The Garden Fence - help and support in tough times

candlelight_2013

Softstuff, your Mum has it exactly right.

I know people laugh about wind and such like, but when it is medication that is causing it, it is very painful.

I am definitely going to ask for the slow release tabs when I go to the GP on Monday.

Candlelightx

nursemaggie

Still thinking of you burtha and lots of hugs.

*zippy*

Good afternoon thank you again for your lovely welcome and well wishes x

Burtha, that is awful and your MILs last few months are going to be spoilt for her family by your SIL, it shouldn't, but it still shocks me how awful some people can be. I hope for you all it can be resolved without a lot of upset x

I have high bp too fuddle, surprising how many of here do. I've had mine high since a teen, I think it's hereditary as my mum is the same. A couple of years ago I kept getting burst blood vessels in my eyes so DH made go to the Dr luckily as my BP was very high, it was a wake up call as I wasn't looking after myself. My Drs has a blood pressure clinic with a nurse and she agreed rather than meds straight away they said they'd support me seeing if losing weight helped and luckily it did, still a bit high if they take it, but if I go in myself and use their machine it's high normal.

Well done on your knitting I'm knitting dishcloths at the moment as my last lot my mum made me are getting holey, had them years though and they are so much nicer than bought cloths. In my knitting group the beginners often knit those slouchy hats, the lady who runs it gets them free patterns on revelry.

I'm supposed to be cleaning downstairs today, but I'm not doing too well, I really need to just get on with it. I'm having a family party here a weekt Saturday so thought if I cleaned this week I could cook next week and not have last minute panics. That's the plan anyway!

Hope everyone has a good day x

burtha

Hi all, thank you for all the support ,just needed to sound off ..back to normal service today , had a reasonable chat with dh tonight decided that basically we just keep on going , will see mil when we can , sil is nearly always there ..It's as if she hasn't grown up , how does someone get to there early 40's and still almost live with there mam , it's been mil who has feed, watered,washed and worried about sil kids , still feeding and washing for them now , it's absolutely madness ..Over the years each time you go around to mil someone was always asleep on the sofa or she was feeding someone ,kids have been brought up by her and even though they are now early 20's nothing has changed ...sil was only living a few streets away ....mil and sil are very similar in lots of ways ....but we will just say nothing and wait till the end before it blows up ... then it's up to sil, no help or involvement from us ....
x

burtha

Right head sorted , sitting down for once ,everyone feed, homework done and glass of wine in hand ....

Dh doing paperwork at the club ...he has a few days off so hopefully will be able to get out with the dogs , sod all the proper jobs that need done ...

On the talk of BP ...mine is always on the low side ,how I don't know , even just before opp it was only 60/100 ...i must be chilled out lol

Fingers crossed I don't end up working this weekend x

monnagran

Good morning all. Dark and dirty weather here, the sort of day when you just feel like curling up with some knitting or a good book. Or both. However I feel compelled to give my room a good clear up.
It's very strange living in one room again. Most of my possessions are scattered about in friends garages and it would take me remembering what I wanted and which friend was housing it for me and then negotiating a time when they are in and when either my DS2 or DIL are free to run me up there to retrieve said item. Even then there is the problem of where to put it when I get it.
Oh well, if that's the worst problem I have I can't grumble. Says she who has just done so.

Burtha: you and your DH seem to have sorted out a way of getting through the next few months. You are so sensible. There are bound to be times when you have to bite your tongues or go outside and bang your heads against a wall but you do have the comforting knowledge that you are together in this.

Camelot: do you mean to tell me that you got all through your childhood without making prompoms? I bet there is a YouTube showing you how somewhere but if not flag it up again and I'll explain. When I was a child we used to make them using 2 milk bottle tops. Of course they weren't foil tops then, they were cardboard circles with a smaller circle stamped in the centre, all ready for pompom making or to be wound round with raffia and joined together to make table mats. A favourite Friday afternoon activity in infant schools. Of course the milk bottles had much wider tops in those days. Anyone remember them?

Well, 3 year old has already tapped on my bedroom door and asked if I am ready to play, so I'd better get dressed and do my bit.

x

fuddle

I think having your belongings displaced and not having the ability to retrieve them without the goodwill of others is worthy of more than a grumble but I think 3 year old will do a better job at cheering you up than I will Monna. Enjoy!

That's the spirit Burtha. Have no one dictate to you at this time. SiL doesn't appear to be able to cope and seems to have some sort of self inflicted monopoly on having to feel the worst or having to deal with things herself. I've seen it before in my own family. For whatever reason only the inflicted know, 'outsiders' must be punished for not being as 'good' or as involved as the inflicted but equally, in order to have that bitterness wrapped up in the 'outsiders' (blame, its not fair, martyr feelings that give some release) theinflicted have to do everything in their power to keep the outsider at arms length.

Apologies for the language used Burtha. I don't mean outsiders or inflicted etc I just tried to write it in a way that was less personal. When I tried yesterday I gave too much information away about my own situation so deleted.

My ecg yesterday was fine. I have been to the GP this morning to talk about stress and anxiety. Basically I could have antidepressants as commonly used to tread axiety but theresa risk to blood pressure which I could do without. I could have beta blockers which would reduce bp and heart rate but not do anything about stress and worry. I could have valium and the like for a month but I would revert back to 'normal' when course is finished. I can go to talking therepies but the waiting list is now 12 months. We talked about meds to reduce my bp but with increased heart rate and history of poor digestion doctor feels that it's stress related. It was felt that anti depressants was the way to go. I thanked but refused... for now. This past year has been a catalyst of failiures and awful situations. It's no wonder I'm stressed and anxious. I didn't feel like there were any viable solutions on offer so I'm going to buy my own bp monitor and research eating for stress and anxiety. If I can't help myself I will go back.

It's me and my magnesium again plus a good look at my diet while researching self help and cbt online. The bits of advice he gave were to lower salt, cut out sugar, no alcohol and change my cup of tea to green tea. I've had stricter regimes diet wise so I'm up for that.

I know I come across as probably a wally for not taking meds in this but it's all just seemed to click for me. Its just unfortunate that I cant blame stress for my bad knees isnt it?!

monnagran

Fuddle: you are never a Sally for trying self-help first. Medication should be a last resort always. Please don't think that I am rubbishing anti-ds or any other medical help, in many cases they are a life saver, but i do think that every other avenue should be explored first.
Oh no. I've just noticed that you are not a Sally. Let's try again, you are never a wally. That's better.

Fuddle, you have had a tough time flower, and not just for the last year. In all that time you have kept your family afloat, moved several times, got yourselves into a stable financial position against all the odds, completely changed your life style and brought up 2 well balanced, enchanting and beautiful daughters. And kept your DH a happy bunny. Oh! And established a lovely, comfortable andinviting home at minimal cost.

Give yourself a break!

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x xxx

Softstuff

Fuddle, be careful switching to green tea, it's higher in caffeine and makes me more anxious. I'm a wuss caffeine wise, more than one coffee a day and I'm on edge.

Something that does work for me is lying flat on my back on the floor and emptying my mind, your mileage may vary on that one, but after a fair bit of therapy... not much worked but that seems to.

silvasava

Don't know if it would be your cup of (green?) tea Fuddle - but Yoga is an excellent de-stresser o Tai Chi. Depends if there is a class convenient to you and if you are inclined to try it. Good for you for ttrying other avenues first.