School, sickness, work... Arrggghh

Jagraf

So pleased I'm past this stage. When DD was little I was on my own and worked full time for a small company and she was in full time nursery. Every day I 'prayed' that she would be well as I didn't want to miss work and my priorities were very often pulled and pushed in so many different ways. I would say I have good business sense and I knew that in my absence the company would suffer and thus affect many of us, which in turn would lead to my child suffering.

I ploughed through, just about. I took what I could home, and if I missed work I made up the hours (my company didn't ask me to do this).

Looking back I think I would have tightened my purse strings and tried to work part time, or at least in a job which was autonomous so that I could work from home or so that no one else would suffer.

OP, is there any way you can look at jobs within your LA which give you some flexibility role-wise? I don't know what you do, but maybe all this stress to which there are very few solutions means its time for both of you to look at things differently? I bet with you both working full time you are spending loads of money on just managing - my downfall was shop bought sandwiches and quick food in the evening which cost a fortune.

I wish you the best of luck.

Marisco

CHRISSYG wrote: »

Thank god I don't work for you -Family is my priority work is something I do for money.

To be fair Ali is looking at it from an employers point of view, so can you really blame her? I think if I was an employer I'd have to look at it from a business point of view as well. You cannot have staff members off at the drop of a hat, especially if it's a small employer or small dept within a works. Yes it's unfortunate if your child is sick, but you really should have a back up plan in place if you work, especially if it's full time.

Jagraf

CHRISSYG wrote: »

Thank god I don't work for you -Family is my priority work is something I do for money.

And your money is needed to feed your family. Without a successful company, you don't get paid. It's all linked. There isn't a money tree at the company people are employed to make the money they earn.

cazziebo

Family is my priority too. That means I have to work to provide a good lifestyle for them. Putting that income at risk for trivial illnesses is not an option. Obviously, anything more serious does mean it has to be me that looks after the children.

I agree with mumps. I think you need a fall back to cope with these kinds of illnesses. Are there any stay at home mums who would help you out/students on part time courses/childminders with space during school time?

CRANKY40

What I would do is book your daughter a gp and an opticians appointment. Get her eyes checked to make sure she's not suffering from eye strain and at the go explain the situation and ask for a prescribed bottle of ibuprofen or paracetamol liquid. If it is prescribed and labelled then school can administer it and call you if she is no better after half an hour say. If she's had a cold it could be her sinuses playing up which does cause a nasty headache but is often fixed with painkillers.

I would also be querying with your daughter why she said she has been sick when she hasn't and I'd be telling the school that she hadn't actually vomited too. Is she having trouble with something at school? Pretending that she has been sick after 30 minutes in school just sounds like she's not happy about something. Maybe she was worried she would be sick but you need to get her fixed which would then clear the rest of the conflict.

mumps

Marisco wrote: »

Although that is a very good sensible idea, you'll come up against "The Rules"!! :eek: You'll have to have CRB checks, insurance problems if your doing it for money etc etc. Bloody ridiculous I know, but unfortunately that is what things are like these days! I often wonder how we ever got to the age we are, without all this red tape!!

I don't have a problem with DBS checks (new name for CRB) and I don't think the insurance is a problem if you are baby sitting at their home. Would be interesting to check it out when you think how many teenagers do a bit of babysitting. You can do an online DBS and any parent concerned can check it online. I don't think it would worry them in my case as I volunteer in school so they know I am checked but obviously not always the case.

Just had a quick look and could get £5 millions cover for £55 a year so if I actually wanted to set up to do this it wouldn't cost alot. I think my first aid cert is up to date so I could do this quite easily. I wonder what I could charge? I see a whole new career starting up.

peachyprice

CRANKY40 wrote: »

What I would do is book your daughter a go and an opticians appointment. Get her eyes checked to make sure she's not suffering from eye strain and at the go explain the situation and ask for a prescribed bottle of ibuprofen or paracetamol liquid. If it is prescribed and labelled then school can administer it and call you if she is no better after half an hour say. If she's had a cold it could be her sinuses playing up which does cause a nasty headache but is often fixed with painkillers.

I would also be querying with your daughter why she said she has been sick when she hasn't and I'd be telling the school that she hadn't actually vomited too. Is she having trouble with something at school? Pretending that she has been sick after 30 minutes in school just sounds like she's not happy about something. Maybe she was worried she would be sick but you need to get her fixed which would then clear the rest of the conflict.

The most useful piece of advice in the entire thread!

silvercar

You are caught between your work and your family. If in your mind one had absolute priority then you wouldn't feel so caught, even though whichever you chose half the people on this thread would say you were wrong. The problem is that you aren't making that choice so get the internal turmoil.

On a practical level, you need a back up plan. Family/ friends/ paid help. The problem is not only that you only need help occasionally, but that you only need help when your child is ill and that isn't easy to find.

Marisco

mumps wrote: »

I don't have a problem with DBS checks (new name for CRB) and I don't think the insurance is a problem if you are baby sitting at their home. Would be interesting to check it out when you think how many teenagers do a bit of babysitting. You can do an online DBS and any parent concerned can check it online. I don't think it would worry them in my case as I volunteer in school so they know I am checked but obviously not always the case.

Just had a quick look and could get £5 millions cover for £55 a year so if I actually wanted to set up to do this it wouldn't cost alot. I think my first aid cert is up to date so I could do this quite easily. I wonder what I could charge? I see a whole new career starting up.

Ask the local babysitters what the going rate is. If you have the time - and inclination - it's a very good idea, I'm sure there are many people who'd like someone to pick up their kids from school, without all the hassle of "official" childminders who charge even if they don't have the kids!!

cazziebo

mumps wrote: »

Just had a quick look and could get £5 millions cover for £55 a year so if I actually wanted to set up to do this it wouldn't cost alot. I think my first aid cert is up to date so I could do this quite easily. I wonder what I could charge? I see a whole new career starting up.

What you are offering is an emergency on call service so it's a bit more than babysitting. You could ask parents to pay a "registration" fee which means they would name you as emergency contact, authorising you to collect from school.

Most of it is likely to be very short notice which means you having to shift your own arrangements around and you should be compensated for that. Settle on a rate you think reasonable and you're comfortable with. I think this would be a fantastic support for working parents.