School, sickness, work... Arrggghh

meritaten

just remember that schools do NOT want to be in the position of being sued if they DIDNT call you when your child is ill. I don't blame them for being 'ultra cautious'. but, most schools don't want to send kids home for nothing either.
the bottom line is that YOU and your OH are the parents. YOU decide if the child or work takes priority.

alias*alibi

meritaten wrote: »

tbh - I think you need to 'get firmer' with your manager. your priorities seem a bit twisted to me.

You know what, I needed to hear this as this is a constant battle going on in my head. My DD is my world, I love her to bits. I'm also aware that a job gives me the security in life I desperately need so this is where this battle comes in to play; putting my DD first or work. Of course DD will always come first and that's the problem. I have had words with my manager about this but as soon as we get on an even footing this has happened again and will set me back to square one.

Buzzybee90

meritaten wrote: »

just remember that schools do NOT want to be in the position of being sued if they DIDNT call you when your child is ill. I don't blame them for being 'ultra cautious'. but, most schools don't want to send kids home for nothing either.
the bottom line is that YOU and your OH are the parents. YOU decide if the child or work takes priority.

Sorry, I don't think this is fair (in general), I believe you're underplaying the importance of work - is your co. Very lenient maybe?

tea_lover

Hardly bullying to expect someone to turn up when you're paying them.

FBaby

I haven't read all the responses, but I could have written your post some years back. In my case, it wasn't so much pressure from bosses, but pressure from my responsibilities. If I was chairing an important meeting, and had to cancel messing about over 10 people with tight diaries, knowing that rescheduling would be a nightmare, it added a lot of stress to my life.

My kids went to three different schools and I've been surprised at the differences in attitude towards sickness. The first school would call at the slightest complaint and expected the child to be picked up right away. The second primary school though was totally different and supported children staying at school unless they were very poorly, so the calls from them were rare and if I said I had an important meeting, they would be happy for DS to stay. His afterschool club though was completely the opposite and again called me at the slightest little injury.

The secondary school is half way. The will call but will be very open to whatever I say and as children are older, it is easier to discuss with them. They have long got used to going to school with colds and coughs and to stay at home, they have to be really poorly.

Saying that, I have had instances of feeling deeply guilty, the worse was last year when DS school call to say he'd fallen and was complaining of pain in his arm. I spoke with DS and he said he did hurt but said he could stay until the end of the day. When I got home, I realised that his arm looked a bit swollen, so decided to take him to A&E and sure enough, he had a facture arm! I did feel dreadful then, but DS himself told me that I shouldn't because although it did hurt, it wasn't much more painful than the few other times I took him to A&E and it turned out to be nothing.

In the end, it is part of the work life balance, it is hard, constantly juggling responsibilities, but I can say that my kids haven't suffered from it, and actually have learnt to be resilient and they now themselves make comments on friends staying at home for minor ailments. Neither of them have had a day off sick so far this year.

ali-t

meritaten wrote: »

the bottom line is that YOU and your OH are the parents. YOU decide if the child or work takes priority.

having managed staff for many years, my priority is having staff who are committed to the organisation and their role within it. in the working day when people are being paid to be at work, work should be their priority.

warmhands.coldheart

Does this LA Family Friendly Poicy not have guidelines as to how often you can take this time off over any set period of time? If not it must be very badly put together. I can understand from your point that you want to care for your child but I can also see it from your employers point of view in that if you were taking off 2,3,4 or 5 days every other or 3rd week then it would obviously cause resource problems , hence manager asking you to take work home, as well as financial constraints as I assume you are still getting paid for these days, hence the manager is asking you to take it as leave ......

It's a hard one really and yes you do have responsibility for your child but also have to your work who pay you to do a job.
It'll be hard but you'll just have to compromise be it taking work home, taking holiday time or unpaid leave, whatever....... family life is hard.....

As far as your child, having not read all the posts here, is she actually always sick or do you think she just doesn't want to be in school for any reason (bullying, anxiety etc????)

System

ali-t wrote: »

having managed staff for many years, my priority is having staff who are committed to the organisation and their role within it. in the working day when people are being paid to be at work, work should be their priority.

Thank god I don't work for you -Family is my priority work is something I do for money.

mumps

OP I think you were asking for some practical suggestions not a debate on the rights and wrongs of FF policies.

I don't know if this would work for you but here goes. I am retired and a granny. My DS and DDIL work and most days I am available for back up, obviously I occasionally say to them that I am having a holiday or day out or hospital appointment or something but generally if children are sick or school closed I am there. I would be more than happy to be a paid "baby sitter" for other mothers in case of need. I am not doing anything important, am available for my own grandchildren so not a big deal for me and if I get a bit of money for the odd day then it is a win win situation.

Not sure how you would find people but I suppose there is always the postcard in the local shop or just word of mouth.

Hope that might be useful, good luck with the LO. I had a year with one of my children when he seemed to be off school alot. Caused nightmares for me but it suddenly ended and he was back to normal. Good luck.

Marisco

mumps wrote: »

OP I think you were asking for some practical suggestions not a debate on the rights and wrongs of FF policies.

I don't know if this would work for you but here goes. I am retired and a granny. My DS and DDIL work and most days I am available for back up, obviously I occasionally say to them that I am having a holiday or day out or hospital appointment or something but generally if children are sick or school closed I am there. I would be more than happy to be a paid "baby sitter" for other mothers in case of need. I am not doing anything important, am available for my own grandchildren so not a big deal for me and if I get a bit of money for the odd day then it is a win win situation.

Not sure how you would find people but I suppose there is always the postcard in the local shop or just word of mouth.

Hope that might be useful, good luck with the LO. I had a year with one of my children when he seemed to be off school alot. Caused nightmares for me but it suddenly ended and he was back to normal. Good luck.

Although that is a very good sensible idea, you'll come up against "The Rules"!! :eek: You'll have to have CRB checks, insurance problems if your doing it for money etc etc. Bloody ridiculous I know, but unfortunately that is what things are like these days! I often wonder how we ever got to the age we are, without all this red tape!!