School, sickness, work... Arrggghh

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

I understand it's hard if your daughter is ill/'ill' but work sounds very lenient to me in the first place.

It's not normal for a child to be ill so often, if there is really nothing medically wrong with her could there be something at school she wants to avoid?

Five days over five years maybe, but so often since Christmas?

Unions, HR, really?!

I started getting migraines when I was about 10.

Could be a hormonal thing. But the last three weeks have seen between 4 and 5 hulking teenagers sat outside the main office, clutching litter bins, only to be sent home and then replaced by another tranche of pukers after lunch every day. Makes the girls there with nausea, headaches and period pains and the usual PE related injuries, all look a bit anxious.

alias*alibi

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

I understand it's hard if your daughter is ill/'ill' but work sounds very lenient to me in the first place.

It's not normal for a child to be ill so often, if there is really nothing medically wrong with her could there be something at school she wants to avoid?

Five days over five years maybe, but so often since Christmas?

Unions, HR, really?!

She's been getting lots of headaches and if she's like myself and some other family members then it's possible it could be migraines. She was hardly ill last year but quite a few so far this year. I'm at a loss what to do but something has to give before I lose my job/sanity etc.

ali-t

as far as i am aware most employers consider themselves family friendly these days in order to comply with legislation but most of the legislation is along the lines of the 'the employer must consider...' rather than the employer must.

in my work i would not be paying you when you are off with your child, you would not be able to work from home as if you have a sick child to care for you can't be giving work your full attention, you would be given reasonable time to find alternative childcare (need to be in work within 2 hours of start time and make time up) and if the absences put a strain on the rest of the workforce you would be unlikely to still have a job - and still my organisation complies with legislation around family friendly policies.

I appreciate you feel like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place but could you get some alternative solutions in place so your child knows that if they are sick she will be cared for but possibly not by you - by a relative, one of your friends etc. That way your child is cared for, your boss doesn't feel like she is paying you for not being at work and you are not being tugged in lots of directions at once.

meritaten

ali-t wrote: »

as far as i am aware most employers consider themselves family friendly these days in order to comply with legislation but most of the legislation is along the lines of the 'the employer must consider...' rather than the employer must.

in my work i would not be paying you when you are off with your child, you would not be able to work from home as if you have a sick child to care for you can't be giving work your full attention, you would be given reasonable time to find alternative childcare (need to be in work within 2 hours of start time and make time up) and if the absences put a strain on the rest of the workforce you would be unlikely to still have a job - and still my organisation complies with legislation around family friendly policies.

I appreciate you feel like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place but could you get some alternative solutions in place so your child knows that if they are sick she will be cared for but possibly not by you - by a relative, one of your friends etc. That way your child is cared for, your boss doesn't feel like she is paying you for not being at work and you are not being tugged in lots of directions at once.

if she DOES have to take 'Family Friendly' time off - she shouldn't take work home as she has done before! You cant have it both ways - if the work gets done - then she should be paid. if she isn't getting paid, then its up to the employer to work around her absence.

esmy

I was called to school to 'sick' children on a number of occasions when a bit of commonsense applied would have meant no time off school for them or work for me.

Once when DD1 had fallen out with a friend and was upset about it (she was/is a drama queen!)
Once on the hottest day of the year when DD2 had had 2 lessons out of doors then PE, no drink offered.
Once when DD2 trapped her thumb in a door
On all these occasions and others I took them straight back into school when they'd calmed down/had a drink etc. Of course there were also times when they were genuinely ill.

I learned telling school I was at least half an hour away (true) often meant there was no need for me to collect them at all and they made a speedy recovery and got on with their day.

My work was always very good about time off if I needed it but I also had a back up plan with a friend if I was out of the area. Could you arrange something similar to minimise the days off you need?

alias*alibi

Unfortunately my parents don't live in this country and DH's parents live 45 miles away and don't drive and most of my friends work. It's a difficult situation and not ideal hence why I need to find solutions. However, councils do let their employees take family friendly, it's never been an issue with previous managers.

Edited to say I'm going to get firmer with the school I think. Their policy is children should be sent to school unless they have been physically sick which is what I did this morning; but then took DD's word that she had been sick and immediately rung to get her collected banning her to return for 48 hours.

Better_Days

For example, I took a day off to look after DD in January. I took work home as I could feel it was a pretentious subject and did about 4-5 hours on work whilst ignoring DD ill on the sofa. The next day she asked me how was I going to repay the other 3 hours back! Flabbergasted I suggested FF which she declined as it wasn't an emergency

OP the problem with this from the managers point of view is that it appears that you think you are doing the manager a favour for doing the work you are being paid to do. Is it possible you see FF as a right and your manager sees it as a privilege which is being abused - not necessarily by you but by some employees, and you are reaping some of the consequences - special leave for childcare was abused by some parents in my office and it caused some bad feeling - (I assume you are being paid for FF time off - if not this doesn't apply)

As Tigsteroonie asks - are there problems managing workloads when you are absent at short notice?

It sounds as if taking work home is a viable option - could an arrangement be made within the team that if FF time has to be taken by any team members then if possible work of a certain nature be taken home and done if possible to ease pressure on the team?

Tigsteroonie

alias*alibi wrote: »

However, councils do let their employees take family friendly, it's never been an issue with previous managers.

Do they? Does the policy actually say that you can drop work at zero notice, go home to look after your child, and for there not to be any sense of responsibility? Or have previous managers simply been able to be more accommodating due to the different workload?

alias*alibi

Better_Days wrote: »

OP the problem with this from the managers point of view is that it appears that you think you are doing the manager a favour for doing the work you are being paid to do. Is it possible you see FF as a right and your manager sees it as a privilege which is being abused - not necessarily by you but by some employees, and you are reaping some of the consequences - special leave for childcare was abused by some parents in my office and it caused some bad feeling - (I assume you are being paid for FF time off - if not this doesn't apply)

As Tigsteroonie asks - are there problems managing workloads when you are absent at short notice?

It sounds as if taking work home is a viable option - could an arrangement be made within the team that if FF time has to be taken by any team members then if possible work of a certain nature be taken home and done if possible to ease pressure on the team?

Not at all; I suggested it but a little give and take goes a long way. Anyway my initial OP wasn't specifically about FF but feeling caught between a rock and a hard place and feeling I've got to neglect one to make the other happy and vice versa.

Andypandyboy

I have to say that family friendly means on the odd occasion when you need to leave work to sort out childcare.

If you work full time and have kids then you have to have a back up plan in place, be that family or paid for care. Schools are not there for taking care of sick kids or erring on the side of the parent if in doubt.