Renovations and Repayments.

ourcornercottage

Went to a wedding last night and was chatting with about 7ish parents with kids 5-8 years old including 2 teachers and a head teacher. Mine was the ONLY child who hadn't ever said the hated his mum/dad or said they were the worst mum/dad in the world at least once.

It's totally normal and from our straw poll coincided every time in not getting their own way!

LittleLK is developing quite normally, it's now you handle it that's important as if he's still doing it aged 15 you're in trouble!

newgirly

Hi Alex, I suggested gaming and tv as you said he does not get on with the kids at school yet but likes talking about his hobbies. It was meant as a way of him being able to connect to common interests so he may make friends easier, at five years old friends are hopefully the best thing about school

Don't despair with the comments! It's what you do about it that matters, parenting is often a battle of wills and there are two of you and one of him so you already have the advantage

I let mine have the occasional say in things but mainly it's always been a dictatorship. Let them feel like they are making choices when they are little, you choose dinner tonight - fish or chicken etc. You choose bedtime tonight , 7.30 or 7.15 with a story in bed etc. but that's about all, it's hard enough agreeing with a husband some times without letting the kids take over too :rotfl:

SingleSue

We would have discussions where I presented various options to them, they felt they were in control of their lives but I still had the ultimate control as I only presented options that I was willing to do...just like newgirly really except it also taught them how to negotiate between themselves and agree a way forward so that all were happy/had equal share. If they couldn't agree, mum decided...they soon learned that it was best to come up with something between themselves without fighting about it as I would go for the option that hadn't received any vote!

AlexLK

kelpie35 wrote: »

My son is not a spoilt child at all, we spend very little money on him and he does not get everything he asks for.

My wife didn't really say anything other than to suggest he calmed down. She went into another room and left me to deal with it.

I didn't mean being spoilt by having money spent on him.

I meant that he should really understand that it is not acceptable to speak to parents in that way and that you and your wife should stand firm.

Maybe your wife should have dealt with the incident rather than walk away, but sometimes it is easier said than done.

Pleased that your dad was able to offer advice to your son and maybe that will help your son to see that you are all singing from the same hymn sheet.

I hope your wife will have an enjoyable time with her son on the way to and from his orchestra practice.

Kelpie, he's not done anything like this before.

Whenever he is not behaving himself or upset, he stops being "our" son, becomes "my" son and as far as my wife is concerned it becomes my responsibility to discipline / pick up the pieces.

I was pleased and surprised by my father's good advice.

smallholdingsister wrote: »

Last night I put DS to bed and (as a delaying tactic) He wanted to do the story he had brought from school. I said we would do it tomorrow, and choose one of his tonight and he had a mahoosive tantrum. I told him he wasn't doing real crying and he stopped abruptly, told me he now understood what I meant and was completely fine - all in a few seconds.
He is the same age as Little K.

:rotfl: Yes, that's familiar. My son sometimes behaves like that.

maman wrote: »

Well done grandpa!!:T

Children testing boundaries is perfectly normal. It's how you deal with it that matters. It is difficult to follow through but you have to be consistent and try never to promise anything (good or bad) that you can't deliver on. It'll be the same with classes when you start teaching but X 35!!!

I think all establishments reheat things even if their own chef has cooked it in advance, how else do you imagine they get things like lamb shanks on the table in 15 minutes.

We have a local pub with a board outside advertising locally sourced ingredients.....from Asda, Tesco and Aldi!:rotfl:

P.S. Are you back to Sunday lunch at the big house every week?

Been to see my parents today for business reasons but we did have a nice lunch together with wine ... not had a drink with lunch since I was staying there after mother's fall. Shocking influence. Anyhow, I think father is really trying to turn things around. Still some strange comments about the "old days" but seemed together apart from that. I did ask mother about that and she said he's been like that for a very long time.

Strangely, the classes I teach (30ish x 2 per week) at volunteer school I have no problem with keeping order and managing behaviour. I do with my son though.

Not sure about that re. Tesco, aldi etc. but you're probably right about reheating somethings.

Re. Sunday: not every week.

edinburgher

Can confirm (FIL chef) that all restaurants will reheat/finish dishes to some extent, even ridiculously posh places will have pre-cooked their unicorn steaks sous vide with angel tears and will fry them off to reheat and add a little colour.

newgirly

On no the poor unicorns :eek:

AlexLK

ourcornercottage wrote: »

Went to a wedding last night and was chatting with about 7ish parents with kids 5-8 years old including 2 teachers and a head teacher. Mine was the ONLY child who hadn't ever said the hated his mum/dad or said they were the worst mum/dad in the world at least once.

