Renovations and Repayments.

kelpie35

Well done Alex for all your achievements this year.

You should be so, so proud of yourself.

Hope the coming year is kind to you and you continue to be a wonderful dad to your son.

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

Funny you should mention the house, I had some lengthy discussions about it with my parents today should things not improve. Father told me that he now thinks I'm "showing signs of responsibility" after going through my finances and showing him I've been pragmatic about the roof replacement and overpaying the mortgage. There were both convinced that I was in another financial mess until I showed them that I've been saving anything extra that I've earned towards the roof replacement / cars / overpayment / other things. As parents, they want me to stay at home but think it would be better for me if I completed the house and paid the mortgage off as they think that should give me a sense of achievement and self worth that I wouldn't have otherwise. They trust I will not get into more debt which I'm not sure they could quite believe they were saying! Not sure if my father was joking but he said he is proud of my achievements with sorting my finances out. Mother told me today that she and father were very reluctant to make some decisions they did re. their business dealings and me but they are glad they did and they want me to consider myself their partner in business. Can't say I've ever had a conversation with my parents that hasn't ended with me wondering whether I'm still a schoolboy until today. Don't want to be a let down after this.

And so say all of us!!!:j:j:j

AlexLK wrote: »

Today has been my birthday, mother and father insist on making a fuss, though they did give me a very nice watch, so I'm not going to complain. My wife came over for dinner.

Belated birthday wishes Alex. Your parents were right to 'make a fuss'. My eldest daughter has a birthday on 20th December and I thinks it's important to not let the occasion disappear into Christmas.


I thought of you the other day. Ann Trenemen (chief theatre critic and previously political sketch writer for the Times) wrote that she'd had a grandfather clock shipped over from her family home in USA to Derbyshire. She lives in Bakewell and is looking for a clock repairer. Do people who deal with watches also do clocks?


http://www.anntreneman.com/about-me/

AlexLK

smallholdingsister wrote: »

Hi Alex. Did your wife actually articulate that she didn't want to speak to Little K?

Chin up BTW we are rooting for you.

Thanks, smallholding. I can't say I'm finding things particularly easy at the moment. Everyday I wish I wasn't considering whether being married is the right thing or not. I know I've caused a lot of upheaval.

She told me that she didn't want to speak to him after what he said about not missing her.

cazmanian_minx wrote: »

Alex, I'm sorry about your current difficulties with your marriage, but listen to you :D:D What a HUGE difference from when you first arrived on MSE - be very, very, very proud of yourself, not just for the way you're now handling your finances, but for how you've grown in your relationship with your parents and your in-laws. :beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:

Thank you, Caz.

I am trying my best to move on from the past, I think both my parents and in-laws are appreciating that at the moment.

Watty1 wrote: »

Wow! What a turn around. Good for you!! I love that they are appreciating how much you do, and, that they are listening to you and you to them. After all you've written about the inlaws this was just a heartwarming read.


Errr - have I slipped into an alternative reality? What have you done with Alex?
Seriously this is wonderful to read.
Whatever happens from here, you should bookmark this post. Tempers may fray, things may be said in the heat of the moment, but you have certainly tuned a big corner and even your parents have recognised it. Bookmark this so you can remember that, in the calm, you have achieved and that has been recognised. Go you!!

My in-laws and I are still not the best of friends but we are getting along much better. I suppose I've changed my views about my son being a part of their lives after seeing they enjoy being grandparents to all their grandchildren. Over this past year they've made a real effort to get to know my son and take an interest in his life. I've realised the type of thing my mother says about them is not really helpful to my son. I suppose meeting some pupil's parents at the difficult school has also made me realise that my in-laws aren't quite as bad as I first thought.

Thank you, Watty. I am trying to make rational decisions. My parents seem to appreciate that. They told me yesterday that they had previously thought me incapable of making good decisions and living to a budget. It was true. I still don't trust myself with money, actually told my parents I'm terrified of having sole control of everything as I don't want to wind up bankrupting myself and my son ending up with nothing. In the past, I would have took offence to them telling me I could have a very easy life if I wanted but I suppose I am very fortunate. I'm starting to appreciate that family money is something they never had. Father told me that he only knew he and mother wouldn't lose everything when I was 15 and he would have been 60. Hope for us all, eh? :rotfl:

AlexLK

maman wrote: »

And so say all of us!!!:j:j:j

Belated birthday wishes Alex. Your parents were right to 'make a fuss'. My eldest daughter has a birthday on 20th December and I thinks it's important to not let the occasion disappear into Christmas.

