Renovations and Repayments.

maman

That's a difficult one Alex. I was very interested to hear about your BIL's changed view of his sister, now puts into perspective why the in-laws' attitude to you is changing. They've obviously seen MrsK in her true colours and not liked it. She's being very immature and irresponsible at the moment. I suppose all you can do is calmly say your piece when appropriate and hang on in there. At least you've moved on from when you wouldn't point out the error of her ways for fear of losing her.


All I'd say is keep encouraging LittleK to do things without you whenever possible whether that's staying at school for baking, riding, visiting cousin, grandparents involved (a little), Beavers or any opportunity you can engineer. You can't force MrsK to spend time with him but you two spending all his free time together isn't good for either of you.


So it's stew weather in Derbyshire? Hope it's tasty. You could try saving a portion and freezing it to see if it poisons you.;)

AlexLK

newgirly wrote: »

Ok, wow not sure what to say to that I was kind of thinking she had some kind of pnd and hasn't bonded well with him. I can see why you would be worried leaving her in sole charge though, have things improved over the years?

My wife doesn't have any problems with mental health, she's generally happy (hope my son inherits this). She hasn't bonded with him in the way people often expect a mother to bond with her child but she doesn't see this as a problem and is happy with her relationship with him. It's just how she is. A few of her friends have recently had children and she cannot understand why they don't want to be going out with her / have got heavily involved in their children's lives. In her own words she's not really "mum-material" but will happily play trains / paint / whatever other fun activity with him for a few hours. I'm not worried about him being with her as such, she would not let him come to harm, I just don't want it to be like the last time.

I suppose it's my fault really: I wanted a family, she told me she didn't mind either way and I suppose she indulged my wishes when I felt I had nothing to live for. Before that point she was a "hmmm, maybe one day" sort of person when asked about children. Looking back I don't think she wanted any. When she was pregnant she really wanted a girl (not really sure her reasons behind this) but that didn't happen. I wouldn't say things have improved over the years.

maman wrote: »

That's a difficult one Alex. I was very interested to hear about your BIL's changed view of his sister, now puts into perspective why the in-laws' attitude to you is changing. They've obviously seen MrsK in her true colours and not liked it. She's being very immature and irresponsible at the moment. I suppose all you can do is calmly say your piece when appropriate and hang on in there. At least you've moved on from when you wouldn't point out the error of her ways for fear of losing her.

All I'd say is keep encouraging LittleK to do things without you whenever possible whether that's staying at school for baking, riding, visiting cousin, grandparents involved (a little), Beavers or any opportunity you can engineer. You can't force MrsK to spend time with him but you two spending all his free time together isn't good for either of you.

So it's stew weather in Derbyshire? Hope it's tasty. You could try saving a portion and freezing it to see if it poisons you.;)

Perhaps you're right about the in-laws. I don't really know what their motivations are, to be honest but I'm pleased they want to be a part of their grandson's life and aren't deliberately trying to wind me up at every opportunity.

Yes, my wife can be quite immature and irresponsible but at the same time she has no problem with responsibility at work. Granted, the maturity levels in her industry does seem to be rather low at the best of times. :rotfl:

At the moment I cannot pretend I'm happy that she's decided to not talk to our son due to some bad behaviour which happened over a week ago, as I think this is not a good example to be setting.

I am starting to understand my son is growing up and needs some different company. This evening he's going riding straight from school and is taking the child he went to the show with in August along. Cousin is picking them up and son was unbelievably excited about this before he went to school. So, I'm hoping he's been involved at school today.

It's not particularly warm or bright, though I don't suppose winter has set upon us either. So, I'll reluctantly call it stew weather. :rotfl: re. using the freezer.

newgirly

It doesn't sound like its your fault Alex, whether she originally wanted a baby or not she has had a long time to bond.:(

You have the patience of a saint, not talking to a small child is ridiculous and rather cruel. There are far better ways of dealing with bad behaviour. Forgive me but is she trying to punish you as well?

AlexLK

NG: Ultimately, it was my fault for wanting a family but I've got absolutely no regrets about my wife and I choosing to have a child. I know a lot of parents say something similar but he truly is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Not really sure what she's trying to achieve, to be honest.

