Should you look after your girlfriend's daughter.

StuC75

You have a warped imagination as to what dancing in a bay would involve.. Some nightclub employ dancers to dance say on a podium, not to strip and not to perform sex acts..

What kind of night clubs do you frequent to think that dancers are giving a live sex show??

The OP has not stated that its a strip bar / lap dancing bar / hooters type place (at worst), and you are making it out to be a brothel..

j.e.j. wrote: »

Taking off (most of) your clothes and dancing for men in a bar is working in the sex industry. But I think you're right, - a DRB check would only show up something illegal, which bar dancing of course isn't.



It's adviseable to be cautious when thinking of a career working in teaching, or working with children.

Even if you have a job, there is always a chance your past could catch up with you. As well as the embarrassment and potential for staffroom gossip, it can have a drastic impact on your career.


Anyway, I don't know if the OP actually said that she wants to be a teacher? As far as I can tell she just wants to work in a night-club as a bar-maid. Still not an ideal job, given the hours and lifestyle, but not quite as bad as her old job as a bar dancer.

jjj1980

As a single mother myself, I think the op did the right thing in saying no.

The child's mother should not be even considering asking him to shoulder the responsibility of caring for her child, even if they do eventually end up living together.

Jagraf

jjj1980 wrote: »

As a single mother myself, I think the op did the right thing in saying no.

The child's mother should not be even considering asking him to shoulder the responsibility of caring for her child, even if they do eventually end up living together.

My DD stepdad shoulders just as much responsibility and we work together to make things the best we can for all. She has a fab relationship with her and he has given her stability.

j.e.j.

StuC75 wrote: »

You have a warped imagination as to what dancing in a bay would involve.. Some nightclub employ dancers to dance say on a podium, not to strip and not to perform sex acts..

What kind of night clubs do you frequent to think that dancers are giving a live sex show??

The OP has not stated that its a strip bar / lap dancing bar / hooters type place (at worst), and you are making it out to be a brothel..

Sorry, but what posts have YOU been reading?? You criticize me for reading too much into things. Quite ironic, that..

mrsHall2b

I read the title and said YES! you choose to be with her + child.. then i read the actual post. You arnt living together so at that age (same age as my eldest) if she woke up over night she will want her mum, it will confuse her getting up to someone else (even someone she knows) during the night children are very vulnerable and disorientated so adding in someone who isnt usually there at night time will panic the child.

and on another note
me & OH have been together 3years, living together for 2 & half years, and have a 21 month old daughter together (aswell as my 3.5 year old) In december i went to london for a movie premier, i left early monday morning, and got the last train home getting back to my house at 8am the next morning. I left my eldest with her own dad and my youngest with my OH. I didnt even consider asking OH to have eldest over night as without me there i would worry about her too much wanting me. even though OH regularly gets up at night times to resettle her and has been part of her life since she was 4 months old ish.

(lack of capitals as my 21 month old pulled the key off, and im waiting for OH to fix it or get a new keyboard)

Jagraf

mrsHall2b wrote: »

I read the title and said YES! you choose to be with her + child.. then i read the actual post. You arnt living together so at that age (same age as my eldest) if she woke up over night she will want her mum, it will confuse her getting up to someone else (even someone she knows) during the night children are very vulnerable and disorientated so adding in someone who isnt usually there at night time will panic the child.

and on another note
me & OH have been together 3years, living together for 2 & half years, and have a 21 month old daughter together (aswell as my 3.5 year old) In december i went to london for a movie premier, i left early monday morning, and got the last train home getting back to my house at 8am the next morning. I left my eldest with her own dad and my youngest with my OH. I didnt even consider asking OH to have eldest over night as without me there i would worry about her too much wanting me. even though OH regularly gets up at night times to resettle her and has been part of her life since she was 4 months old ish.

(lack of capitals as my 21 month old pulled the key off, and im waiting for OH to fix it or get a new keyboard)

Whereas I didn't worry at all about leaving my 3 year old with her stepdad - I suppose it depends on the mother and child rather than whether its right or wrong. If he regularly gets up in the night to settle her, would she even know you weren't there?

RockOnZombies

When I do stay over it tends to be when her child is at her Dad's so I don't really get involved in settling her at night as the gf doesn't want to confuse her.

As some on here have suggested it's working in the sex industry dancing, it's not, its just dancing on a podium in a regular night club, although all those comments did make me laugh :rotfl:

But thanks for all the comments they have helped when we've talked about it and she can see my point of view that it's not really the best choice of job even in the short term when she's still needed overnight sometimes by her daughter.

Cheers
R.O.Z