Renovations and Repayments.

maman

edinburgher wrote: »

Isn't that a bit excessive? That's 10% of the cost of fixing your roof. If my wife was leaving me to my own devices to look after DD as the result of unplanned holidays, I can't think of any reason why I'd be buying her an OTT gift.

Sounds a bit odd Alex.

And messing up the family finances to pay for said unplanned holiday.


Definitely rein in your aspirations. Flowers from petrol station?;):rotfl:

AlexLK

Alchemilla wrote: »

Don't be tempted to store bottles above the sink.
When they fall or are dropped, they crack your new sink.
D'oh!

muddywhitechicken wrote: »

Too true :doh::doh::doh:

Certainly don't want that happening. The new bathroom is probably a little over a year away, though as we would like to get the roof sorted first.

AlexLK

edinburgher wrote: »

Isn't that a bit excessive? That's 10% of the cost of fixing your roof. If my wife was leaving me to my own devices to look after DD as the result of unplanned holidays, I can't think of any reason why I'd be buying her an OTT gift.

Sounds a bit odd Alex.

My wife likes jewellery and I happened to see a nice antique piece which I know she'd really like, not really sure what's odd about that? Though, I suppose I did get into the habit of buying her things for putting up with me in the hope she wouldn't leave.

The reason I didn't buy was because the money would have come from the savings towards the house projects. What's done is done with the holiday, I'm not going to be able to change her mind even though in an ideal world, I'd prefer she hadn't booked it.

maman wrote: »

And messing up the family finances to pay for said unplanned holiday.

Definitely rein in your aspirations. Flowers from petrol station?;):rotfl:

If I were to ever buy Mrs K flowers from a petrol station, I'm not sure I'd live to see tomorrow. :rotfl:

edinburgher

My wife likes jewellery and I happened to see a nice antique piece which I know she'd really like, not really sure what's odd about that?

It's easy to read too much into internet postings, but considering the negative impact some of her recent choices have had on your frame of mind, did you consider that you were trying to 'win her round' with a flashy gift? Not trying to cause insult, but it seems a bit too submissive. Have you discussed her surprise trip yet?

AlexLK

edinburgher wrote: »

It's easy to read too much into internet postings, but considering the negative impact some of her recent choices have had on your frame of mind, did you consider that you were trying to 'win her round' with a flashy gift? Not trying to cause insult, but it seems a bit too submissive. Have you discussed her surprise trip yet?

I didn't consider that I was trying to 'win her round'. Perhaps I was. As for 'submissive', I can't say I really have a marriage where I can be anything else, she most certainly doesn't need me (probably doesn't want me most of the time) and I know I'm lucky to not be on my own.

What's the point in discussing her holiday?? She clearly wants to go, I don't want her to and am annoyed about the financial implications. Therefore, I cannot see what would be gained from discussing it other than an argument.

AlexLK

Saturday 8th August, 2015.

Dear Diary,

Today has been a NSD as we'd already booked tickets for the local 1940s event and was only there for a couple of hours due to having another quote for the roof. This one was more expensive, though he did seem very knowledgeable. Also managed to get a few car jobs done and a list written of jobs to do on each car before September in preparation for the winter.

Reviewed the list I made of things to do to the house before the end of the year, too. Pleased to say quite a few jobs have been done. Mrs K reckons it's time to have a 'clear out', now though. :rotfl:

Onto finances, I've added the usual £30 to savings. There is also now £400 in the S&S ISA which I don't count as 'savings' due to having no intention to use / withdraw money from there.

Yours Faithfully,
Alex.

edinburgher

As for 'submissive', I can't say I really have a marriage where I can be anything else, she most certainly doesn't need me (probably doesn't want me most of the time) and I know I'm lucky to not be on my own.

Alex, I'm hoping that's the black dog speaking and not your actual belief.

What's the point in discussing her holiday?? She clearly wants to go, I don't want her to and am annoyed about the financial implications. Therefore, I cannot see what would be gained from discussing it other than an argument.

What would you tell your son if the same thing had happened to him? Do you a) think it's healthy to avoid arguments for the sake of not ruffling feathers? and b) think it is good for your marriage in the long term?

AlexLK

edinburgher wrote: »

Alex, I'm hoping that's the black dog speaking and not your actual belief.

What would you tell your son if the same thing had happened to him? Do you a) think it's healthy to avoid arguments for the sake of not ruffling feathers? and b) think it is good for your marriage in the long term?

I don't think I know what to believe anymore, she does whatever pleases her. She has disappointed me as I thought we'd both put the past behind us, moved on and started to piece our lives together. Starting to sort our finances out was a big step for both of us, one she has been happy to partake in this year, until that didn't suit, of course. However, she knows she can get away with doing as she pleases due to me forgiving much worse than this without protest.

I will not let my son grow up thinking he's worthless, so I'd like to think my son will have more self respect than to find himself avoiding arguments for the sake of keeping the peace. As for whether or not I think it's healthy, I don't really know as it seems the only way to keep her from leaving is to give her everything she wants.

Ali-OK

Sad to read that Alex after the impressive progress this year . Hope it's a blip and new pup makes for great family fun together

Now this roof of yours, what are the chances of you learning the skill and doing it...like those window frames

sarahevie1

AlexLK wrote: »

I don't think I know what to believe anymore, she does whatever pleases her. She has disappointed me as I thought we'd both put the past behind us, moved on and started to piece our lives together. Starting to sort our finances out was a big step for both of us, one she has been happy to partake in this year, until that didn't suit, of course. However, she knows she can get away with doing as she pleases due to me forgiving much worse than this without protest.

I will not let my son grow up thinking he's worthless, so I'd like to think my son will have more self respect than to find himself avoiding arguments for the sake of keeping the peace. As for whether or not I think it's healthy, I don't really know as it seems the only way to keep her from leaving is to give her everything she wants.

I'm not one to give relationship advice, it would be a bit pot and kettle, plus a lot of what the heck do you snow. But hey I'll Wade in with my size sixs. :A

When one party is used to being reckless with money, it can be a long slog to make progress and there may be dips. It doesn't necessarily mean one blow out = long term poor money management. We all get it wrong from time to time.

I find you giving her everything she wants to stop her leaving hard to hear, but my brother in law is the same. He misguidedly thinks by giving his wife the world she will give him children, she won't.

Anyhow as people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones I'll follow with interest, wish you luck and say I think you are doing fabulously.