Renovations and Repayments.

AlexLK

Ali-OK wrote: »

Sad to read that Alex after the impressive progress this year . Hope it's a blip and new pup makes for great family fun together

Now this roof of yours, what are the chances of you learning the skill and doing it...like those window frames

I, too, hope it's a blip and she'll come round.

You've reminded me that the puppy (still with no name ) will be here this time next week. :eek:

Every time we get a quote for the roof, I keep saying to Mrs K that I think I may just have a go... We've patched it up before between us but this is a really big job and would take an awful long time to DIY, which isn't exactly ideal. It's a pity Mrs K can't take a month or so off for "roof leave" next summer.

sarahevie1 wrote: »

I'm not one to give relationship advice, it would be a bit pot and kettle, plus a lot of what the heck do you snow. But hey I'll Wade in with my size sixs. :A

When one party is used to being reckless with money, it can be a long slog to make progress and there may be dips. It doesn't necessarily mean one blow out = long term poor money management. We all get it wrong from time to time.

I find you giving her everything she wants to stop her leaving hard to hear, but my brother in law is the same. He misguidedly thinks by giving his wife the world she will give him children, she won't.

Anyhow as people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones I'll follow with interest, wish you luck and say I think you are doing fabulously.

Hi sarahevie,

I suppose there's more to it than the money. I'm not going to pretend I'm 'good with money', far from it. Had I been good with money we'd be in a completely different position now.

Ultimately, I know that if she wants to leave, she will. Can't really say if I were her that I'd think that I was worth hanging on to.

gallygirl

AlexLK wrote: »

Can't really say if I were her that I'd think that I was worth hanging on to.

Can't really say if I were you that I'd think she was worth hanging on to.

I expect I'm speaking for others on here as well.

maman

gallygirl wrote: »

Can't really say if I were you that I'd think she was worth hanging on to.

I expect I'm speaking for others on here as well.

What I would say is that Alex needs to realise what an absolute 'catch' he is. He's bright, well educated, cultured, skilled, interesting and a caring son, husband and father. Then there's the matter of being likely to inherit millions;).


Please stop making yourself a doormat Alex, you know what happens to them!


I'm not someone who goes looking for arguments but I think you should have, at least, calmly stated your case about the up and coming holiday so that MrsK is aware that you disapprove of her plans. I can't believe anyone would think that using her limited annual leave to holiday without her husband and son using money that was earmarked for other things is other than a selfish way to behave. Telling her what you feel probably wouldn't stop her going but she needs to be made aware that you have a low opinion of her priorities and that your own standards are very different.

kelpie35

I am so sorry for how your wife is being disrespectful towards you, Alex.

I do understand that things have been very difficult for you and your wife in the past, but you need to make it clear to her that things have changed on the financial front. Your mental health issues have improved a great deal, but I do understand there are times that you feel very low.

If your wife does love and respect you I feel that she has a very strange way of showing this.

You are a fantastic dad, in time to come, your son will realise just how much you love and care for him.

I personally don't think it is healthy to stay in a relationship that you have described. What examples is this showing your son?

heartbreak_star

gallygirl wrote: »

Can't really say if I were you that I'd think she was worth hanging on to.

I expect I'm speaking for others on here as well.

I agree. Big hugs, Alex.

HBS x

Watty1

Echoing what Gallygirl and Maman said.


Hoping you are feeling a lot brighter today

sarahevie1

Hope today has been better. The black dog can make us all see things differently. Keep thinking about all you have achieved, she's lucky to have you - you've just got to believe it

AlexLK

gallygirl wrote: »

Can't really say if I were you that I'd think she was worth hanging on to.

I expect I'm speaking for others on here as well.

She's a keeper ... There aren't many into classic cars, happy to help with car / DIY stuff and actually dress like a girl too. :rotfl:

maman wrote: »

What I would say is that Alex needs to realise what an absolute 'catch' he is. He's bright, well educated, cultured, skilled, interesting and a caring son, husband and father. Then there's the matter of being likely to inherit millions;).

Please stop making yourself a doormat Alex, you know what happens to them!

I'm not someone who goes looking for arguments but I think you should have, at least, calmly stated your case about the up and coming holiday so that MrsK is aware that you disapprove of her plans. I can't believe anyone would think that using her limited annual leave to holiday without her husband and son using money that was earmarked for other things is other than a selfish way to behave. Telling her what you feel probably wouldn't stop her going but she needs to be made aware that you have a low opinion of her priorities and that your own standards are very different.

What are you after, maman? :rotfl:

I am aware that I've allowed myself to become a 'doormat', not really sure how to stop that and keep my marriage, though.

Unfortunately, there's no such thing as being able to calmly state my case without a subsequent argument, she detests having to justify her decisions.

AlexLK

kelpie35 wrote: »

I am so sorry for how your wife is being disrespectful towards you, Alex.

I do understand that things have been very difficult for you and your wife in the past, but you need to make it clear to her that things have changed on the financial front. Your mental health issues have improved a great deal, but I do understand there are times that you feel very low.

If your wife does love and respect you I feel that she has a very strange way of showing this.

You are a fantastic dad, in time to come, your son will realise just how much you love and care for him.

I personally don't think it is healthy to stay in a relationship that you have described. What examples is this showing your son?

Thanks kelpie.

You are right about her needing to know that things have changed on the financial front but I cannot see how I could make that clearer? It's been almost two years since I started paying the debts off and changing my spending habits.

My wife has stated on numerous occasions that she loves me but has no respect for me. Mind, I have no respect for me, either.

I'm more than aware my marriage is far from perfect and there are times when I wonder if she'll go to be with someone else she's met. At times I am concerned about the example I am setting my son and I'm sure my wife is too, isn't any parent?

AlexLK

heartbreak_star wrote: »

I agree. Big hugs, Alex.

HBS x

Thanks, HBS.

Watty1 wrote: »

Echoing what Gallygirl and Maman said.

Hoping you are feeling a lot brighter today

Thanks, watty.

Today has been awful in more ways than one but all being well tomorrow should be good and if everything goes to plan I should be adding a significant amount to savings (something has provisionally sold).

sarahevie1 wrote: »

Hope today has been better. The black dog can make us all see things differently. Keep thinking about all you have achieved, she's lucky to have you - you've just got to believe it

Thanks, sarahevie.

I agree about the black dog making us see things differently, it's affected me for far too long. The past few days I've been considering not going to the PGCE open days I booked because I was thinking I wouldn't be able to cope. Now I realise it's just a chance to find out what it's all about and I've another year to decide whether to apply or not, really wasn't seeing it rationally but that took my cousin talking to me about it.