Renovations and Repayments.

smallholdingsister

And stirring.

AlexLK

A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »

Excellent AlexLK !!!

Was just thinking back to the start of March when I challenged you to a 1 month target and before I knew it you were making your 2nd and 3rd :j Now just look at your statement above :T Can't tell you how happy I am for you, you are doing amazing.

I could join you for the dry and healthy month, but no way could I give up my biscuits/cakes and chocolate. No Way !!!

I'm going to have a think about my target for 2017 - how about - how quickly can I save £10

Thanks, AFK.

I am going to update the diary with some challenges for 2017.

:rotfl: Re. the sweet treats. I used to eat whatever I wanted and do quite a lot of exercise at one point but I've found quite a lot of foods in excess make me ill so there's my incentive, also convinced I'd be overweight if I ate like I used to in my early 20s. These days I also hardly drink alcohol and have entirely given up caffeine. Alcohol was initially because I wanted to save some money but it brought a lot of health benefits but if drinking coffee didn't impact on my health I wouldn't have given that up. Really miss nice coffee.

Hahaha re the 2017 targets... you have made me wonder if I could save £10 per day though.

smallholdingsister wrote: »

I don't know what Mrs has done but if drinking frees her to do silly things she will regret then I am thinking it sounds like a drinking problem.

However...don't want to dent the lovely positivity over here.

Great job Alex!

Her problem is that she'd like to think she can keep up with 20 year old builders that are twice her size. I suppose she's a binge drinker when she's out with work.

Thank you. Trying everyday to remain positive. This morning wasn't too good as I realised I've no plans for NYE and my wife has decided to invite herself over once our son has gone to bed. Should be looking forward to seeing her but I'm not.

gallygirl wrote: »

Good grief that sounds ridiculous but it's less than 10,000 a day. I'm in as well :T.

We've all used those excuses to justify the drivel we post at times, no reason you shouldn't do the same .

To be honest Alex she needs counselling or support on how to be a better parent never mind wife. Not speaking to her son for days (which I recall she did a while back) and walking out on him in a restaurant is not acceptable behaviour.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Apparently 10,000 steps in miles is the equivalent of 4-5 miles. I know I exceed that everyday with having the dogs.

Thanks, Gally.

I try to involve her as much as possible in parenting. Sometimes she has an interest and I know she loves him in her own way. She told me yesterday that she walked out of the restaurant because she was worried that she was going to start crying.

smallholdingsister

Not having plans for NYE is good. Can't you tell her you are going out?

AlexLK

Watty1 wrote: »

Loving the positivity here. Despite your circumstances, there is great humour, not knowing if to be furious and roll about laughing at the latest from Mrs LK. I was kinda both. If she isn't going to engage with the counselling don't waste your money, I've said before I once went because someone else wanted it and it was a waste of time and money. Maybe insist she pays?

Love the healthy January, especially that you have your father on it too. Maybe there is some other kind of baking you can do with your son? Bread? Savoury stuff? Pies? Or even soup making which your parents could eat at lunch time.
Hang in there Alex, keep posting, so many are here on your team

Thanks, Watty. Really am trying my best not to go back to how I was.

I think she's in denial thinking that if I go back, things will carry on as if nothing has happened again. I am concerned she will go through the motions and tell me what she thinks I want to hear in order for me to go back and pretend nothing has happened. I may ask that if she is serious about this I want to see a commitment of her paying the bill.

If father wants something else to eat, he can make it himself. Bread, savoury and pies are all potentials, I'll find some recipes. He's currently with my father making a fruit crumble, think that's going to be the last pudding before February. We will definitely make soup too, we all enjoy various soups and it is an easy lunch / dinner.

hiddenshadow wrote: »

Agree with everyone else re: the tone of the thread. Also agree with Watty that MrsK needs to commit to counselling for it to work.

I've made these which are quite tasty and healthy, but still baking: http://sallysbakingaddiction.com/2013/07/10/healthy-strawberry-oat-squares/ Could be useful for when you start your course as well, as you can grab and go. That reminds me I need to make another batch for January.

Thanks, hiddenshadow.

They look amazing and should be good as something different to eat for breakfast without cooking too.

smallholdingsister wrote: »

Soup is a great idea, anything goes in it and you can use up leftovers that way.

We have quite a lot of carrots at the moment, so I think a carrot and coriander soup could be our first of the new year. I used to hate cooking but quite enjoy it now as I've always enjoyed good food. Another thing to thank MSE for.

AlexLK

maman wrote: »

In my experience, children just love chopping up veg.

smallholdingsister wrote: »

And stirring.

