Holidays abroad - or lack of them, impact on child

maman

The teachers comments are unbelievable. I'd like her to be sent to teach in a deprived area and see how she copes! I really think you should speak to the head at some point not to make a formal complaint as such but just to make them aware. Schools are meant to be inclusive and that doesn't just mean nationalities and learning difficulties but all incomes and experiences too.


I like the idea of Wales or perhaps you've been somewhere yourself that you could tell your son about.


I live on the South coast so we've taken young family (who can't afford holidays) on day trips/weekends to France but that's probably a bit far for you.

Mojisola

theoretica wrote: »

To expand my point as it was in my mind, what proportion of people going on holiday, and specifically of the other kids in the class in question, have a truly broadening experience? Maybe I have been biased by a few recent holidays people have told me about, but they seem noticably lacking in broadening effect or potential in many cases, and yes I have heard complaints about the food!

This would be my answer to the teacher, too - it's not where you go on holiday that provides a mind-expanding experience, it's what you do while you're there.

Ours never went abroad while they were children but we had a variety of experiences on holiday - there are so many wonderful places to visit in Britain - and ours also learned how to camp, build campfires, cook outdoors, watched the wildlife, canoed and went wild swimming (before it was fashionable!).

Compared to the holidays abroad some of their classmates had, ours had a much more enriching experience.

purpleshoes_2

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

Complicated title - sorry!

Basically, My son has had some homework this weekend. It basically that they are looking at Europe for their topic this term and have to write a piece about a European country that they have been to on holiday and say what they liked about it etc.

Great - apart from that we haven't been able to afford a foreign holiday since he was born, so he hasn't ever been out of the UK

He is really upset and says that he will get told off - I have suggested doing holidays we have had in UK (as its in Europe...) but he is right - the way that the homework is set DOES suggest strongly that it needs to be a foreign part of Europe rather than Blighty lol!

I have suggested that he pick somewhere he would LIKE to go but he says that this will make him look silly when he presents it because they will know he hasn't been there if they ask questions.

It all stems I believe from the assumption of school that everyone will have had "abroad holidays".... he goes to school in a fairly affluent village - we live in the next village along (more affordable, still "Cotswolds" lol but more of a mix of people)... All of his friends go on at least 3 holidays abroad each year.

I now feel REALLY bad that we havent taken him abroad - partly due to funds, partly due to wondering what a younger child would have got out of going abroad and also because my hubby had a catastophic car crash when son was 3yrs old so its taken a LONG time to get back on our feet, financially and literally (for the hubby!!)...
When I spoke briefly with his teacher, she simply said "Well, perhaps you need to think about starting to offer him these kind of opportunities as he is going to be left even further behind his peers if you continue to hold him back." When I said that if he was in a less affluent area school, this wouldn't even come up as an issue, she said "well, its a little late to think about that now as he will be going to middle school this September"... I didnt mean I wanted to move him, was just trying to make a point which was obviously lost on her or not worth making :(:(:(

Not expecting any answers really - just needed to sound off as feeling like a really crap parent now at the moment

Well, speaking as someone who went to Majorca last year and saw people at my hotel not leave the poolside for a week (and thats perfectly ok if that's your cup of tea), a lot of the kids there would have seen plane, airport, pool, mum and dad having a few lagers, some crap entertainment, bed)

Not all holidays are about expanding people's horizons and why should they be.

As someone who has worked in schools through active schools, I saw kids that were clearly poor and by poor I mean dirt poor. I don't think in a million years these kids would have been on a foreign holiday.

I grew up in a single parent family and money wasn't always plentiful, we did go abroad now and then, I also went school trips abroad and I realise how much my mum sacrificed to get me there. Certainly not 3 holidays abroad a year in a million years.

Seriously, you aren't a crap parent. One of the best holidays I ever had was a week youth hostelling in the north of scotland, did this with a friend of mine when I was 18, cheap as and every year I say to myself, need to go back. One day I'll do it.

She was out of order, you aren't a crap parent.

bigmomma051204

FBaby wrote: »

Out of curiosity OP, what made you pick that school? I certainly would not want my kids to be around such a priviledged, and clearly prejudiced and judgemental environment. Are other teachers acting the same? Are the kids nicer at least?
It isn't a case of picking the school here - its a rural area, so your child goes to school where you live Well, excepting the people who drive their big 4x4s to bring their children 30mins drive from home to allow them to access this really "Good" school - FatvonD made a point about SATS results being high, but this being due to extra tuition paid for by parents, rather than quality of teaching.. absolutely the case here!!

In fact, once, when my son was 6years old and found writing a chore (still does a bit lol!) his class teacher at the time (also the SENCO) saw me for 5mins at parents evening and told me that "your son probably has Autism - he doesn't like writing and doesn't concentrate".... She called the Ed Psych in - who they never head from again but who wrote them a scathing report which basically told them they had wasted her valuable time because he was simply a 6yr old boy who gets distracted and doesn't like writing that much :cool:
And no - MOST of the children are fairly rude and obnoxious to be honest... a few weeks ago, one of the boys said to the one Indian (the only child in school from an ethnic minority) boy "well, you only get away with things because of your colour" and then went onto say to my son "He just thinks he is black or something - they always get away with everything in this country".... Horrendous - My son went and told the teacher immediately. My son came home and told me, I rang the next morning to complain because that is TOTALLY unacceptable. I said that I hoped the child in question would be reprimanded and then taught that this is NOT okay - the Head said that although she has spoken to the parents, she did feel that it was "just a bit of playground banter" and shouldnt be made a fuss about.
Funny - at their last OFSTED, the only main point where they were a bit lacking was about diversity and equality, and teaching the children about this - So they made links with a Chinese school and 4 of the children in the school exchange letters lol - perhaps they should have looked a little closer to home :cool::cool:


Just to comment on this though. It is extremely narrow minded. Travelling abroad can be much more than that. We don't do holiday on the beach, we do adventure holidays, which is about discovering another culture, new habits, attitude to life as well different flora and fauna. It is about learning that foreigner don't eat 'strange food' as you call it but that 'strange' is attached to one own culture and habits.

