Renovations and Repayments.

AlexLK

maman wrote: »

Sadly being a parent is a battle of wills but you have to help him make the right choices however difficult. It's really not helpful MrsK opting out and leaving it to you. LittleK obviously knows this and also how much you want him to be happy. He's exploiting this knowledge trying hard to get his own way. Well done for staying strong this morning, a bit of 'broken record ' technique is good. You need to talk to MrsK about presenting a united front and dealing with him together /backing each other up whenever possible.
It gets better but it never goes away.

Thanks, maman.

I think I need to start dealing with behaviour in the same way I deal with pupils' behaviour. Just easier said than done. I think my son is trying to test me.

My wife has always been like this.

maman wrote: »

I bet your parents have frequent conversations about what a naughty boy you are! :rotfl:

Seriously?! :rotfl: I'm sure my relationship with my parents has (just about) grew beyond whether or not I can behave myself.

However, had you said you bet my wife had such conversations...

SingleSue wrote: »

I do the same with my niece, she gets given options and is then encouraged to discuss with me what she would like to do and the reasons why one option is better than another (she is 4, never too young I say!). She does try to go outside the options but I steer her back even when she has a mini tantrum over it...Aunty Suzy does not respond to tantrums :rotfl:

Amazingly, she is an angel with me but apparently a complete nightmare for her parents (well her mum anyway)...although I suppose subjecting a very bright 4 year old to daytime telly every day doesn't help. I have strict rules and tight boundaries and when I say no it does actually mean no even if there are screaming ab dabs but she has my attention when needed, I teach her interesting things and above all, we have lots of fun whilst also learning lots of new things.

To be honest, I don't think I have seen such a bright child, it's scary just how intelligent she is and a lot of her behaviour is down to boredom/being dumbed down.

Sounds like you're doing a good job.

I don't tend to go back on my word and am consistent. However, I think I am rather lenient with my son.

SingleSue

I hope I am anyway Alex! Mind you, I have the advantage of already having grown up children and ones who needed tight boundaries. I always laugh when my sister in law goes on about having a nightmare child, she should have seen my middle son before I could start doing my style of parenting (post divorce), anything she does is mild (and a fair bit of it is normal for a 4 year old) compared to him!

My ex husband said the style of parenting I wanted to do (no smacking, no shouting, more proactive rather than reactive, move inclusive rather than dictactorial) was namby pamby and wouldn't give them discipline...I think I have proved otherwise.

maman

AlexLK wrote: »

Thanks, maman.

I think I need to start dealing with behaviour in the same way I deal with pupils' behaviour. Just easier said than done. I think my son is trying to test me.

I know so, it's what children do!!:)


I'd got the impression that your wife has been that way. Maybe I'm being unfair but until relatively recently their only outings together seemed to be to the shops. However things have started to change and you said she has started to enjoy being a mum so maybe it's time for her to extend that into helping with the 'discipline' side of parenting. Meanwhile just encourage them to do things together as much as possible both with you and without. You'll not stop him trying to push boundaries from time to time but you can ensure he's unsuccessful and wasting his time trying to push mum if pushing dad hasn't worked.

AlexLK

Food bought for today, tomorrow and Thursday. Having a terrible day so just went to Sainsburys to buy everything. To be honest, I can see why people do buy everything from the supermarket, it's a lot easier, quicker and more convenient.

SingleSue wrote: »

I hope I am anyway Alex! Mind you, I have the advantage of already having grown up children and ones who needed tight boundaries. I always laugh when my sister in law goes on about having a nightmare child, she should have seen my middle son before I could start doing my style of parenting (post divorce), anything she does is mild (and a fair bit of it is normal for a 4 year old) compared to him!

My ex husband said the style of parenting I wanted to do (no smacking, no shouting, more proactive rather than reactive, move inclusive rather than dictactorial) was namby pamby and wouldn't give them discipline...I think I have proved otherwise.

I try to take a similar approach and hope it works out well in the end.

maman wrote: »

I know so, it's what children do!!:)

I'd got the impression that your wife has been that way. Maybe I'm being unfair but until relatively recently their only outings together seemed to be to the shops. However things have started to change and you said she has started to enjoy being a mum so maybe it's time for her to extend that into helping with the 'discipline' side of parenting. Meanwhile just encourage them to do things together as much as possible both with you and without. You'll not stop him trying to push boundaries from time to time but you can ensure he's unsuccessful and wasting his time trying to push mum if pushing dad hasn't worked.

Yes, certainly seems that way. He's was well behaved this morning with no battle over school.

