Renovations and Repayments.

AlexLK

smallholding: Yes, you'd think so. However, my mother doesn't have the sense to call 999. The last time my father was seriously ill (life threatening) he was dragged (literally) into a Land Rover and taken to hospital. I was informed the evening after that "your father is in intensive care". Apparently, "an ambulance won't come if you've got your own car"??? :mad:

turtlemoose

£50k a year net is £4166 a month. For comparison, a family of 2 adults on minimum wage, one child aged 5-9, one parent working full time, one working 25 hours a week (during school hours), paying 5% pension and claiming tax credits, would have an income of £1824 a month - 43.78% of your income.

I'm sure I'm wasting my time, but I feel like I can't help but try to give you a little perspective.

newgirly

Blimey 50k after tax, thats shed loads more than me and my dh earn , the other day you said you could not afford to make op's like me? Plus I've an extra 2x mouths to feed!

maman

Alex, I'd have thought reading some of the stories on mse would give you a sense of perspective on what a 'poor boy' really looks like. As I see it, you've got two choices in the short term (i.e. before you inherit). Either you live an independent life within your means which is very comfortable by most people's standards or you let your parents bankroll you. I know you have many and complex reasons for favouring the latter but your wife doesn't agree.


As for LittleK being exposed to the horrors of an ipad and sweets for a couple of hours. He'll survive. It'll help give him a perspective on life. He needs to learn increasingly that people are different and choose to live different lives. Not necessarily better or worse but different. It won't do him any good to be closeted away. I had a similar experience with my youngest granddaughter. Her mum is very indulgent. Her choice and I kept out of it but when DGD visited us I insisted on 3 proper meals, no grazing or snacking, small sweet treat as a pudding and a sensible bed time with the lights off. She also asked me if we owned a television (our only set was behind closed doors) as she never saw it on and she was used to wall to wall:rotfl:. It just gave her a perspective (which I was comfortable with in my own home) and she's survived just fine.


:T on setting out ground rules with the parents. I'd let it ride for a while and if they do start pushing the boundaries (e.g. crying wolf) then have a rethink.

greent

AlexLK wrote: »

turtlemoose: Compared to the majority of people I know Mrs K and I live on a budget.


Mrs K and I earn just over £50,000 after tax if I count all income revenues (including income that goes to savings), as I said we're hardly rich.
.

newgirly wrote: »

Blimey 50k after tax, thats shed loads more than me and my dh earn , the other day you said you could not afford to make op's like me? Plus I've an extra 2x mouths to feed!

Our joint GROSS taxable income last financial year was well under <50k - for a family of 6 However, I wouldn't consider us poor in any way

AlexLK wrote: »

I don't want to not answer the 'phone in case they really do need me.

Inclined to agree with you here - but you do need to make sure you stick to ground rules which you've set them about times/ visits/ reasonableness. You have your own life and your own family (being Mrs and Little K)

Petal88

greent wrote: »

Our joint GROSS taxable income last financial year was well under <50k - for a family of 6 However, I wouldn't consider us poor in any way

Whoa that's impressive! I do worry about the cost of future kids and so on but clearly it's doable if I keep an MSE hat on, good to know!

AlexLK

turtlemoose wrote: »

£50k a year net is £4166 a month. For comparison, a family of 2 adults, one child aged 5-9, one parent working full time, one working 25 hours a week (during school hours), paying 5% pension and claiming tax credits, would have an income of £1824 a month - 43.78% of your income.

I'm sure I'm wasting my time, but I feel like I can't help but try to give you a little perspective.

newgirly wrote: »

Blimey 50k after tax, thats shed loads more than me and my dh earn , the other day you said you could not afford to make op's like me? Plus I've an extra 2x mouths to feed!

greent wrote: »

Our joint GROSS taxable income last financial year was well under <50k - for a family of 6 However, I wouldn't consider us poor in any way

To clarify, this figure takes into account the c.£10,000 after tax I've made over the year not related to business which has been put into savings. That doesn't really count on a month to month basis. In reality we live on c.£3,500 per month and really can't afford to pay more than £1,000 to the mortgage (repayment and small overpayment). If you're managing on less than that, NG and overpaying what you do, that's seriously impressive.

A few years back we did live on a lot less but didn't have to find the mortgage payment. Hardly dare admit who was paying that.

This is a bit of an eye opener, I suppose as I thought most of you were better off than Mrs K and I.

greent wrote: »

Inclined to agree with you here - but you do need to make sure you stick to ground rules which you've set them about times/ visits/ reasonableness. You have your own life and your own family (being Mrs and Little K)

Thanks, I think you're right about setting some ground rules, it's all getting quite silly. I go there everyday and they expect me to be there. Today son and I went to the In-Laws ... Yes, I was on my best behaviour but my parents were not one bit pleased we were not able to go to them for lunch (not arranged, just expected).

AlexLK

maman wrote: »

Alex, I'd have thought reading some of the stories on mse would give you a sense of perspective on what a 'poor boy' really looks like. As I see it, you've got two choices in the short term (i.e. before you inherit). Either you live an independent life within your means which is very comfortable by most people's standards or you let your parents bankroll you. I know you have many and complex reasons for favouring the latter but your wife doesn't agree.

I don't suppose I can really comprehend it. We have had a smaller income but we weren't paying our own bills and were getting into debt. I can't really see how anyone can live independently on £1,900 per month, assuming that counts no other income from investments. I know that likely makes me sound 'out of touch' with the 'real world'.

My main issue with staying here is the fact my son will not have a connection to the house we shall eventually live in. If he's grown up by the time we move there, he won't see that house as "home".

maman wrote: »

[As for LittleK being exposed to the horrors of an ipad and sweets for a couple of hours. He'll survive. It'll help give him a perspective on life. He needs to learn increasingly that people are different and choose to live different lives. Not necessarily better or worse but different. It won't do him any good to be closeted away. I had a similar experience with my youngest granddaughter. Her mum is very indulgent. Her choice and I kept out of it but when DGD visited us I insisted on 3 proper meals, no grazing or snacking, small sweet treat as a pudding and a sensible bed time with the lights off. She also asked me if we owned a television (our only set was behind closed doors) as she never saw it on and she was used to wall to wall:rotfl:. It just gave her a perspective (which I was comfortable with in my own home) and she's survived just fine.

:T on setting out ground rules with the parents. I'd let it ride for a while and if they do start pushing the boundaries (e.g. crying wolf) then have a rethink.

I don't want my son to be exposed to iPads or sweets, is that so wrong?

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

I don't want my son to be exposed to iPads or sweets, is that so wrong?

Not wrong at all but you aren't going to be able to keep them away from them for ever. It's better that he had a small taste (pardon the pun) occasionally then they'll be no big deal when he can make the choice for himself. As for the ipad (other similar appliances are available) then you're on to a loser. I'd even go as far as to say that not having computer skills will disadvantage him.

hiddenshadow

Bluefire wrote: »

Granted there's only two of us (and the cat!) but we live on less than £800 a month, covering all bills, shopping etc. The rest of our income is dedicated to repaying a family debt & overpaying the mortgage. Living on £1,900 would be great!

Our total expenses are £2,813.40/month which already includes a mortgage OP of £572.30 (we shortened our term by 11 years with our refinance). If you don't count that OP and scrap travel (insane London costs) and pet insurance (old dog + 3 other pets) our expenses would be about £1,910 - that includes allowances for each of us, eating out, and other non-essential spending, so we'd manage quite well on that. My goal is to bring that number down a bit so far we can OP the mortgage even more next year.

(2 adults, 2 dogs, 2 cats in our household.)