The Garden Fence - help and support in tough times

monnagran

Well, I survived........Just. The meal was excellent but I am not used to eating a big meal in the evening and my digestive system is certainly letting me know what it thinks of such debauchery. Remember that word Hester, you might find it useful.

Loved your story about phone sex. D'you want one of mine? Well never mind that, you're going to get it anyway.

Picture the scene. Classroom just before school begins in earnest. Yours truly is mentally preparing to impart to eager nine year-olds the pearls of her
wisdom.
Enter excited little girl....."Mrs C. I know what a pervert is."
Mrs C blenches.
"Oh. Really? How do you know that."
"My Daddy told me."
Mrs C relaxes, knowing the Daddy in question is fairly crazy.
"Go on then. What is a pervert."
"He is a man who eats children."

Slightly stunned silence. Another little girl says thoughtfully, "Oh. I thought that men who eat people were called cannon balls.

It's probably time I went back to sleep.

x

mardatha

Been quiet but still catching up. Loving Shetland Pollyanna- but is anybody following the plot? cos I am lost, but still loving it. Was always my dream to see Shetland but not goin to happen now, so this is the next best thing. Plus Jimmy Perez is quite tasty, if he would shave lol.
Many thanks to MrsL who has taught me how to make egg custard yaaay! which i had read about in old cookbooks but had no idea was so nice and diabetic-friendly. Now the RV can have pudding!
I'm struggling a wee bit with the ME just now and the bloody weather - but at least the year is heading the right way and we can hope for a proper Spring ... last 2 years were absolutely horrible and cold. I think some places down south ar having 14 this weekend and we're stuck on 4 lol

ivyleaf

Yes, definitely milder down here mar - I'm wearing a v-neck jumper and no vest! Rather than a vest and a high-necked chunky sweater (and this in a house with central heating).

Sorry it's so cold up there though Roll on Spring.

Hester and monnagran Thank you for making me

kittie Thinking of you xx

silvasava

Mardatha & Polly - I'm hooked on Shetland too and we've got to wait for a fortnight for the last episode !!!
How good is the actress who's playing Tosh too. DH & I were just discussing over a cuppa this morning how its all going to get tied up in the last episode.
Glad you've found something else for the RV to eat Mardatha - I love egg custard, real comfort food.
Monna - heard a tale of a youngster who asked her Mum what STD was - after carefully explaining to a child who looked increasingly puzzled she asked why she wanted to know. The child said Well, it's written on the egg box.
I'll go now

lillibet_dripping

Well, if we're telling funny stories.....
My daughter, when aged about 12, was following a conversation about dogs. She proudly announced that, when she was grown up, she was going to get a Durex dog. When we had all stopped howling, we realised she had mixed up Dulux with Andrex!!

MrsCD

Ok, here's mine.
When our girls were small, there was an old chap at church who had misplaced his false teeth. Our youngest said to her sister, '' Maybe he put them under his pillow and the tooth fairy has taken them.'' I'm not sure if they ever turned up, so she might have been right!

pollyanna_26

Good morning Fencers . Loving the funny stories nothing like a giggle to start another damp , dull and miserable day . It does seem a little warmer here in the nw , so hopefully we may be turning the corner to spring .
Well done to MAR on her egg custards ! I confess if I take my eyes off the screen for a second I struggle to make sense of shetland - fibro fog doesn't help as I'm confused.com at the best of times . However like you the important bits are the scenery and the leading man .
I have been watching Dickension since Christmas and that has been a nightmare . Shown sometimes one episode a week , twice in an evening with another programme in between and recently one episode twice a week . The final episode is tea time tomorrow !
As it was on during my super virus I have missed the plot often . Not at all OS but I have ordered the dvd to start again
I hope it brightens up for all from the far north to the extreme south .have a good weekend .
polly

[Deleted User]

See MAR you can too cook!!! easy isn't it?

We're also enjoying Shetland and vaguely keeping up with the story line but it jumps about between many strands, it will probably make a good tapestry picture by the end of the last episode though and we'll all say Oh yes, that's what it was. They're well written though and the 'Vera' series also we're enjoying but the last one 'The Moth Trap' was a little confusing as there seemed to be no reason for the moth traps that were part of the story or did I miss something early on?

elona

We were on a family holiday in Amsterdam and youngest was around eight. She had a notebook on what we had done and asked DH "How do you spell psychopath ?" He told her and I had a fit when I read it later. The sentence read "There are a lot of psychopaths in Amsterdam!":eek:

After a bit of questioning about why she had written that and how she knew that she said "Well it says so" pointing around her.

At that point the penny dropped - cycle paths!

[Deleted User]

It's a grey day here in the south, not wet just grey and cold and dull. He Who Knows is servicing the mower and the rotavator and has just rotavated the polytunnel. We'll be cleaning the outside of the polytunnel this morning too, not as daunting as it sounds because that always seems to herald the planting of seeds season and that means spring on the distant horizon. I've been through the house, done the ironing and some mending and cleared and laid up the wood stove for later on. Missing my Cookie walks as she is staying with her grandparents for this last bit of half term to free up the family for a couple of days out but hopefully she will be walking with us tomorrow. The weather is decidedly upsy downsy this year, our daffs which started to open their eyes to the world a few weeks ago are no further out under the hedge but the magnolia tree in the garden across the road seems to be in full bud and will soon be open flowers. I'm really looking forward to the world being a little warmer and could use a dose of gentle sunshine at the moment but at least it's dry so I can't really complain can I?