School, sickness, work... Arrggghh

alias*alibi

Jagraf wrote: »

If you Can you work from home or take annual leave in lieu, or make up the times on different days then it should be ok I would think.

This is one of my issues; I shouldn't have to as we have a family friendly policy for this very reason but I don't get a choice to exercise it. Hence my stress trying to keep everyone happy and not rock the boat.

To be honest, it wouldn't matter if I took it unpaid, worked from home, took annual leave etc. The problem is not being at work and taking time off to look after DD that seems to be the issue..

j.e.j.

She's a bully, by the sounds of it. Don't let her get to you.

kingfisherblue

As your manager is denying you the Family Friendly time, you could contact HR and/or your union for their support.

carmina_piranha

Did your daughter tell the school that she'd been sick?

My son is the same age (and I don't think it's old enough to fend for themselves for entire days, especially if ill) and after having a couple of days off school ill he got into a state where he was anxious about going back because he'd missed so much work, and he said he was sick when really he hadn't properly vomited. He was still feeling weak though.

Better_Days

It sounds to me as if you and your manager have different interpretations as to what 'family friendly' leave means in practice. Do you have any written guidance as to the circumstances when FF applies or an HR dept or union that can support you?

How many of your FF days have you taken so far?

Do you work in a small team so that when you are away it is hard for the rest of the team to cover your job? Is there any way that more flexibility could be built in to the roles in your team so that one person being away doesn't have such an impact.

I can see this from both sides. I was put under a great deal of pressure from my manager when I first became ill to deliver the same amount of work as my well colleagues (I was eventually retired on ill health grounds). It can get very unpleasant, luckily I had the union to support me.

But prior to my illness I worked in a small team and was expected to do my work and that of my colleague who worked 'term time only' (another version of FF ) which I felt was very unfair. The underlying problem was that 'term time only' work patterns were poorly managed, and it was neither my fault nor that of my colleague, but the work still had to be done when she wasn't there.

My manager was very goal orientated too, and it is very difficult to reason with someone with that sort of mindset.

Tigsteroonie

Does anybody want to look at this from the manager's perspective? [ETA while I was typing, Better Days did!] The manager has a member of staff who has had a substantial number of days off since Christmas, many of them at short notice, in the most recent instance with zero notice. This could cause problems managing the workload of the team, as they don't know how many will be there; it could cause the other team members to develop stress from trying to manage the increased workload within e.g. their agreed customer service targets; it could mean that the manager gets a 'failed' performance rating because their team didn't hit targets.

Our company's "family friendly" policy is written around flexible working legislation, enabling an employee to request the option to work different hours, from home etc - but not on an incredibly short-term temporary basis, more as a permanent change, as this enables managers to re-plan their team's workload accordingly. It would be a very accommodating organisation that would be willing to manage "on the fly" in this way.

Just sayin'.

It was unfortunate for the OP that this has happened on the one day her OH was working. That would be the basis of my approach to her manager - that alternative arrangements had been put in place as best they could.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

It's only a few pounds to join the union. Sounds like it could be worth it.


My last boss informed me that as she'd never heard of a sprained ankle requiring the use of crutches, I'd have to get a medical report before I could take unpaid leave to attend physio for it, as the bursar and LA wouldn't stand for anything else.

Since she's left, I've had a week off when my daughter was in hospital with no request for proof and the bursar told me yesterday, when asking how I was, that I shouldn't worry about trying to work on the days of my physio or to get them a fortnight apart, as it's more important to get myself treated than anything else. Oh, and when I go onto some pretty hefty RA medication soon, just to text her the night before if I think I'm going to feel too ill to come in for the next few days. All on full pay.


My point is, you might find that the rest of the place is very happy to accept your circumstances. Just so long as you don't go in all guns blazing, they might nicely remind her of their FF policies.

Buzzybee90

I understand it's hard if your daughter is ill/'ill' but work sounds very lenient to me in the first place.

It's not normal for a child to be ill so often, if there is really nothing medically wrong with her could there be something at school she wants to avoid?

Five days over five years maybe, but so often since Christmas?

Unions, HR, really?!

alias*alibi

Thank you to all who have responded.

Of course I definately see if from both points otherwise I wouldn't be trying to please everybody. It's gettng to the point who do I p!ss off the most, my manger, the school or keep calling on DH (when he was at work) to take the time off instead. I'm all for a quiet life but find if I do challenge decisions then I'm criticised for that too. Can't win.

carmina_piranha

There's a lot going around recently. Obviously if there's a history of headaches or something else that a doctor should look into then fair enough, but if it's that horrible chest infection flu thing followed by a tummy bug then that's unavoidable.