The Garden Fence - help and support in tough times

nursemaggie

If you decide to go kittie we will all be with you in spirit.

elona

kittie

Whatever you decide we will be with you.

ivyleaf

Thinking of you kittie, sending you gentle (((HUGS))). May you soon know what's best for you to do xx

pollyanna_26

Kittie Some years ago we faced a similar situation . Both physically and emotionally it was too difficult . After much heart searching we visited their favourite place of all which was a cathedral . They were not religious in the conventional sense but for many years found peace and inner joy just wandering around inside and looking at the beauty of their surroundings . We lit candles , talked of our memories and even laughed over shared past events . It was just my youngest and I .
We were approached by a member of the clergy who was gentlest and kindest man I have ever met . We left with a great feeling of peace and acceptance and it felt we had done the right and fitting thing .
I wonder if there is a special place loved by you and your husband sil and brother . Somewhere you all spent time together with good memories ? Perhaps it may help you move forward from the two severe losses of the past year .
I also agree with Mar , A lovely candle can help with healing .
As a footnote some time after we saw the news of the new Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby . There was our kind and gentle man whose name had escaped us at the time .
Take care Kittie and do what your instinct tells you .
polly

Softstuff

Not sure what to say Kittie, such a difficult time for you to have to face this also. Sending love and hoping you can make the right decision for you.

Floss

Thinking of you Kittie. I quite understand your feelings of uncertainty about attending, I know my DH would find it difficult to go to a funeral right now following those of his parents in October & January.

I think Polly's suggestion is one to consider if it is possible, it would be a respectful way to mark the passing of all those loved ones.

May your siblings and you find peace through whatever gives it to you, whether expected or not.

Floss xx

fuddle

In times of such immense sadness I think intuition of what we must do to keep ourselves coping in the here and now kicks in. I do truly believe that the intuition decides for you based on what keeps you comfortable. I think you'll know what is right for you.

I just want to put something forward... how can you regret a decision made in a period of dispair? Personally I don't think you can. Our minds are such wonderful things. They protect, support, guide and in my experience they help you 'forget' periods of reality that hurt the most.

Whatever it is that you do, it will be what is needed and what is best for you. In grief I just don't think there is such a place for social norms, traditions or expectations because everyone is dealing with different things. Kittie it's an immensely sad situation for on lookers... I can only imagine the wrangle of upset you're dealing with now and in the coming days.You do what is right for you because in the situation you face I don't think mind will allow you to feel anything negative about what you decide to do to keep yourself coping... because mind decides that for you

Thinking of you and I'm so so sorry that life tipped an unbearable amount of sadness ontop of you.

ivyleaf

Oh fuddle, what a lovely post I hope it helps our kittie at such a hard time.

silvasava

Kittie - can't add anything other than heartfelt support for you at this time xx

moneyistooshorttomention

Quick question for the day - and wondering if anyone knows the answer to it please:

I'm not a great tv watcher - so go through the weekly TV Guide and decide on any that take my fancy at the beginning of the week.....and then it often doesn't work out when I dial up the channel concerned (ie that's not the programme that is actually playing). Reason being - my tv guide is a national one and I'm now in Wales and sometimes the channel shows a different programme here to the one advertised.

I know that to get Channel 4 I just input for Channel 8 on my Freeview set-up instead. As inputting "4" will give me the Welsh tv channel instead. I shall be getting a new tv soon - so presume I can just get the tv guy to change that so I automatically get "Channel 4" when I put in "4".

I've not figured what to do about the others though. Two nights in a row I've decided to watch something on BBC2 and got an alternative programme coming up that the Welsh BBC2 is having instead (which often seems to be a sport one - and I don't have the slightest interest in sport). Yesterday's "Sea Cities" on from 7-8pm turned out to be a snooker programme here for instance.

I've got round that to date by watching any programmes I particularly wanted to see the following day on I-player on my computer. Obviously - I'd rather watch the programme I've decided on at the time though. So - is there a number I can input on my Freeview set-up that will give me the "standard" BBC2 programmes instead of the Welsh BBC2 programmes iyswim?