I do believe that travelling abroad is a great mind opener, but it is a luxury that not everyone can afford or can actually do physically.

See red answer above xx

jackyann

I echo all of the comments.
And I know this can be difficult - but I really think you should consider a letter to the Governors (copy to head and to teacher)
At the moment you son has learned that affluent people, and those with influence can make others feel bad.
What about learning how to hold your head high and make a stand for your rights? You and he should be proud of who you are & what you have done.
My parents showed me how to complain to those in power when necessary, how to stand firm and keep self-esteem. I think that if you can find the energy and resources to do this you will have taught your son something very valuable. If not, at least let him know how wrong this is.

Do you know much about the Middle School he is going to? I'd hope that it has a more inclusive attitude (although I agree with those who have said this is unusual in a teacher)

We had a similar experience to Mojisola (and our kids were much sought after as "festival companions"!). When we could afford to go camping in Europe, they were very aware of how lucky they were.

enthusiasticsaver

Like most other posters I am appalled at what is a disgusting attitude for a teacher and I do not blame you for feeling upset, who wouldn't? You can obviously make an issue of this by going to the Head as others have suggested but I would take your lead from your son on this one. We can sometimes go in, all guns blazing, I have done this myself when we thought our older daughter was being bullied but she said afterwards it was probably just the normal tiffs that kids have all the time. Your son may not want to make an issue for it and the main thing is for him to be happy with what is decided.

I would either encourage your son to research and write about a country in Europe he would like one day to go and visit or alternatively as you said he could write about somewhere in the UK he has been to and if his teacher turns her nose up at that he could point out quite rightly that the UK is in Europe


Personally I think he should write about Cornwall but then I am biased as I live there Hopefully the kids are less snobbish than the teacher.

purpleshoes_2

I have relatives who are teachers and they wouldn't speak to a child in their class like that in a million years.

As an adult, for the last few years Ive been broker than broke. I went on holiday in 2007 and not again until 2013.

The world didn't stop turning and that's exactly the same as it will be for your child.

If people have the money to go on 3 foreign holidays a year, fine, if not, no one should be made to feel bad about it.

Vikipollard

TBeckett100 wrote: »

To be frank, with very cheap airfares, the ability to go to France and back for a quid on the ferry, there isn't an excuse not to have taken your child abroad.

Our daughter is six and if I recall we have taken her to Canary Islands three times, mainland Spain once, Majorca, Menorca, France, Turkey, Maldives, West coast USA, Canada, New York and this year she'll go back to Majorca and California and probably Iceland for Christmas hokidays. She's a well travelled young lady and she has a greater sense of the world. When she is a bit older she'll go to Antarctica.

All this talk of "in my day I went away when I was 24" was also when travel was not as cheap and accessible as it is today. Whilst not everyone can afford as many holidays or to far flung places, a simple camping trip to Normandy isnt too expensive and broadens the mind.

I wouldn't disrespect the school. I'd rather have my child with a peer group of aspired individuals rather than also rans.

Except that in this case, it was about more than money. The child's Dad had received serious injuries which have taken a long time to recover from.


Disrespect the school? Poppycock. They have an absolutely shameful attitude to inclusion so what is there to respect? Being pompous does not equate to developing aspired individuals - more an over inflated sense of entitlement.


OP, report this vile individual to the Head and the Governing Body. I would be minded to escalate this to the Local Education Authority also.


But then, I went to the local comprehensive which recognised that not all children were privileged.

purpleshoes_2

TBeckett100 wrote: »

To be frank, with very cheap airfares, the ability to go to France and back for a quid on the ferry, there isn't an excuse not to have taken your child abroad.

Our daughter is six and if I recall we have taken her to Canary Islands three times, mainland Spain once, Majorca, Menorca, France, Turkey, Maldives, West coast USA, Canada, New York and this year she'll go back to Majorca and California and probably Iceland for Christmas hokidays. She's a well travelled young lady and she has a greater sense of the world. When she is a bit older she'll go to Antarctica.

All this talk of "in my day I went away when I was 24" was also when travel was not as cheap and accessible as it is today. Whilst not everyone can afford as many holidays or to far flung places, a simple camping trip to Normandy isnt too expensive and broadens the mind.

I wouldn't disrespect the school. I'd rather have my child with a peer group of aspired individuals rather than also rans.

And if people can't afford that simple camping trip? Then what?

Education should be inclusive, no matter what parents earn.

I cant remember much about holidays I had when I was 7 or 8. I know the countries I went to, I can't remember a lot about what I did there.

That's the reality. By the time someone hits 25 and their mum says can you remember going here? Answer will probably be yes.

Can you remember what you did? Answer will probably be no. Few people have the recall to remember years later what they did as a child so what does it matter.

Disrespect the school? Its an essay, it should be no big deal whether the family went to Wales or South Korea.

*max*

TBeckett, you really should choose more appropriate threads for your "my lovely family have been round the world on a private jet 122 times and my wife only wears Prada" kind of trolling.