The Garden Fence - help and support in tough times

karcher

Evening Fencers, hope you are all well and enjoying your weekend.

Sunday night work woes here. I enjoy my job and take pride in my work but the last few months have been made miserable by the very difficult, often aggressive person overseeing us (he's not my direct employer, isn't necessarily experienced in my line of work and his role is unpaid)

I'm unsure how to handle it as it is a complicated situation but I can't cope with the way he speaks to me at times and I often come home upset, stressed and close to tears. It's doubly upsetting because I enjoy what I do, I work bloody hard, have years of experience and qualifications, whilst my co-worker who is lazy, incompetent and couldn't care less, is just left to his own devices

Sorry to moan fencers, it's just really getting me down as I can see no solution. I can't approach the higher rank as he fully supports the person in question.

I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place, but leaving is not an option...and tbh I don't want to, just wish I knew how to deal with this

ivyleaf

That sounds lovely, Lyn. I haven't looked at the other thread yet but I hope you enjoyed the rugby

karcher Just seen your post. That sounds a really horrible situation to be stuck in. Does he know he's being so aggressive, or is it possible he thinks he's just being assertive? Is he having a go at you and leaving your colleague in peace just because you're a woman?

Do you belong to a union? If so, speak to your union rep. If not, maybe ring ACAS to see if they can offer any advice?
So sorry you're having to put up with this

TiredTrophy

A bit late...but Flanders poppies come up in disturbed ground, so you need to rake over the ground where the seeds dropped a bit. ..might be a bit late now...but the seed stay viable for many years , just waiting for you to turn a bit of soil over and expose them to light.

greenbee

Karcher - post on the employment board for advice. But I'd suggest speaking to your line manager. Not complaining, but asking for advice on how to deal with this, and more importantly - support. Your employer should not put up with their employees being treated like this.

monnagran

Karcher, I have just written a long post and deleted it. Too personal and too interfering.
Just know that we hate what you are going through and that we care about you and are here when you need to unload.

x

greenbee

monna - your posts usually contain a great deal of good sense. I'm not sure whether this is due to your self-censorship, or whether you are depriving us of your wisdom this time.

monnagran

I don't know about good sense, Greenbee, but I've lived a long time and had what you may call an 'interesting' life and have always been fascinated by what makes people tick.
The post in question was definitely self-censored. I read it through and suddenly thought, "Who do you think you are writing these things? How presumptuous!"

So I sent it into nowhere. I am a little too keen on dispensing home-spun wisdom.
However the gist of it was that I think the aggressive supervisor is probably inadequate and out of his depth. Karchers co-worker, being a useless waste of space, is obviously no threat to him, whereas Karcher, hard working, knowledgeable and competent, shows him up to be very second class. In short he is horribly jealous of Karcher and has to try to make Karcher look bad to make himself feel better.
I'm sure I expressed it a bit more elegantly than that. Some people are like that, they have to be the best, the centre of attention, superior and woe betide anyone who steals a bit of their limelight or exposes their inadequacies. They have to be cut down to size and punished. It seems that Karcher is being bullied by an ignorant, inferior scared schoolboy disguised as an adult.
I don't know if it helps to know who you are dealing with or not, but there is my twopennorth.
Karcher, regard him as a specimen. See if you can identify the bluster and feel very, very proud and quietly superior. You can never win with someone like that so self preservation and silent amusement are your best forms of defence.

I am writing this in the middle of a terrific thunderstorm. It is right overhead and spectacular. The rain is lashing the windows and it's not looking good for the Fayre (shudders) tomorrow.
I have made 6 dozen cookies of various types and flavours and a couple of dozen cheese scones that have emerged slightly overcooked but don't look too bad in their cellophane bags. So that lot should get a tile for the Village Hall roof.

Now I am going to try to get some sleep.

x

karcher

Thank you Monna, I think you have summed up my 'Supervisor' very succinctly. I will add more later but just now I need to get ready for work...Your words will be with me throughout the day and I shall do my best to aim for 'self preservation and silent amusement'.

Thank you again xx

ETA I've been awake since the early hours but had no internet connection or I would have waxed lyrical..maybe lucky for you all that I didn't x

camelot1001

I fully agree with you monna. karcher, you wouldn't feel the way you do if you weren't a hard working, caring person.

The sunshine of the last few days is having a rest, overcast skies and occasional drizzle. At least I got all the washing dried yesterday and the grass had a trim.

I'm feeling quite sad today, my best friend who now lives in Oz was here for the weekend and we had the best time. I think it's not knowing when we will meet up again that's the problem. Maybe I should book a big holiday!

Hard_Up_Hester

Power to your elbow Karcher,I agree with Monna, (I'd be scared not to) my current team leader has 'favourites' two people in the team who can do no wrong despite not being good at their respective jobs and get preferential treatment. There are currently 8 of us in the team but I work in a different room to the others. I mainly get left alone (ignored and left out at times). Another team member has been very hurt and upset at the constant criticism and snide comments. I took her to one side and pointed out to her what the 2 favourites have in common, they are both as thick as pig poo and are no threat to the team leader. Those of us that do not fit the criteria are constantly belittled, we are the ones who have run business's been PA's to people in big business's etc. I may be talking complete ballrocks, but it cheered up my colleague no end.