Renovations and Repayments.

zcrat41

Hello. I'm new to your diary but just wanted to say you could put a really positive spin on it - working for a family business and running your own business give you brilliantly transferable skills. As does running a home!

smallholdingsister

You could reasonably say "I chose to be a SAHD" and then list the things you have done in addition which you could reasonably describe as several part time jobs. They are not allowed to ask about how you will cope with work and a family.
How many women do you think describe themselves as SAHM when some of that time was when the baby wasn't yet born?
Don't mention little K's age and you don't have an issue.

Honestly Alex they will snap you up and you will probably be a headteacher in three years.

maman

I'm so pleased the holidays are going well for you all as a family Alex. Will MrsK be able to get any leave before the new term starts? Do try to stop worrying about LittleK's return to school. Just treat it as matter of fact and whatever you do don't give him any clues that you'll miss him.


I agree with others that you'll have no problem explain away your career break/change.


Unfortunately I take a very different view about going into teaching and rapid promotion being a walk in the park. I think you should cope fine with a PGCE depending on your placements. Beyond that I think it'll depend what type of school you go into. In my role, I see the effects of the downside of teaching which involves very long hours, massive workload, political interference and often unrealistic targets. Yes, being a musician will be popular as it's a specialist area that many teachers don't feel comfortable with but if you take a job as a class teacher that'll only be a small part of your role. I'd like to think that the government will do something about it to stop teachers continuing to leave in droves but I can't see it happening soon.


I'm sure you've weighed all this up before making your decision but home schooling, your former independent and LittleK's tiny primary really aren't typical of life in primary schools in general. Fortunately you have your current income(s) so that you could be choosey about where you look for a job but, I think, the right school for you will be hugely important.


Hope there's no beef on today's planned menu?;)

AlexLK

zcrat41 wrote: »

Hello. I'm new to your diary but just wanted to say you could put a really positive spin on it - working for a family business and running your own business give you brilliantly transferable skills. As does running a home!

Thank you and welcome. Hopefully, it'll work out.

smallholdingsister wrote: »

You could reasonably say "I chose to be a SAHD" and then list the things you have done in addition which you could reasonably describe as several part time jobs. They are not allowed to ask about how you will cope with work and a family.
How many women do you think describe themselves as SAHM when some of that time was when the baby wasn't yet born?
Don't mention little K's age and you don't have an issue.

Honestly Alex they will snap you up and you will probably be a headteacher in three years.

That is basically true apart from my health issues which I think I'll be obliged to inform them of.

Thank you.

maman wrote: »

I'm so pleased the holidays are going well for you all as a family Alex. Will MrsK be able to get any leave before the new term starts? Do try to stop worrying about LittleK's return to school. Just treat it as matter of fact and whatever you do don't give him any clues that you'll miss him.

Thank you.

Will try not to embarrass myself at the school gates this year, then.

My wife has leave booked during the last two weeks of the holiday and has no plans to go away with friends. She's actually said she's looking forward to being with our son and I.

I'm sorry but I can't stop worrying about him. He doesn't really enjoy school for no other reason than he'd rather be at home.

maman wrote: »

I agree with others that you'll have no problem explain away your career break/change.

Unfortunately I take a very different view about going into teaching and rapid promotion being a walk in the park. I think you should cope fine with a PGCE depending on your placements. Beyond that I think it'll depend what type of school you go into. In my role, I see the effects of the downside of teaching which involves very long hours, massive workload, political interference and often unrealistic targets. Yes, being a musician will be popular as it's a specialist area that many teachers don't feel comfortable with but if you take a job as a class teacher that'll only be a small part of your role. I'd like to think that the government will do something about it to stop teachers continuing to leave in droves but I can't see it happening soon.

I'm sure you've weighed all this up before making your decision but home schooling, your former independent and LittleK's tiny primary really aren't typical of life in primary schools in general. Fortunately you have your current income(s) so that you could be choosey about where you look for a job but, I think, the right school for you will be hugely important.

