Mother's Day - Bar Humbug!!

Sezzagirl

One thing! One occasion in the whole year! 3 Cards. 3 Pot Plants!

It's not a lot to ask really is it?

I organise all the birthdays, anniversaries and most of Christmas. I remember them, buy the cards and presents and make sure they get delivered. I take time over it and make sure I get something I think each person will like and I take pleasure in doing it

Ages ago, I asked my OH to take charge of Mother's Day. There's me, his Mum and my Mum. Usually we all get a card and a plant of some sort. Little thought goes into it but usually something is done. In the past, he has even bothered to arrange lunch or tea or something

This year I know for a fact nothing has been done. When I've mentioned it, I've been told neither my OH or either of my sons (ages 18 & 16) have had time to do anything! As far as I am aware, there have been cards in the shops for weeks now so the only reason they've had no time is because they've left it to the last minute.

I've just told OH that I will get cards and gifts for my mum and his mum because I don't want either of them to be let down and he's said he was going to do that Saturday afternoon - forgetting that we are going to an event for his hobby on Saturday afternoon!

So, I will sort out it out so no one is let down.................except me that is. I suspect I will get a card or 2 on Sunday but it will be a bit bittersweet as it will only be because I have asked for them as it were.

I would really have liked to think that my family were doing this because they wanted to.

Rant over. I don't suppose there's any point to it really

Spendless

Feel your pain! Only reason mine is less chaotic this year, is because my Mums was given a week early due to her being on holiday. I've just been into town and picked up a mother's day card for my MIL and cards and birthday presents for my grandma who is 91, tomorrow and now living in a nursing home and we will be all the visitors she gets. Finding a lack of choice, I decided to buy my own mothers day card. DH did say I shouldn't have, but this one is a suitably funny grovelling card apologising for all the stuff the kids do, like make mess and pester for money. :rotfl: I will really appreciate it.

jaylee3

What are you angry about Sezzagirl? Because it's always you doing everything?

Or because your family are not doing anything for you/getting you anything?

To be fair (and I don't mean this as an attack on men!!!) women do tend to be the ones doing stuff like this (family and friends birthdays, Christmasses and all the arranging etc.) If it was left to men, nothing would get done. (Sorry bit of man bashing there. )

Maybe Sezz, you could treat yourself to a big box of choccies and a big bottle of wine!

Marker_2

I completely get what you mean. I am going to get my husbands nan a card, even though he should, will probably get her some flowers too. His mum can jog on.

I will be cooking mother's day lunch for my mum (although secretly wishing my husband would offer to do it all) as this is her first mothers day without her own mum.

I'm highly doubtful my hubby will get me a card or anything. All I will say is I will remember this for 'father's day'.

Georgiegirl256

Sezzagirl wrote: »

So, I will sort out it out so no one is let down.................except me that is. I suspect I will get a card or 2 on Sunday but it will be a bit bittersweet as it will only be because I have asked for them as it were.

You've hit the nail on the head right there. It's an empty gesture. If you have to remind someone that it's Mothers Day, Valentines Day or your Birthday and then ask them to get you something (or worse, buy your own) then it's pointless IMO, any card or gift to me would be meaningless.

jp1964

It does get you down sometimes when you feel everyone simply won't do things unless you chivvy them along, and I can totally understand how you must feel.

All you want is some acknowledgment, not expensive gifts, it is not a lot to ask.

I was actually only on here to post another rant about Mothers' Day, and then saw this!

Hope you have a lovely day on Sunday even so, I am sure they all love you to bits but are simply thoughtless, doesn't help much though when you end up feeling unappreciated.

itsanne

Em.....Why does Mothers Day matter at all? It's just commercial nonsense. The most thoughtless, uncaring people buy 'stuff' for Mothers Day just because it's advertised without it meaning a thing. What matters is how you're treated and that you're cared about all the time, not one day in 365.

Rant over.

ripplyuk

I'd love to make my mum happy on Mother's Day. The problem I have is that my mum doesn't want anything. Not flowers, chocs, jewellery, plants, clothes, ornaments, a photo frame, a spa day or facial, literally anything I suggest. She keeps saying she has everything she wants. But there'd be hell to pay if I didn't show up with something!

So we all turn up with the obligatory flowers etc (some very expensive), and she says thanks but clearly isn't interested. I just hate waste, especially of this amount of money. I'd really prefer to give it to charity.

One thing I find a bit odd is that most women I know expect their partner to buy them gifts on Mother's Day, even when the kids are plenty big enough to do it themselves. I don't have kids but even if we did, I still see anniversaries/valentines as a time for gifts between partners, not Mother's Day. After all, I'm not his mother.

duchy

I have reminded my partner to buy a card for his Mum this week but that is as far as I will go. If he now forgets then that is up to him -she's his mother and either he cares enough to do something for her or he doesn't. If I did it it'd be meaningless.

It's the one day of the year there is an expectation people show appreciation for Mum be it a card, a visit, a phone call and most Mums would feel hurt to not be acknowledged in some way- even if it's just a cuppa in bed Sunday morning.

However if you start buying cards or presents for yourself - then why should your partner or kids bother ? You've given them a clear message you don't expect them to do it.

Sezzagirl

Phew, glad I'm not the only one gently seething!!

Jaylee3 I don't really mind sorting everything else out. I actually quite enjoy choosing things for people. It's definitely the lack of thought that's getting me down

ripplyuk what a shame your Mum appears so ungrateful. What would she say if you made a charity donation in her name?

itsanne You're right really and I do know at heart I am appreciated. It's just nice to have a tangible reminder too! Especially when I see pretty things that I can't really justify buying for myself. Maybe the dog should "buy" something for me!

Oh well, I'll see if something nice falls in the basket for me tonight and I'll make sure I treat my Mum to something nice and, as a special treat to myself, I'll try to get out of visiting his Mum!!

Newly_retired

DH does not believe in Mother's Day. He says, and I don't disagree, that it is just a commercialised scheme. Still, I felt sorry for his mother, as he never sent a card or anything. Since that was on principle, I certainly did not go and get her one myself.
DH has always been very good at organising cards and presents for his family at birthday and Christmas.
I fail to see why this task should have to be taken over by wives or partners. Does it mean men don't care about their family or are just too lazy to bother?