I thought of you the other day. Ann Trenemen (chief theatre critic and previously political sketch writer for the Times) wrote that she'd had a grandfather clock shipped over from her family home in USA to Derbyshire. She lives in Bakewell and is looking for a clock repairer. Do people who deal with watches also do clocks?

http://www.anntreneman.com/about-me/

Thanks, maman. MSE people do seem to make a lot of sense and probably have more faith in me than I do in myself. :rotfl:

I suppose I'm trying to ignore the years passing as they seem to be going by so quickly and I still don't know what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. Seems everybody I'm in touch with from school and university have stable careers or successful businesses, no hints of it driving them to a mental breakdown and here I am with more qualifications than most of them looking forward to working part time as a teacher (if I get through my PGCE year) and looking after my family's business affairs. Hardly "made it", though according to my son being his Daddy is the most important job in the world. :rotfl: He's far too self important if you ask me.

I know of a few horologists. Will get in touch if I can dig out some contact numbers.

AlexLK

kelpie35 wrote: »

Well done Alex for all your achievements this year.

You should be so, so proud of yourself.

Hope the coming year is kind to you and you continue to be a wonderful dad to your son.

Only just seen this, thank you kelpie.

I hope you have a good 2017, also.

smallholdingsister

Then sorry Alex. She needs to remember who is the adult.

AlexLK

smallholdingsister wrote: »

Then sorry Alex. She needs to remember who is the adult.

:rotfl:

Latest from world of Mrs K ...

Will I cook dinner for all of us, she can come to my parents' to eat at 7.30pm everyday when she goes back to work... but can she and I go out every Friday night together for a meal and a few drinks after? My parents can look after our son and my mother can play taxi service. According to her this will stop her from going out with her work colleagues and "doing silly things" after work on Fridays.

Apparently, I need to pay for half the cleaning bill at the house even though I'm not there, so therefore not making any mess. She thinks I should pay half the utilities that I am not using and I also apparently need to pay for half the TV licence if this is still our arrangement when it is due. However, nothing tops her asking if I am still saving towards the bathroom replacement and can she have free reign over the design of it if I am not living there.

Not sure whether :mad: or :rotfl: is appropriate, to be honest.

smallholdingsister

Does she have a drink problem?

On the one hand, wanting to keep contact is encouraging.

On the other, she seems to have no concept of reasonableness.

AlexLK

smallholdingsister wrote: »

Does she have a drink problem?

On the one hand, wanting to keep contact is encouraging.

On the other, she seems to have no concept of reasonableness.

She only drinks too much when she goes out with the work colleagues or when she goes away with work as she often goes out with some of the labourers working on site. At home she's not bothered about drinking, so I can't describe it as a problem apart from when she's with the aforementioned groups.

She wants me to move back to the house and for me to simply forget everything. She told me what she did as a means to absolve herself, expecting me to thank her for telling me and pretend it changed nothing. I suppose I have in the past. Apparently she is working on managing her anger and told me that she will "behave herself" in the future, therefore we "don't really need" to have counselling. There are some days that I wonder why I still want to remain married to her at all.

AlexLK

Having seen that smallholding wishes to join my January challenge I thought I'd post it up on here ...

So, I'm giving myself a food and alcohol challenge for January. Christmas has been far too indulgent, my son has been enjoying baking and my parents seem to enjoy eating his cakes / biscuits rather than a proper lunch. I've also been drinking every evening, not to excess but I don't want it to become a habit again. Anyhow with all the indulgent treats my body is not thanking me for it so I'm going to have a better start to the new year.

First challenge is to not drink for 28 days in January and second challenge is to eat no cakes / chocolate / biscuits for the whole month. I am also interested in doing some vegetarian cooking to mix up our meals a little, so I'm hoping to have 10 meat free days also.

ETA: I hope people don't mind me posting. I know my current mortgage situation is a bit uncertain.