Hope there's no beef on today's planned menu?;)

Thanks, maman. This all makes sense. My plan is to hopefully work 3 days per week in a small rural school (lots of them locally and a fair amount of jobs come up per year) to begin with (after the PGCE), I'd hope that would allow me to effectively work 5 days (3 in the classroom, 2 at home doing prep / admin etc.) per week. I am not willing to work in an environment that will be detrimental towards my health because I think I'm starting to get that back on track for the first time in many years.

I am quite aware the majority of my time in the classroom would be teaching core skills in literacy and numeracy. Recently I've been researching the curriculum from Reception through to A Level in both Maths and English but focusing on the primary curriculum. This has been useful as a parent but I hope will serve me well when starting a PGCE. I've also read about half of the books on a PGCE reading list. In preparation for teaching Computing, I've studied an online course in programming and have brushed up on my Science knowledge.

I have gained experience in a few state primaries now. Whilst I appreciate this was just experience and not a real job, I gained a lot from it and learned more about which schools may or may not be right for me.

No beef today, though my father called this evening. Apparently, he's disappointed because I am not following his example. :rotfl:

smallholdingsister

You will be obliged to tell them of your health issues but NOT at interview and not until you are asked.

AlexLK

Thanks, smallholding. I hadn't realised that was the case and thought I'd need to disclose such information before the interview stage.

Had a really good day today, the weather has been glorious and I've spent some time on the cars (esp. TR6, getting it ready to sell). Fairly quiet apart from that and Mrs K calling home asking if my son and I would like to go out for lunch near her work! She's away from tomorrow until Thursday evening, so it was really nice to spend a bit of time together at lunchtime.

Have just finished sorting out the finances for the week. It's not looking great and I think we're only going to be able to make a £250 OP this month. To be honest, I can't say I care too much because we're having a good summer.

AlexLK

Decided to have a day off the car prep / declutter today and take my son to Clumber park. Was a bit of a drive with the sun out and the roof down and we had a brilliant time. Thank you to the person who suggested taking my son there to me.

My mother came over to my house tonight to try to get me to make amends with father and talk about the fact that my father is getting no younger and that I am going to have to "face the responsibility" of having older parents who "need some company" (basically, me living there). Apparently, she is concerned my father is suffering from depression and that is my fault. From my own experience I don't think he is actually suffering from depression but I have offered to take him to his doctor (he doesn't let my mother take him, I have to do it because she "asks questions"). :mad: Recently, I've gone from wanting to do everything I can for them to feeling rather annoyed when I speak to one / both of them. I know it's not good and they are my parents.

Debsnewbudget

Stay strong Alex
Offering support does NOT mean moving in with them

A_Frayed_Knot

You seem to be doing just fine. Offering support is fine, eg a lift to the GP's, they are your parents after all.

But just remember how well you are doing, having less contact with them, you are having fun, enjoying life, having lunches with DW and DS and selling cars :eek: and decluttering and o/p, and talk of getting the roof fixed, Oh and the big bonus - sleeping better, well actually sleeping, not sure if that's the lavender or not, you never said if you ever got round to buying some

maman

Delighted to hear that the lovely summer continues. Lovely idea to meet up with MrsK for lunch the other day too. Hope you have some good plans for her leave time.:)

AlexLK wrote: »

Recently, I've gone from wanting to do everything I can for them to feeling rather annoyed when I speak to one / both of them. I know it's not good and they are my parents.

I think it's quite normal to feel like that as the balance of responsibility changes over time. I experienced much the same with my own mother in her later years. It's as if you become the adult and they become the child which feels very odd.


If you use your relationship with LittleK as an analogy then you'd love him no matter what but be adult/responsible enough not to let him behave badly because you're the adult and he's the child.


Similarly you'd see through LittleK immediately if he was trying to manipulate you or get his own way by devious means such as trying to get a day off sick with a tummy ache because you'd told him off. What you'd do is offer to take him to the doctor! Which is exactly what you've done with your father.;)


This has gone far past the waiting for an apology from your father for his behaviour. Even if that was forthcoming (which it might if they get desperate for their own way) then you must remain in control. Some short focused visiting on your own terms (like a coffee, a discussion about the business, a walk with the dog) will be possible when term starts but definitely no moving in or spending evenings there when you should be in your own home.


Stay strong. You've far too much to lose by giving in now.:A