Renovations and Repayments.

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

Not really sure how to set the right example when most of the time the black dog is firmly by my side, walking to heel. .

At least you've got it walking to heel rather than biting you!! That's progress.;)


I'm with MrsK on the school lunch and not being different. When I said that you'd made the right decision for the wrong reasons it was because I suspect you'd have preferred LittleK to go to pre-prep now but gave in because you want to please him. I suspect that he enjoyed his first year at nursery most because it was new and also maybe because he clicked better with the older pupils as he's bright. When he goes to school, as it's so small, he's likely to mix with all ages so that should help. I'm not sure about your area but around here Reception don't start off full time but it may be different in your school as they've so few to settle in. I really would advise talking to his teacher (maybe when he goes for induction days).


Sorry to hear you've had a bad day. I don't do pets so I don't have a black dog but I really can't see how your family would be better off without you. It sounds like not only does LittleK love you to bits but you and MrsK seem to be getting on well too. And soon you'll have a puppy to depend on you too!!:D


Thought of you yesterday: a friend is renting a cottage in Bakewell for the week. Envying her a week in Derbyshire. Hope the sun shines.

AlexLK

maman wrote: »

At least you've got it walking to heel rather than biting you!! That's progress.;)

I suppose "walking to heel" implies I have got it under control. Unfortunately, I haven't but it's often by my side and won't go away.

maman wrote: »

I'm with MrsK on the school lunch and not being different. When I said that you'd made the right decision for the wrong reasons it was because I suspect you'd have preferred LittleK to go to pre-prep now but gave in because you want to please him. I suspect that he enjoyed his first year at nursery most because it was new and also maybe because he clicked better with the older pupils as he's bright. When he goes to school, as it's so small, he's likely to mix with all ages so that should help. I'm not sure about your area but around here Reception don't start off full time but it may be different in your school as they've so few to settle in. I really would advise talking to his teacher (maybe when he goes for induction days).

You're right about the initial decision to send him to the village school but I'm no longer sure which school is right for him, putting my own prejudices aside. Sending him to pre-prep would have given me a much easier life where my parents are concerned but I'm not sure he would be happy there, lunches aside.

He will start full time from day one after an afternoon in July. In the KS1 class (ages 4-7) the Headmaster teaches 3 days and there's a lady teacher that teaches 2 days per week.

I hope he will take after Mrs. K. and find good friends for life at school, ones that will be there both when times are good and not so good.

maman wrote: »

Sorry to hear you've had a bad day. I don't do pets so I don't have a black dog but I really can't see how your family would be better off without you. It sounds like not only does LittleK love you to bits but you and MrsK seem to be getting on well too. And soon you'll have a puppy to depend on you too!!:D

Thought of you yesterday: a friend is renting a cottage in Bakewell for the week. Envying her a week in Derbyshire. Hope the sun shines.

The bad days always seem to outweigh the good. I try to do my best for my son and know the best thing is for him to grow up in a stable environment. I pray things will never become bad enough that I have to tell my son about my problems when he's older. Mrs. K. and I are getting on a lot better, we've been married for nine years now and are talking about renewing our vows next year. It would be nice to get some new photographs, I can't look at the originals. Not long before the puppies are due now, son is very excited although he still doesn't know one will be ours yet.

Weather hasn't been great today, I'm afraid. You've every right to be envious of your friend, I still love Bakewell now, despite being born there, living there for my entire childhood and settling close-by (still sad about the Matlock postcode :rotfl:). Anyhow, I hope your friend enjoys her stay and doesn't eat too many Bakewell puddings.

Alchemilla

Being horribly blunt...

Your parents seem to have a huge role in your life
How does Mrs Alex feel about that?

Are you drinking at the moment?

Do any/all of the above contribute to feeding the black dog?

AlexLK

Alchemilla wrote: »

Being horribly blunt...

Your parents seem to have a huge role in your life
How does Mrs Alex feel about that?

Are you drinking at the moment?

Do any/all of the above contribute to feeding the black dog?

My parents are getting no younger and I have to help them with their business and their house. Luckily my mother is still very well but she is beginning to slow down as she is 74 this year and wishes to pass their business onto me before she reaches 80. My father is going to be 80 this year and isn't as fit as mother, she takes him to various appointments and it takes a lot of her energy making sure father stays as fit as possible. I am now responsible for looking after their house which takes a lot of time to keep on top of. Personally, I can't see what is wrong with wanting to make sure my parents are not alone in their old age and in the future, I do not wish to have strangers care for them. My wife doesn't particularly like my parents and thinks I should leave them to get on with their lives. That said, she doesn't even like going there for Sunday lunch and complains about Christmas, New Year, other yearly events spent with them, which I think is out of order.

I have not always been close to my parents but that was mostly my fault. I suppose I do think I've a lot to make up for over the past but I also want them to see their grandson as much as possible because they didn't have that opportunity with me.

As for the other issue, I suppose I have started regularly drinking again but I'm not a drunk, if that is what you're trying to infer. I don't think drinking has got anything to do with my mental health.

Drifting away from this topic and onto finances, my wife and I have decided to start to overpay our mortgage by £200 per month, starting from when she gets paid. She's told me that it would mean a lot to her if she were to pay for this house.

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

As for the other issue, I suppose I have started regularly drinking again

You're welcome on the other thread Alex. See you in July maybe but not too late for this month.:)

Alchemilla

Hi Alex.
Thanks for your very frank reply.

I am not trying to suggest you are a drunk (pot, kettle, black!) And of course there is nothing wrong with looking after one's elderly parents.

Its just that some reasons for your black dog did rather leap out at me and I wondered what you thought.

edinburgher

I don't think drinking has got anything to do with my mental health.

Alcohol is a depressant, it does! :coffee:

newgirly

Currently going through issues with my gran, I cannot emphasise enough the stress and pressure it puts on family life, we have many family members involved in helping my gran too. Don't promise what you may not be able to deliver regarding caring for your parents when the time comes, it's perfectly possible to be there for them in support and let others care for them. I know my gran feels far happier when a nurse is helping her wash and would most certainly not let us do that.

Plus depending on circumstances, could you be there 24 hours a day getting up in the night and caring in the day if needs be? They need the best care and support, which may well have to include other people.

Ps I have to say I would not want to spend every Xmas with my inlaws too, sorry if that offends

Debsnewbudget

Like Newgirly says be careful what you promise.
My mum is nearly 89, years ago she asked me to promise that she would never have to go into a nursing home. I was strong enough to say that I could not promise that but that I would do everything possible to keep her at home.
Fast forward to now. She has carers 4 times a day and District Nurses 4 times a day and is thankfully still at home. We managed to get the care package we needed but the main thing for me, is that it has to work without my daily input. I work full time but the professionals were very happy to ask me to look after things, and seemed surprised when I said no. The expectations on you as an only child are high.
Just make sure you know what the boundaries are Alex before everyone assumes the boundaries for you. It's a difficult line to tread, and if you throw guilt and emotions into the mix at the same time, then you will never feel you have done enough.

slowcoachme

Your parents DID get the opportunity to get to know you and spend time with you when you were younger, they just chose not to by immersing themselves in their business and creating their wealth, even to the extent of palming you off onto an aunt during the holidays.
This type of parenting has had a massive impact on your life, I don't think you owe them anything.