:rotfl: Definitely my experience too.

smallholdingsister wrote: »

Not having plans for NYE is good. Can't you tell her you are going out?

No, she'll want to come if I say we are going out. She initially wanted to know if we were going out could she join us. I'm sure she'll go elsewhere if a better offer turns up.

smallholdingsister

Alex google Captain Awkward.
Mrs needs some boundaries setting out for her.

"No." is a complete sentence, for example.

DollyDee_2

Alex

I always read your diary. Don't know why particularly, I haven't got a diary or a mortgage but I read it one day and something grabbed my attention.

It's obvious you come from a wealthy family but you basically blew a whole lot of money and then had a lot of problems but I really admire the way you have coped with whatever life has thrown your way and your positive attitude nowadays.

I also admire the way you have helped talented but less privileged pupils at "the difficult school". To "onlookers" you may have appeared to have money because of the cars etc but the opposite was the reality. Yet you still bought and provided those children with the materials they needed and, especially, you devoted your time to them. Your chest should be well and truly puffed up!:)

You are such a kind and thoughtful person.

Your son must be one of the luckiest children on the planet to have a Dad like you and you should be so proud.

I truly hope you and your wife work things out.

Happy New Year and good luck with your target for 2017.

Dolly

AlexLK

smallholdingsister wrote: »

Alex google Captain Awkward.
Mrs needs some boundaries setting out for her.

"No." is a complete sentence, for example.

I googled Captain Awkward. Some amused me, some were tragic and there is a whole lot of good advice as to how to deal with situations.

Yes, she needs some boundaries whether we're together or not. Last night was difficult, she is very upset about things at the moment but won't give up the idea that everything can be forgotten again. I don't want to be the cause of a breakup but equally have no desire to pretend nothing has happened. I ended up not sleeping and having a really bad panic attack which lasted through the early hours - not the greatest start to the new year.

DollyDee wrote: »

Alex

I always read your diary. Don't know why particularly, I haven't got a diary or a mortgage but I read it one day and something grabbed my attention.

It's obvious you come from a wealthy family but you basically blew a whole lot of money and then had a lot of problems but I really admire the way you have coped with whatever life has thrown your way and your positive attitude nowadays.

I also admire the way you have helped talented but less privileged pupils at "the difficult school". To "onlookers" you may have appeared to have money because of the cars etc but the opposite was the reality. Yet you still bought and provided those children with the materials they needed and, especially, you devoted your time to them. Your chest should be well and truly puffed up!:)

You are such a kind and thoughtful person.

Your son must be one of the luckiest children on the planet to have a Dad like you and you should be so proud.

I truly hope you and your wife work things out.

Happy New Year and good luck with your target for 2017.

Dolly

Hi Dolly,

Thank you. I try my best to cope with things and am trying to come to terms with some of the choices I made in the past (not just money related ones).

Pupils and parents at the "difficult school" have taught me perhaps more about dealing with others from different backgrounds than I have taught them about music but I do try my best. In September this year I won't be going back there as I am doing the primary teacher training but will be teaching a few of the pupils and look forward to seeing them move onto university in a few years.

Whilst I try to be kind and thoughtful where possible, I don't think I really deserve that accolade but thank you. As for my son, really not sure about him being lucky to have me but I sure am lucky to have him. I hope my wife and I work things out too!

Happy new year, Dolly.

DollyDee_2

We've all made mistakes Alex. All of us. Financial or otherwise, no-one is perfect.

I truly think you have become more tolerant (less snobby?) and you are a better person for it.

You really do deserve the accolade. You and your son are "lucky" to have each other.

Best wishes - Dolly

AlexLK

DollyDee wrote: »

We've all made mistakes Alex. All of us. Financial or otherwise, no-one is perfect.

It seems to be part of the human condition. I often think I've made more and bigger mistakes than the majority. Perhaps they were mistakes I needed to make to better understand the world around me. It meant a lot that you think I am able to cope with the challenges life throws at me. I know that I don't really know you nor you really know me but I do try to be open as the advice on here is mainly good. This probably sounds quite sad but this forum is the reason I've managed to sort my finances out and live to a budget, something which I had no concept of pre-MSE. I know that is hard for some people to understand. I think Clarissa Dickson Wright said something about when one grows up with money it is hard to realise it doesn't grow on trees, I suppose that sums my attitude to it for the vast majority of my life.

DollyDee wrote: »

I truly think you have become more tolerant (less snobby?) and you are a better person for it.

Thank you.

DollyDee wrote: »

You really do deserve the accolade. You and your son are "lucky" to have each other.

Best wishes - Dolly