School, sickness, work... Arrggghh

alias*alibi

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

Do they? Does the policy actually say that you can drop work at zero notice, go home to look after your child, and for there not to be any sense of responsibility? Or have previous managers simply been able to be more accommodating due to the different workload?

If an emergency crops up (including sick children/even snow days etc for the benefit of the poster above) then you are allowed to take the first day as FF but they expect you to make alternate arrangements for any other time of needed. I checked with our HR dept.

nearlyrich

ali-t wrote: »

I appreciate you feel like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place but could you get some alternative solutions in place so your child knows that if they are sick she will be cared for but possibly not by you - by a relative, one of your friends etc. That way your child is cared for, your boss doesn't feel like she is paying you for not being at work and you are not being tugged in lots of directions at once.

Some people don't actually have anyone else to turn to if their child is ill...I know that I was very lucky that my Mum was always available for ill kids and school holiday child-minding duties, some of my friends were not so lucky. Sadly Mums can't win, if they work or if they don't someone always has something negative to say.


I found the worst offenders for having a go when people were off with children, were other women who smugly had great flexible family based care, or men who's wives were SAHMs.
The manager who had no children actually apologised to one of my friends after she had children of her own and realised they did sometimes need their Mum when she was meant to be at work. I hope you find a solution OP....

Tigsteroonie

alias*alibi wrote: »

If an emergency crops up (including sick children/even snow days etc for the benefit of the poster above) then you are allowed to take the first day as FF but they expect you to make alternate arrangements for any other time of needed. I checked with our HR dept.

But could you do that every week? (I'm not saying that you have, it's just a question!) How often can you invoke that FF day, before someone says "Hang on, this is happening a little too often"?

alias*alibi

nearlyrich wrote: »

Some people don't actually have anyone else to turn to if their child is ill...I know that I was very lucky that my Mum was always available for ill kids and school holiday child-minding duties, some of my friends were not so lucky. Sadly Mums can't win, if they work or if they don't someone always has something negative to say.


I found the worst offenders for having a go when people were off with children, were other women who smugly had great flexible family based care, or men who's wives were SAHMs.
The manager who had no children actually apologised to one of my friends after she had children of her own and realised they did sometimes need their Mum when she was meant to be at work. I hope you find a solution OP....

Thank you. It sound seem some posters also think I enjoy taking time off from work when all I want it to find a solution for a peaceful life. We've had enough stress with DH's job lately.

Tigsteroonie

alias*alibi wrote: »

Thank you. It sound seem some posters also think I enjoy taking time off from work when all I want it to find a solution for a peaceful life. We've had enough stress with DH's job lately.

I don't think you are taking time off because you enjoy doing so. However, I am trying to see this from both your perspective and that of your manager in order to help you find a solution that would suit both, rather than just you.

alias*alibi

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

But could you do that every week? (I'm not saying that you have, it's just a question!) How often can you invoke that FF day, before someone says "Hang on, this is happening a little too often"?

Of course not; but then again I'd be having some strong words with the school/DD if it was happening every week.

So far I've taken 1.5 days off looking after DD this year (excluding the day I took work home) so not excessive as Ive sought solutions as in I did AM and DH did PM; or vice versa and shared it. However as DH doesn't have a factory to go to ATM and it's quite possible shifts will change and a new building may not be as near to home then sharing sick days may not be as viable in the future.

Edited to say I wasn't offered FF for days taken so far and haven't taken any for about a year; Ive used AL where necessary but think it is unfair that it's never offered when it's there to be used. It's about one of the only perks we get and the reason I stay working for LA.

Better_Days

alias*alibi wrote: »

Thank you. It sound seem some posters also think I enjoy taking time off from work when all I want it to find a solution for a peaceful life. We've had enough stress with DH's job lately.

I certainly don't think this, but you have to appreciate the impact that you having time off at very short notice has on your collegues and manager. As has been discussed there is no easy solution, especially if you don't have family/friends nearby who can help.

So you are left with either DH taking the time off work, or you being more proactive and coming to an agreement with your manager that doesn't engender the bad feeling that seems to be the current situation. Could you sit down with your manager and plan what will happen to your workload the next time your DD is poorly and you have to leave work at short notice?

Of course you need to care for your DD when she is poorly but, that leaves others responsible for your workload and it maybe this is difficult to manage at short notice. So can a plan be put into place to mitigate the effects if DD is poorly again?

Tigsteroonie

alias*alibi wrote: »

So far I've taken 1.5 days off looking after DD this year (excluding the day I took work home)

My apologies - I interpreted

alias*alibi wrote: »

Unfortunately since the new year my DD has been ill a couple of times ... taking some of this time as family friendly and I've either took work home or took it as annual leave ...DD has been ill again ... Weds I leave work and collect her.

as equating to this being at least the third time, and certainly more than just 1.5 days in total. So this would have had less of an impact than I originally envisaged when replying.

meritaten

alias*alibi wrote: »

Unfortunately my parents don't live in this country and DH's parents live 45 miles away and don't drive and most of my friends work. It's a difficult situation and not ideal hence why I need to find solutions. However, councils do let their employees take family friendly, it's never been an issue with previous managers.

Edited to say I'm going to get firmer with the school I think. Their policy is children should be sent to school unless they have been physically sick which is what I did this morning; but then took DD's word that she had been sick and immediately rung to get her collected banning her to return for 48 hours.

tbh - I think you need to 'get firmer' with your manager. your priorities seem a bit twisted to me.

alias*alibi

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

My apologies - I interpreted



as equating to this being at least the third time, and certainly more than just 1.5 days in total. So this would have had less of an impact than I originally envisaged when replying.

Sorry should had been clearer. I was eventually given 3 hours as FF; but yes me and DH have shared the care until today when it wasn't viable. I know taking today (which is included in the 1.5 days may I add) will get me grief and why I'm cross with school causing it when really there was no need to collect DD as she wasn't sick.