School, sickness, work... Arrggghh

alias*alibi

Just a rant really.

I work for a LA and as part of the perks is family friendly policy which allows you to take up to 5 days off to care for dependants who are ill. Unfortunately since the new year my DD has been ill a couple of times, hardly ever during last year, which has resorted in me and DH having to take time off to look after her. My manager has opposed me taking some of this time as family friendly and I've either took work home or took it as annual leave.

DD has been ill again since Monday evening, no problem as DH is at home at the moment and only working a day a week. So he was with her yesterday so I told her today she must go in to school as Weds is the day DH has to go to work and that i can't keep taking days off. Got to work at 9, got a call by 9.30 from school asking me to collect DD as she is upset and complaining of a headache and has been sick. Fair enough, I leave work and collect her. I quizzesd DD as to whether she was actually sick and she said no! So I've taken a day off work as school said she had to be collected (not allowed back til Friday) and probably set myself up for all sorts of grief at work for no reason.

I feel at the moment I'm either neglecting my DD to please my manager or neglecting work to keep running due to the schools demands that I need to collect DD and I'm getting pretty stressed out trying to juggle trying to please everybody. It's just sods law that today is the one day a week that DH had to work so I had to be the one to collect her.

Any ideas how I tackle this? I've spoke to manager about it previously about the pressure she's putting on me about it but I think I should now be tackling the school that they do not call me to collect DD unless they have seen that she has been physically sick, at the risk of sounding like I'm neglecting her over work?

balletshoes

I think you do need to clarify with the school why they sent for you today as your DD wasn't physically sick as they told you originally? They may have a policy about at what stage (ie depending on what your child tells them is wrong with them/how ill they are feeling) they contact the parents to collect their child.

comeandgo

Do you think your child is pulling sickies? Has the doctor said what is wrong with her? You can't expect the school to not call you if your child says she feels unwell. What if she really was ill.

alias*alibi

comeandgo wrote: »

Do you think your child is pulling sickies? Has the doctor said what is wrong with her? You can't expect the school to not call you if your child says she feels unwell. What if she really was ill.

Hmmm quite possibly pulling a fast one, however, she knows I get grief about taking time off so I'd expect her to realise pulling sickies won't be taken lightly by me. I totally understand that the school need to call and this is where I'm stressing as my manager doesn't seem to 'get that I have no other choice.

j.e.j.

It's been a really bad winter for illnesses. I think I've had more lurgs this year than I've had in the last 5 years!

But anyways, no you can't send the child to school when she's ill, regardless of how inconvenient it is for you or your work.

alias*alibi

j.e.j. wrote: »

It's been a really bad winter for illnesses. I think I've had more lurgs this year than I've had in the last 5 years!

But anyways, no you can't send the child to school when she's ill, regardless of how inconvenient it is for you or your work.

It's not inconvenient for me per se. It's trying to please everyone as I swear my manager thinks I'm swinging the lead when DD is ill, thinking I want the time off.

alwaysskint96

j.e.j. wrote: »

It's been a really bad winter for illnesses. I think I've had more lurgs this year than I've had in the last 5 years!

But anyways, no you can't send the child to school when she's ill, regardless of how inconvenient it is for you or your work.

Schools can be a bit OTT at times though- i remember my eldest DDs school phoning me at work to collect her when in year 5- turns out she had a stitch after running round in playground- but rather than let her rest a bit they jump to the phone I dont get paid when not working and was a single parent so this kind of thing was infuriating Was more than once as well, all silly things that could wait

meritaten

does the phrase 'workplace bullying' mean anything to you? the LA is supposed to have a 'family friendly' policy - yet it sounds anything but that to me.
take the time off and challenge them to 'do their worst'. at Tribunal they wouldn't win as they are going against their own policy.
your line manager sounds like a real bully.
oh and I think children come first - and I was by no means a 'helicopter parent'. but a sick child shouldn't be in school. in my experience the very last thing a school wants to do is send a child home for no reason, they must have thought she really wasn't feeling well.

Jagraf

If you Can you work from home or take annual leave in lieu, or make up the times on different days then it should be ok I would think.

mumps

j.e.j. wrote: »

It's been a really bad winter for illnesses. I think I've had more lurgs this year than I've had in the last 5 years!

But anyways, no you can't send the child to school when she's ill, regardless of how inconvenient it is for you or your work.

I think there are lots of bugs around and they seem quite nasty. I know a couple of people who are never off work but this winter they have both been off for nearly a week. Honestly I thought they would be in work on their death beds, they must have been really bad to take this time off.

alias*alibi

meritaten wrote: »

does the phrase 'workplace bullying' mean anything to you? the LA is supposed to have a 'family friendly' policy - yet it sounds anything but that to me.
take the time off and challenge them to 'do their worst'. at Tribunal they wouldn't win as they are going against their own policy.
your line manager sounds like a real bully.
oh and I think children come first - and I was by no means a 'helicopter parent'. but a sick child shouldn't be in school. in my experience the very last thing a school wants to do is send a child home for no reason, they must have thought she really wasn't feeling well.

Thank you. I've had a few discussions about it with her; she is very process focussed and does everything by the book, whereas somebody else would clearly see its family friendly and unless really taking the mick would grant it. For example, I took a day off to look after DD in January. I took work home as I could feel it was a contentious subject and did about 4-5 hours on work whilst ignoring DD ill on the sofa.