AlexLK

Had a cottage pie cooking session tonight: 6 individual cottage pies made and transferred to the freezer (yes, the freezer). :eek: This will cover three meals as we'll cook them before splitting into three helpings. One more stew made for later on in the week and we're going to have salmon, new potatoes and vegetables tomorrow evening. At the moment I'm enjoying the meal planning: less shopping, less fuss, less waste and it all seems a lot more controlled. Obviously, it remains to be seen whether or not I'll stick with this and not completely freak out over eating the frozen meals. Something about it does feel a little "ready meal". Whilst on this topic, does anyone know if I could make a batch of soup and freeze a portion of it?

I have spent a bit of money on ovenware but bought cheap from Sainsburys, my logic being it is not something I'd be serving to guests and it will need to be hardwearing if it's going to be sat in the freezer before going into the oven. All much cheaper and possibly healthier than visiting the pub.

My son has had a really good day at school and played with his friend's group. He couldn't wait to tell me that they wanted him to join in (because he asked to for once!). Also had a great time at my cousin's, I told him that going there after school may occur a lot more next year and he seemed happy with that. Only had chance to fit in a little music practise this evening, though. I also forgot to listen to him read. Remembered after reading to him but he'd fallen to sleep and I thought it unfair to wake him, so we'll have to do it in the morning and I'll write a note to his teacher apologising. Sometimes it doesn't matter how hard you try.

maman

Sounds like LittleK had a brilliant day, delighted for him.

Soup's perfect for freezing Alex . My DH doesn't like soup so I freeze individual portions for my lunch. Home made ready meals are great for when you've had a busy day and the difference is you know exactly what's gone into them.

tootallulah

Re the roofers: having people working on the house is about the only thing in the world that really stresses me. I hate it and I am not surprised that you are finding it tough Alex particularly as you can usually do repairs yourself. I really like the sound of LittleK he takes advice and gives things a whirl - good for him!

misscousinitt

Hi Alex

Great to see the menu planning in action. Regarding the 'ready meal' feeling - you just have to remember that YOU have made them doing all the hard work previously - they are HM ready meals which are far superior to anything shop bought - just because it didn't take you hours to prepare that evening when you just bung them in the oven doesn't mean they are any-less the masterpiece you have created. HM cottage Pies have been a God-send while we have been having the kitchen done - I've just boiled some veg and made gravy while they have whizzed round in the microwave - not ideal but far tastier than anything from the pub!

Good luck with your fridge freezer purchase.

MCI

AlexLK

maman wrote: »

Sounds like LittleK had a brilliant day, delighted for him.

Soup's perfect for freezing Alex . My DH doesn't like soup so I freeze individual portions for my lunch. Home made ready meals are great for when you've had a busy day and the difference is you know exactly what's gone into them.

Thanks, maman.

He's had another good day and I remembered to have him read before bedtime tonight. He was quite the orator, reading to my wife and I in the sitting room. At school he played violin this morning, I accompanied him and my parents came to watch. Whole piece was 100% on point, even my mother and father didn't have a bad word to say. Not heard him play so well before and I'm glad my parents came to watch and supported him.

Your husband dislikes ALL soup?!

Will give the soup freezing a try, then.

tootallulah wrote: »

Re the roofers: having people working on the house is about the only thing in the world that really stresses me. I hate it and I am not surprised that you are finding it tough Alex particularly as you can usually do repairs yourself. I really like the sound of LittleK he takes advice and gives things a whirl - good for him!

I'm glad it's not only me. I think it probably is to do with the fact I usually do all the work myself. Wife says it's relinquishing control over it that is making me stressed, I'm inclined to agree. She is mainly dealing with them and goes up there every evening after they've gone to check work and progress.

My son is usually open to trying new things.

AlexLK

misscousinitt wrote: »

Hi Alex

Great to see the menu planning in action. Regarding the 'ready meal' feeling - you just have to remember that YOU have made them doing all the hard work previously - they are HM ready meals which are far superior to anything shop bought - just because it didn't take you hours to prepare that evening when you just bung them in the oven doesn't mean they are any-less the masterpiece you have created. HM cottage Pies have been a God-send while we have been having the kitchen done - I've just boiled some veg and made gravy while they have whizzed round in the microwave - not ideal but far tastier than anything from the pub!

Good luck with your fridge freezer purchase.

MCI

Thanks, MCI.

Hope all is going well with the kitchen.

I'm hoping I can stick with the meal planning, it all seems a lot easier and I don't spend my days driving to various towns to pick up various food items or deciding I can't face it which leads to the pub meals.

My wife wants one of those Smeg fridge freezers but the one she wants is £1,400. :eek: I was thinking about spending c.£300. :rotfl: