companies.

indsty

I can't stand Mothers Day. I don't need my children to be encouraged to buy me presents or cards or flowers. I have three grown up boys - not married - if they get me something it is lovely, but I feel absolutely no resentment if they don't. It does not mean they love me any more, or any less. I like it even better when they just turn up on a random day with my favourite lemon drizzle cake.