should i move back home?

BitterAndTwisted

One thing you do need to get sorted before you return home is precisely how much you should pay your Mam for housekeeping. As an adult and a graduate you cannot expect your Mam to susidise you. And if you're paying your way there's no scope for resentment in that department.

Plus, of course, a chat about the b/f and whether he would be welcome to stay over or not.

itsanne

glamrochick wrote: »

yeah true that is a hard one with my boyfriend cos used to him staying over here.. yeah me and mum have rowed a bit and i needed some space.. i could save upand get a nice flat in manc.. mum seems fine with that, said at least can rent something decent.. a nice modern place.. would pay mum a bit of money for having me, but no need to pay bills or anything

I'm in the find a job first camp, but have a couple of questions for you to think about.

If you rowed and needed space before, why would it be different now? You really need to think that one through if it is to work.

Why wouldn't your boyfriend be able to stay over at your mum's? That's not the same as bringing random one night stands back.

Where does your boyfriend live? How would moving affect your relationship?


Remember that you won't be returning to the uni life whatever you do. It's important to bear that in mind or you'll feel dissatisfied wherever you are.

glamrochick

Couldn't have guys over full stop and wouldnt want to at mums anyway.. he lives in manchester near me.. wants to get his own place once got his job sorted.. training to be a gas engineer and once trained would like his own business. different cos then was stuck at home all day so if i went to work be good cos be out all day.. then not under each others feet all the time.. i wouldnt move home until got a job sorted

TheEffect

I graduated last July (Dorset) and moved back to my mums (London). I got a full-time job in September. I've found it extremely difficult living with a parent after being independent, however it's a great time to pay off debts (student overdrafts, credit cards) and save money. I see this is a short-term plan looking towards the future. I hope by the end of this year, I'll be debt free, have some money in the bank, and move out again, while looking for a better job.

If your parent/parents are happy for you to stay, I'd take them up on the offer, if only for 6-12 months. It's going to be one of the only times in your life where you'll have a large portion of your salary spare each month.

glamrochick

very true. i like that advice.. can buy things easier too. and put quite a bit away to save too.. id give it to mum to put away every month.. it is hard after uni cos you arent as independent.. mums dont seem to understand that

TheEffect

glamrochick wrote: »

very true. i like that advice.. can buy things easier too. and put quite a bit away to save too.. id give it to mum to put away every month.. it is hard after uni cos you arent as independent.. mums dont seem to understand that

It also depends on each person's circumstances. I (shamefully) owed £7k in overdrafts/credit card debt when I left university last July. I didn't have much choice but to move back in with my mum, however I'll be debt free on 15th June this year. I've given myself from June-October/November to save as much as possible, then I plan to move out.

If I was debt free, I'd have only been at my parent's house a few months.

You live and learn.

glamrochick

very true.. im not in debt which is good.. only student loan from uni and not in threshold to pay that back yet

victor2

itsanne wrote: »

Why wouldn't your boyfriend be able to stay over at your mum's? That's not the same as bringing random one night stands back.

Have one DD who thinks like that and one who doesn't argue about it, even though she lives with her boyfriend of 7 years.
However, both observe our wishes. It's called respect.

glamrochick

yeah i know.. its hard to respect cos im an adult.. be good if he gets his own place but needs to save and theres some nice flats i could rent if save up a while

victor2

glamrochick wrote: »

yeah i know.. its hard to respect cos im an adult.. be good if he gets his own place but needs to save and theres some nice flats i could rent if save up a while

Should be easier because you're an adult... Will help avoid arguments along the lines of:
"I'm an adult, I can do what I like."
"Not under my b****y roof!"

Much as we love our DD's, couldn't live with them.