The Garden Fence - help and support in tough times

nursemaggie

Sorry burtha. Hugs

burtha

Just so sad really, just know that as soon as the worst has happened dh will not see any of them again, ..not that we see both bil anyway ,they haven't even met out youngest kids , sil spreads poison before any family events so none of them ever turn up , family are very strange

Softstuff

Sending hugs Burtha. You can't choose family, that's something that becomes more apparent to me from many people's troubles with them. I'm sorry you're having to go through this, xx

Floss

Burtha don't feel guilty for worrying about your DH - it seems that you have good reason to expect a family rift.

Hugs from Blackpool
Floss xx

camelot1001

So sorry to hear so many of you are having problems, families are a weird bunch.

I can knit but never seem to progress to anything other than basic stuff, I would love to try something with an arran pattern but having the concentration of a dead fly puts me off! I have just made a hat, poncho and some bootees for a friend's baby. The problem I have now is making 2 pom-poms for the hat, I think I have only ever made one in my life so not looking forward to it!

monnagran

Oh burtha, you and your DH really don't deserve this. I think you are going to have to ignore the SILas much as possible. Just put your blinkers on and both of you concentrate on MIL. Surely you can visit her when SIL is not around and in the event of
MIL being in hospital you have as much right as she has to talk to health workers.. At the end of the day as long as your DH's relationship with his mother has been honoured it really doesn't matter about the rest of them. I would let SIL get on with her little schemes and if she wants to do all the work with making all the after death arrangements let her. It's a horrible job anyway and you can go to the funeral, say your own goodbyes, speak to those you wish to speak to and return home to spend the rest of your lives concentrating on YOUR OWN family.
Don't let the toxic ones get in the way of you doing what you know to be right. And above all, never, never let anyone else's behaviour dictate your own. You are too precious for that.

Here ends the first lesson.

We all love you and there will be endless hugs coming your way today, starting with mine.

x

candlelight_2013

Burtha I am so sorry you and your DH are having to go through this.

Monna has said it so well, just because SIL is being so awful don't let it affect your relationship with MIL. It is bad enough for DH knowing his Mum has limited time left, see her as often as you can, and then hopefully no regrets at the end. Let SIL get on with her nasty little scheme, karma will come eventually, it usually does.

Big hugs to you and your DH

Candlelightx

silvasava

Burtha - just sending you Hugs and the strength to deal with whatever comes over the next few months. Monna has put it so very well x

ivyleaf

Sending big (((HUGS))) burtha.

The longer I live, the more I think there is no such thing as a non-dysfunctional family...I suppose that should really be "functional", but non-dysfunctional seems to express it better.

I wonder how chickens11/Sheila is getting on? I think she was going away on holiday, but I thought she'd be back by now, unless it was an extended holiday. thinking of you Sheila! Please drop in if you're able to, we miss you.

Monnagran I loved your post about outwitting the tablet :rotfl:

[Deleted User]

BURTHA love if you are not allowed to have contact with your MIL you can write to her, no interfering relative will be able to stop the postman delivering the letters and it's a way to let MIL know how much you DO care about her that your SIL cannot stop!