The Garden Fence - help and support in tough times

moneyistooshorttomention

Agreed that the "favourites" at work tend to be those that arent perceived as a threat by a supervisor.

Either because they are "as thick as pig poo" or worse-looking than the supervisor or suchlike. If you're as intelligent and attractive (or more so) than the supervisor = you're the one that tends to get in trouble for no good reason in my experience and it's because you are perceived as a threat by them.

Try and take it as a compliment. That's the attitude I came round to in the end personally:cool:

Floss

Karcher I'm another one to agree - I was bullied out of a job I was very good at by my line manager who was best mates with one of my team (not a good start!). I would agree that your line manager should be involved, f only to follow your company's processes

ivyleaf

TiredTrophy wrote: »

A bit late...but Flanders poppies come up in disturbed ground, so you need to rake over the ground where the seeds dropped a bit. ..might be a bit late now...but the seed stay viable for many years , just waiting for you to turn a bit of soil over and expose them to light.

Thank you so much! As you say, it might be a bit late now, but I'll give it a go. We don't have a proper rake, I wonder if the lawn rake will do now that the soil's been rained on. Soon find out!

Will be thinking of you today karcher. I think you've had very good advice from others on here x

MMF007

I am usually found on the Kon Marie thread (the magic of tidying) but had to post here re Karcher and others who are or have been bullied. I was bullied and a colleague actually left without a job to go to because the same bully targeted her. I stuck it out but it was hard, very hard. I got to the point where i had to say to myself, everyday, that I could resign at any time so just to push through this day. That helped, having an exit in mind, rather than just feeling trapped.
The bully, as they are, was very devious and very clever and the manager did not believe he could do any wrong AND would not have been able to handle the disciplinary process anyway.

Amazingly the bully eventally plcked on a close friend of the manager and then things escalated! External consultant was brought in, the guy was told he should resign (with a financial inducement, can you believe??), the manager was moved and the team thrived at last.
I took additional professional qualifications, worked there 10 more years, brought home some great projects and took redundancy at a time that suited me Oh, and i got a bigger pay off than the bully, so there!

Yes, the bully was clearly a very unhappy guy. It was a shame because he was clever, witty and could have achieved positive things. Who knows why a person 'goes off the rails' but some do. We just have to maintain our professional pride and our caring nature.

Hope you don't mind me butting in, i just wanted to offer a bit of support to a hard working, capable person. As monno said, just smile to yourself inside, you are happy than the bully andmyou always will be.

TiredTrophy

Re-poppies....don't break the rake! Just try to see some bare earth, slightly broken through....and hopefully you'll get a lovely late crop.

I was bullied out of work. I think my line manager tried to protect me but it was coming from above him. I don't work now.

juliettet

My two-pennworth Karcher having been in a similar situation is Monna is right. What helped me was to write a diary of the day before I went home and I had a sense of leaving it there. IYKWIM??

It does resolve itself but hang on.

FairyPrincessk

Afternoon all,

Just having a post gym coffee before I get back to work. OH has been busy working on pre-moving chores on his week off and I've been..well. Working. Still, I'm onto a mostly normal timetable this week after the last few weeks of 7 to 6, so that is something!

Karcher that sounds awful. I like Juliettet's suggestion (actually I may save that idea if I'm even in a similar situation again). I often turn to my American southern roots in similar situations and turn on the saccharine overly sweet, innocent and apologetic charm. Nothing is too much to ask, I apologize profusely for the slightest non-issue and make sure my eyes are big and round while I do it. I then head straight to my closest non-work friends and have a nice good and nasty rant. I find trying to contrast my behavior with theirs just makes it all the more obvious how ridiculous they're being--if not to them then to everyone else! Of course the bully usually doesn't stop, but confrontation usually isn't on the table so I like to flatter myself that while they smell of pig poo I smell of roses.;) Try to be nice to yourself outside of work though, it will be wearing no matter what you do.

I've just bought myself snacks for Friday on the way home as I'm not sure if I will get a lunch break. This morning I tried on my full outfit to make sure there were no issues morning of. I did notice I have marks from my shoes on my tights. They're my most comfortable pair of fancy tights. A second wash didn't seem to sort it out. I think it is dye transfer from my shoes as it outlines perfectly the edge of the shoes I usually wear with them (yes I wash them!). I'll try a different soap, otherwise I'll just put them on extra carefully and make sure the marks line up with my shoes--there is nothing that irritates me more than uncomfortable tights and my others are all from the same pack and a bit small! Of course if anyone has any magic tricks for getting dye transfer out of tights I'd be grateful!

Monna, I hope you survived the baking. Pickle sounds wonderful.

Baked sweet potatoes topped with chilli hummus, leftover chorizo and cheese for tea with salad. I had leftover picnic salad, a sausage roll, toast and cheese for lunch with some carrot batons and OH had soup and whatever else he found lurking for lunch--the cupboards are getting there!

Right, back to work for me. Hugs to all who need them and sorry for my extended essay!xx

karcher

Wow, just been catching up.

Thank you all. What a caring supportive bunch you are :A

I've not been home long and need to catch my breath but I will be back, I just wanted to say a heartfelt thank you x

silvasava

All I can say Karcher after all the good advice on here is - we've got your back so saddle up the elephant!!!

mardatha

Ah. The elephant. Hmmm. Well..............
Ok there might be a wee problem there :o
It's sort of in my freezer
Well I was on an economy drive, just trying to be MS and I thought it wasn't needed any more!