Holidays abroad - or lack of them, impact on child

bigmomma051204

Complicated title - sorry!

Basically, My son has had some homework this weekend. It basically that they are looking at Europe for their topic this term and have to write a piece about a European country that they have been to on holiday and say what they liked about it etc.

Great - apart from that we haven't been able to afford a foreign holiday since he was born, so he hasn't ever been out of the UK

He is really upset and says that he will get told off - I have suggested doing holidays we have had in UK (as its in Europe...) but he is right - the way that the homework is set DOES suggest strongly that it needs to be a foreign part of Europe rather than Blighty lol!

I have suggested that he pick somewhere he would LIKE to go but he says that this will make him look silly when he presents it because they will know he hasn't been there if they ask questions.

It all stems I believe from the assumption of school that everyone will have had "abroad holidays".... he goes to school in a fairly affluent village - we live in the next village along (more affordable, still "Cotswolds" lol but more of a mix of people)... All of his friends go on at least 3 holidays abroad each year.

I now feel REALLY bad that we havent taken him abroad - partly due to funds, partly due to wondering what a younger child would have got out of going abroad and also because my hubby had a catastophic car crash when son was 3yrs old so its taken a LONG time to get back on our feet, financially and literally (for the hubby!!)...
When I spoke briefly with his teacher, she simply said "Well, perhaps you need to think about starting to offer him these kind of opportunities as he is going to be left even further behind his peers if you continue to hold him back." When I said that if he was in a less affluent area school, this wouldn't even come up as an issue, she said "well, its a little late to think about that now as he will be going to middle school this September"... I didnt mean I wanted to move him, was just trying to make a point which was obviously lost on her or not worth making :(:(:(

Not expecting any answers really - just needed to sound off as feeling like a really crap parent now at the moment

Spendless

Has he been to a different part of the UK other than the country he lives in that he could write about?

Mine have had the European homework too, but you weren't expected to have visited the country! So, just go with your idea of writing about somewhere he'd like to visit.

I'm not impressed by teacher's response, but don't beat yourself up about it.

pukkamum

I am disgusted by this, there are many reasons why children haven't been abroad on holiday, lack of funds, someone doesn't like flying, others don't like the heart, some like our family just don't feel that in order for a holiday too be fun, educational etc it has to involve foreign travel, we live in a wonderful country with many exciting places to visit. You are not doing him any harm. I didn't go abroad til I went as an adult. I would be wording a string email to the head about this teachers attitude!

BitterAndTwisted

Choosing not to take a child on foreign holidays, or not being in a position to do so is NOT "holding them back"!

I dunno what planet that teacher inhabits but it's not the one I live on. What an a-hole.

I suggest you go ahead with the plan of your child describing a European country they'd like to visit. There's no point in pretending you've been somewhere when you haven't.

redpete

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

I now feel REALLY bad that we havent taken him abroad

You shouldn't.

When I spoke briefly with his teacher, she simply said "Well, perhaps you need to think about starting to offer him these kind of opportunities as he is going to be left even further behind his peers if you continue to hold him back."

She is talking absolute nonsense and is not showing the empathy and intelligence I would expect form a teacher of young children. I would be tempted to complain to the head if this had been said to me.

When I said that if he was in a less affluent area school, this wouldn't even come up as an issue, she said "well, its a little late to think about that now as he will be going to middle school this September"

She'd either had a bad day or has a problem with dealing with parents all the time.

Threebabes

No advice really.

Just want to say I think the teacher was rude and what she said is totally out of order.

We have only been a away few times. I do not think my kids have suffered because of this.

I would stick with writing a piece on a uk holiday.
XX

dirty_magic

That's terrible, I'd complain to the head of his teacher said that. Most families don't exactly go on cultural holidays with young children anyway, two weeks on a beach in Spain isn't really teaching them much about other countries!

How old is your son? I'd go with picking somewhere he'd like to go, then he can learn about the place without going. I do think children can learn from travel, but they can learn about other countries' customs and cultures without having to go there!

adea

That's way out of order for the teacher to speak to you like that! You shouldn't be made to feel guilty, not everyone can afford holidays abroad.
I didn't have a foreign holiday until I was 15!
You are not a crap parent by any means!
Maybe it might be worth speaking to the headteacher about the teachers attitude?
Try not to let her attitude upset you too much, you are a mum who comes across as very caring. xx

ciderwithrosie_2

OMG! I can't believe his teacher's attitude, it absolutely stinks and I'd be taking it a lot higher. I only went abroad for the first time when I was 47! "Holding him back", when your son is about 8 or 9 (I'm presuming, from the mention of middle school) - what an !!!! she is!! She's effectively excluding him and that should not be allowed. If the Head is not in agreement with you, try the board of governors, then the LEA.


My boys have been more than me but on school trips (which we had to scrimp for) when they were older than your son and lads' holidays when they paid for themselves. We couldn't afford to take them abroad and I don't see why parents should be made to feel guilty for that or whatever reason.

Voyager2002

Has your child ever been to Scotland or Wales, since technically these are foreign countries?

playaz

Wow.. you should report that teacher she is a disgrace!

My own input... I come from a one parent family, where growing up holidays was something that 'rich people did' and I never once queried why I never had a holiday abroad as the answer was simple.. we had no money to do so.

My first 'holiday' was to Skegness, this obviously isn't abroad but it was fun and I appreciated it a lot as a kid. I didn't go abroad until I started my first year of university!! Even then that was only Tenerife but it was amazing!?!

To be honest now I am much older (in my 30's) I have the funds to travel abroad regularly and love doing so but I also understand that growing up I simply didn't have these opportunities which is why I grab the chance to get away all the time nowadays.

Your son shouldn't be made to feel left out by his teacher, she should just ask him to talk about any holiday in the UK, I am sure he will one day like me remember that day in class and realise the world is a big place and want to explore as much of it as possible just like I am now.

Don't feel like a bad parent.. not having holidays abroad doesn't put you in that bracket, just remember that you can make holidays in the UK just as special for your son... maybe even try Skegness I loved it as a little boy

Hope that helps