It's totally normal and from our straw poll coincided every time in not getting their own way!

LittleLK is developing quite normally, it's now you handle it that's important as if he's still doing it aged 15 you're in trouble!

Thank you. I don't really know many other parents.

I thought that was quite normal for a teenager, OCC. :rotfl:

newgirly wrote: »

Hi Alex, I suggested gaming and tv as you said he does not get on with the kids at school yet but likes talking about his hobbies. It was meant as a way of him being able to connect to common interests so he may make friends easier, at five years old friends are hopefully the best thing about school

Don't despair with the comments! It's what you do about it that matters, parenting is often a battle of wills and there are two of you and one of him so you already have the advantage

I let mine have the occasional say in things but mainly it's always been a dictatorship. Let them feel like they are making choices when they are little, you choose dinner tonight - fish or chicken etc. You choose bedtime tonight , 7.30 or 7.15 with a story in bed etc. but that's about all, it's hard enough agreeing with a husband some times without letting the kids take over too :rotfl:

Thanks, NG.

He doesn't really talk to any other children at school, apparently. Not sure finding more things to do would deal with that? He's staying at school this afternoon for baking but whilst I know he'll enjoy it, I doubt he will speak to the others.

Does seem like a battle of wills sometimes. He didn't want to go to school this morning and made a bit of a fuss at home and school. I stuck by my word of him needing to be there and it being very important part of life but I'm finding this rather draining at the moment.

Luckily, my wife is rather passive so far as parenting is concerned, so not hard to disagree with her about this.

SingleSue wrote: »

We would have discussions where I presented various options to them, they felt they were in control of their lives but I still had the ultimate control as I only presented options that I was willing to do...just like newgirly really except it also taught them how to negotiate between themselves and agree a way forward so that all were happy/had equal share. If they couldn't agree, mum decided...they soon learned that it was best to come up with something between themselves without fighting about it as I would go for the option that hadn't received any vote!

I think that likely works well when you have more than one child. Else, who is he negotiating with?

He's usually happy to make good choices and will help me with all kinds of things usually to a good standard. It's just school and his mother taking him to orchestra that he doesn't like. Have to say I did wind my wife up by saying that our son wants me to take him because he knows I'm the better driver. :rotfl:

AlexLK

edinburgher wrote: »

Can confirm (FIL chef) that all restaurants will reheat/finish dishes to some extent, even ridiculously posh places will have pre-cooked their unicorn steaks sous vide with angel tears and will fry them off to reheat and add a little colour.

newgirly wrote: »

On no the poor unicorns :eek:

Looks like I need to reconsider going to the pub when I cannot be bothered to cook.

maman

Sadly being a parent is a battle of wills but you have to help him make the right choices however difficult. It's really not helpful MrsK opting out and leaving it to you. LittleK obviously knows this and also how much you want him to be happy. He's exploiting this knowledge trying hard to get his own way. Well done for staying strong this morning, a bit of 'broken record ' technique is good. You need to talk to MrsK about presenting a united front and dealing with him together /backing each other up whenever possible.
It gets better but it never goes away. I bet your parents have frequent conversations about what a naughty boy you are! :rotfl:

SingleSue

AlexLK wrote: »

I think that likely works well when you have more than one child. Else, who is he negotiating with?

He's usually happy to make good choices and will help me with all kinds of things usually to a good standard. It's just school and his mother taking him to orchestra that he doesn't like. Have to say I did wind my wife up by saying that our son wants me to take him because he knows I'm the better driver. :rotfl:

I do the same with my niece, she gets given options and is then encouraged to discuss with me what she would like to do and the reasons why one option is better than another (she is 4, never too young I say!). She does try to go outside the options but I steer her back even when she has a mini tantrum over it...Aunty Suzy does not respond to tantrums :rotfl:

Amazingly, she is an angel with me but apparently a complete nightmare for her parents (well her mum anyway)...although I suppose subjecting a very bright 4 year old to daytime telly every day doesn't help. I have strict rules and tight boundaries and when I say no it does actually mean no even if there are screaming ab dabs but she has my attention when needed, I teach her interesting things and above all, we have lots of fun whilst also learning lots of new things.

To be honest, I don't think I have seen such a bright child, it's scary just how intelligent she is and a lot of her behaviour is down to boredom/being dumbed down.