Renovations and Repayments.

heartbreak_star

They're all strange at that age. One of my mini cheerios asked me why if an orange is called an orange, a banana is not called a yellow and if all fruit worked like that then what would we call apples?

HBS x

AlexLK

Well, he's at school... the drop off was, shall we just say, difficult. Apparently, I need to 'get over it'.

School and my wife want son to stay at school during lunchtime. Wife thinks I'm 'setting him up to have no friends' and will have 'nothing to do with him coming home' so, she's gone out for the day. Not really sure what to do before lunch, suppose I ought to find something for him to eat as we usually go to the shops, pick together and he helps make lunch but no time for that today. Can't help but think he learns more at home, we have a strict timetable for the academic stuff and he also helps me fix things, cook, lots more I can't even think of. Now he's not here anymore, that stops, school is a big part of his life and I've got to pretend I'm OK with that.

Nothing to occupy my mind at the moment other than the fact I'm on my own. I have a couple of weeks off the voluntary job, hate letting them down but I just can't face it at the moment. Business has gone to the dogs and the jobs I can do to the house at the moment have been done. Not sure why I'm on here writing this, no one to tell I suppose.

cazmanian_minx

I do think the school and MrsK are right on this one, Alex - anything that marks a child out as 'different' may, unfortunately, lead to being picked on.

With regards to inheritance, have your parents considered a discretionary will trust? My father set one up, the income goes to my mother and the capital comes to me when she dies. If they are that concerned about matters, they could leave the assets/capital in trust for LittleK, but the income from those assets to you. The capital in Dad's trust was agreed by both sets of solicitors to be not up for grabs when I got divorced from my first husband (though that might have been because at the time my mother had recently been diagnosed with breast cancer and my brother and I, as the trustees, had agreed to dissolve it and use the capital if she needed any drugs that weren't on the list for the NHS in her area).

edinburgher

Sorry to say so, but I agree with your wife in this instance.

Your son will already be different enough with no TV, no internet, music lessons etc. He will not have a frame of reference for many of the things that his peers (new friends) will and you are probably going to find yourself bombarded with conversations and requests for new items that seem meaningless to you and are likely total tat

You will kindly acquiesce to many of these new requests because you love him and it is not healthy to try and mould children into miniature versions of ourselves.

Like you, I wish for far more happiness for my children than I have found for myself.

ourcornercottage

Sorry Alex can't agree with you on this one although I know your intentions are totally honorable. I think in the long term he will be more happy to have lunch at school and may just continue coming home to make you happy.

Almost every child has a difficult first few days at school one way or the other and its totally normal. its just helping to create the coping mechanisms when things change in life which they inevitably do.

Keep your chin up

heartbreak_star

If it helps at all, most parents have a difficult few days when their kids start school too.

Tell us stuff to keep you occupied. We don't mind

HBS x

maman

heartbreak_star wrote: »

If it helps at all, most parents have a difficult few days when their kids start school too.

Tell us stuff to keep you occupied. We don't mind

HBS x

Absolutely! But don't expect agreement;).


Most schools I know start Year R off part time so that they don't have to cope with staying for lunch and the tiredness of a long day from the offset. It seems your school don't do that.


What you're describing as your routine sounds almost like home schooling and while it may give you a focus to each day I really don't think it's going to help LittleK one bit. I can't remember who said it was OK to be a Special Snowflake (I had to look it up too;)) at four years old but I don't agree. Of course he's special and loved but he does need to start understanding the world around him too. A good school is as much about socialising as it is about academic learning. What I'd hate is that instead of realising he has different interests he'll decide that his way (i.e. your way) is better and start looking down on others. That's where a bad attitude to 'scummies' can spring from.

Muser1

Im half and half on the lunch time thing. A boy in my dds class goes home each day (y3) and it's not an issue. But they do interact so much at lunch, footie, tig etc. Why don't you let him stay each Friday to start with? Most schools have fish Friday which is really popular. If he enjoys staying then maybe add another day in and so on.

I hope he has had an amazing first morning. There really is so much more to school than the academic side of it.

Muser.

ourcornercottage

Muser1 wrote: »

Im half and half on the lunch time thing. A boy in my dds class goes home each day (y3) and it's not an issue. But they do interact so much at lunch, footie, tig etc. Why don't you let him stay each Friday to start with? Most schools have fish Friday which is really popular. If he enjoys staying then maybe add another day in and so on.

I hope he has had an amazing first morning. There really is so much more to school than the academic side of it.

Muser.

What a great idea :0)

7roland8

Alex - nice to catch up with you.


Hope today has been ok. And I am on your side regarding lunches - I had my boys home for lunches for a few weeks or so - until there was something they fancied one day or it was the Christmas meal - then they wanted to stay so no problem - I did it at their pace.


Just be matter of fact about school - al children have to go. Don't let your ambivalence affect him. Also say about fun things to do on the weekend or after school when you drop him off - or ask what he fancies for tea etc.


The first day is always worse for parents I think - but don't let him get the feeling he's abandoning you. Tell him you can do the boring jobs when he's in school so you have time for fun in the evenings and weekends.