The Garden Fence - help and support in tough times

fuddle

For me it's about cutting the cloth accordingly. If there's money to afford a treat then it's not an issue. When there isn't enough for a treat then the feelings of needing it or deserving it can become an issue.

Take those knitting mags a few weeks ago. I was down, had been through a lot of stuff and spent a couple of £ on a mag that I felt I really needed to give me a boost. It did,It worked but I had little food in the cupboard from the upheaval and affording Christmas and little in my purse because of the same reasons.

Should I have bought it? No, it wasn't a priority at all. Did I feel I deserved it? Yes, I felt beaten enough to feel that I had done a blooming good job to stay in healthy mind while sorting a lot of stuff out over the past months.

I now realise that Polly was right and they aren't worth the money and have stopped buying them but do I regret those first couple of purchases? Not a chance I don't. I haven't bought a magazine for the past 6 years and utilise so many frugal ways that I have no guilt over this treat to myself at a time when the money could have been better utilised.

I think people 'treat' themselves to every day objects. For example, in the coming months I will be treating myself to a kitchen composter. Hardly a treat, but it feels like it as it's something I really want... but don't really need.

candygirl

Glad you're going for what's rightfully yours HESTER When I divorced my ex many moons ago, he joined the forces, told them he had no dependants and stopped paying maintenance for our Daughter :mad: I got in touch with his employer, who was livid on our behalf, and he had to show them his bank statement every month to prove he was paying :rotfl:
Re angel tops, i'm sure Mum used to dress me in them

silvasava

Monna - many similarities - although my ex isn't being housed by the state he is in very poor health. The nasty side of my nature gives thanks that I don't have to look after him but as we all know we dont know what's round the corner for any of us in life.
Indulgence/treat - hmm not sure there's much difference, although I think a treat is something small whereas an indulgence is somewhat larger/ more expensive. For me a treat is a cuppa in bed on a miserable day, something tasty & homemade but my indulgence at the moment is my little boat - not necessary but gives great pleasure (at times!) & DH has his trike that he's spent hours building - but do these also come under hobbies???

Softstuff

Hester, I wish you every success going after what's yours. We're all here cheering you on. And if he does start to try and bully you, we'll set Mardatha on him (we'll tell her he's stolen your jelly babies). I lost out to my ex, so like many here am right behind you.


Pollyanna, we only have rain and thunderstorms right now, and I don't think you lot need more of those! As for the food, if salad would have survived the trip, I would have sent some. Everything else is in the freezer and will be eaten through the week. I'll try then to put $50 in the Christmas pot.

MrsLW, we try hard here to keep some things just as rare treats, otherwise we don't value them as much (fruit juice, drinks other than tea or water, choccy bars, meals out). Other things sneak in and become regular items because they make us happy, but I reassess these every so often. If something is reduced to $1 from $20 and we'll like it, it tends to come home with me. When I think about it, we live such a ridiculously indulgent life, temperature controlled, choice of food, selection of entertainment, that every day has "treats ", but we live very much within our budget.

Mardatha, broccoli is good steamed with a few toasted almonds and a bit of olive oil on. We tend to stir fry a lot, so just chuck it in that, with oyster sauce, garlic, soy and ginger... but don't think that'd suit RV.

Glad poorly pup is home Zippy.

MrsCD

Just caught up from the last couple of days.

A treat for us is something like going out for a special meal.
It's different things to different people, I suppose.

The goose 'grease' brought back memories of being plastered with the stuff when I was little if I had a cough or a cold. :eek:
Poor man's Vicks I think!

Softstuff

MrsCD wrote: »

The goose 'grease' brought back memories of being plastered with the stuff when I was little if I had a cough or a cold. :eek:
Poor man's Vicks I think!

Used to be the poor mans version, but having seen how much it goes for here, homebrand vicks looks like the cheaper option :rotfl:

camelot1001

Good on you HH, you go for it.

Treat or indulgence? I always think a treat is something that is over with quickly like a chocolate bar but an indulgence lasts a little longer (new clothes, perfume).

If you can afford it and it makes you happy then why not? I think the danger is when it doesn't make you happy.

monnagran

Softstuff: I'm not up yet (sheer indulgence after a lifetime of being up and doing by 6.00am) but I am lying here thinking of potatoes roasted in Vick. The trendy restaurants would go for it.

x

Floss

HH will be behind you all the way.

Candy, my ex had to go to HR and sign for a letter from the CSA telling him that they would be taking his maintenance direct from his salary (he tried to dodge by lying about his living arrangements). I hope it was more than a little embarrassing as the HR manager reported to him.

candlelight_2013

Lyn, with regard to treat or indulgence, I think our treat to ourselves is to go out for a meal occasionally, but usually take the family as well.

I have a treat for myself, which perhaps many would say was an indulgence, in that I have my nails done once a month. This goes back many years to when I was working, Because of the job I did I was expected to look well groomed and my hands were always on show. I have big hands (like my Mum) but short fingers so having my nails done made me feel better about myself.

I hardly wear any makeup but I like perfume but wait to be given it as a present.

Himself has clothes, so he tells me:) that he has had for 20 years. more like 10, but smokes (Oh how I wish he wouldn't) so I suppose thats his indulgence. He doesn't smoke much, and never a whole cigarette at once, but he could be so much healthier if he didn't smoke at all.

Years ago I think we looked on treats as a reward, but I don't think so much these days. Life was very hard for many of us and having a treat to look forward to made life bearable.

MONNA can I just say you sound to be so much more upbeat and more like your old self. I hope the healing continues for you and you have a wonderful summer to look forward to.

Candlelightx