My wife does as she wishes. At the moment she's not speaking to our son because he's being rather demanding.

AlexLK

Adventures from this afternoon ...

I picked my son up from school as usual for him to tell me he had a good day. Then we went to see a car I was interested in. The car was awful and the owner never stopped smoking... it appears coming away with a nasty cut to to the hand from a rusty hole in the car, smelling of stale cigarette smoke and having shortened your life by about a month from inhaling it for 45 minutes is now all a part of the classic car game. Not what I signed up to and a bit annoyed he found it perfectly acceptable to sit inside a car with a five year old whilst STILL smoking. So, after a shower (really was THAT bad), dinner was prepared despite not feeling like it. First win for the day - not succumbing to a pub meal and eating what was planned.

This evening I prepped two burritos for my wife and I to try for tomorrow's lunch (second win), listened to my son read, sorted out spreadsheets (got to be my third win for the day), read to my son and looked at more cars. Clearly, I never learn. No idea how people have time for TV.

Tomorrow roof prep starts. :eek: Quite pleased I'm not involved but it does seem strange to be paying someone to work on the house.

Nothing to report financially other than I am determined to have no pub meals this week and eat for a reasonable amount of money. We're also trying new things. So far just over £40 has been spent on food and I'm pleased with that.

maman

Ashamed to admit we've been for a pub meal today.
Glad to hear you're sticking with the meal plan. You can do this! Delighted to hear LittleK had a good day at school. Sounds like you'll have to vet owners in future as well as the cars.:eek:

A_Frayed_Knot

Well done, on all your wins for today. Good to hear your organised and determined to spend less on food. Great reading.

Hope all goes well with your roof.

AlexLK wrote: »

My wife does as she wishes. At the moment she's not speaking to our son because he's being rather demanding.

Who is the child here, your son is only 5 years old !!!

AlexLK

Today, overall, has been a success.

Burritos were really good. Thanks to Ed for providing the recipe. I did change it a little but will be making more.

Son had a good day at school again today despite being the only one (from Years R-3) to not be invited to a birthday party. I saw the child's mother at the end of the school day who told me that her son doesn't like my son and doesn't want him there. My son told me that he thought the boy and he got on ok, though. Whilst my son only has a few children to his birthday parties, if we did invite so many I would not have allowed my son to leave one child out. To be honest, whilst the party didn't sound good (cinema and pizza hut), I'm rather irked about this.

maman wrote: »

Ashamed to admit we've been for a pub meal today.
Glad to hear you're sticking with the meal plan. You can do this! Delighted to hear LittleK had a good day at school. Sounds like you'll have to vet owners in future as well as the cars.:eek:

Appalling. :rotfl:

Day 2 of sticking with the meal plan and actually really enjoyed not having to think too much about food as I've been at school. Great day teaching and meeting new pupils. Girl that wants to be a violin teacher has made some seriously impressive progress as of late.

:rotfl: Re. the owners of classic cars, they tend to be a bit of a strange lot. So, I fit in well.

A_Frayed_Knot wrote: »

Well done, on all your wins for today. Good to hear your organised and determined to spend less on food. Great reading.

Hope all goes well with your roof.

Who is the child here, your son is only 5 years old !!!

Thanks, AFK.

I hope so too.

Yes, my wife can be a bit of a "child" herself at times.

ourcornercottage

AlexLK wrote: »

Today, overall, has been a success.

Son had a good day at school again today despite being the only one (from Years R-3) to not be invited to a birthday party. I saw the child's mother at the end of the school day who told me that her son doesn't like my son and doesn't want him there. My son told me that he thought the boy and he got on ok, though. Whilst my son only has a few children to his birthday parties, if we did invite so many I would not have allowed my son to leave one child out. To be honest, whilst the party didn't sound good (cinema and pizza hut), I'm rather irked about this.

I think that is absolutely terrible. Whilst what the mum says may be true and they dont get along (you can't get along with everyone) tbh that is irrelevant. I would never allow my son to leave one person out no matter how much he didn't like them.

Also in life you kind of have to get along with people you dont like its a life lesson.

Dont take it to heart, says more about their family than yours. Explain to LittleLK that everyone wont always get along and take him somewhere brilliant at the same time as the party is on

kelpie35

I am so pleased your son is enjoying school, long may it continue.

What a horrible thing to do to wee boy, I hope it doesn't affect your son's confidence.

In this world there are people who have no feelings for those that are around them. I have a names for people like that, they are either ignorant or very selfish.