Holidays abroad - or lack of them, impact on child

FBaby

This is utterly shocking. How dare she make such a comment. What planet does she live on?

I personally do believe that foreign holidays are very valuable for kids, but it remains a luxury and not something any child need to grow up well balanced and happy. Please tell your son that if he is different to his school peers, he is not to a large number of children in this country.

I would defintely write a complaint to the Headteacher about the homework and the teacher's comments. Has she ever said anything innapropriate like this before?

Poppops

What a load of rubbish and a disgraceful comment.

I went to public school. It was the 80s and children from poor families could sit an exam and if succesful, all your costs were paid. An assisted place it was called. I was at school with children whose parents could afford for them to travel the world, who wanted for nothing and had experiences which I could only dream of.

I went abroad for the first time when I was 22. I keep in touch with a few schoolfriends and from what I can tell when I hear news of others, they have done no better than I have.

If we only had the weather, there are places in the UK which are of much higher educational value to a child, steeped in history as we are, than a fortnight at a water park in Magaluf!

It is this teacher that is going to hold your child back, not you!

Gigglepig

The comment from the teacher sounded rude ... But I don't understand the need to speak to them in the first place. If it was my child that that hadn't been to a European country then they would just make a presentation of one based on research, pretty straight forward really and no need to take up the teacher's time? Perhaps it irritated the teacher, especially if it wan't a one off - only you know if you are the sort of parent that discusses things with them things quite often that perhaps the parent could solve themselves.

My other thought was that when the teacher mentioned the child falling even further behind, does this mean the child is already behind the others anyway, in terms of learning or cultural experiences? if so perhaps the teacher made a general comment rather than specifically about the holiday.

bigmomma051204

Hi All,

Thanks for the responses... We have been on holiday in UK but only really to Devon as my parents have a house there which we can stay at He has been to Wales for daytrips but not Scotland..

Firstly, yes this is absolutely true for the poster who queried.. As I mentioned, this is a first school in an affluent area (Cotswolds area) - For example, I am one of only 7 Mums in the school who work full time - it is a village which is populated by GPs, consultants, business owners etc, and all but 7 of us have never needed to work after getting married... I can always remember the first week when all of the mums who were already friends from attending the local toddler group ( i didnt as I was full time, son was in nursery) were buzzing around me - one of them invited me to their every morning after drop off get together for coffee and cakes.. i explained that I wouldnt be able to attend as I was rushing off to work...she gave me a really funny look and said "You WORK?! Thats awful.. Aren't you married then? What does your husband do?" :cool:

Anyhoo - to be honest, the comment from teacher is nothing new... the school has always given off an attitude of "If you work and therefore can't offer to help with trips, come in to read with the children during the day then you aren't worth us bothering with"... There is very much a feeling of being excluded anyway simply because we don't have the time or money to "Join in"... Another example of how affuent the school is - they do a regular fundraiser every year for school - an auction of promises where they auction off things the parents have "given".... things such as a 2 week holiday in Florida, a helicopter ride etc... They raise on average about £18,000 at these events which I am always amazed by (we dont go as the tickets to "attend" so u can bid cost £25 per head...) - they spend it on school which is of course brilliant for the kids..
The reason I give these examples is simply to try to explain why it is more the assumption that everyone will of course have been abroad lots that upsets me than the comment alone....

I can cope with my son rarely being invited to play because I haven't been friends with the other mums since he was a baby etc - but it IS hard when it feels like school are excluding him from being able to do homework because we don't fit in with the majority of the well off families

Thanks again for the replies - I don't usually let it all get to me, but this time it has :cool: Must be hormonal or something LOL!!

SmarterNotHarder

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

Complicated title - sorry!

Basically, My son has had some homework this weekend. It basically that they are looking at Europe for their topic this term and have to write a piece about a European country that they have been to on holiday and say what they liked about it etc.

Well that's a bit silly. I didn't go anywhere in Europe until I was 16 on a school trip. I did however go to see my family on a different continent every few years. I didn't do much in the way of culture though - we were literally "visiting family" for most of the trips. So what the hell would the teacher have made of that? Several long haul flights and no report on Europe to show for it!

As a child this did annoy me because I didn't understand why, if we could afford that, why we couldn't afford to go to Spain like all my friends . Maybe it's telling though, despite my love of travel now and the various places I have visited off my own steam, I *still* haven't been to Spain...

When I spoke briefly with his teacher, she simply said "Well, perhaps you need to think about starting to offer him these kind of opportunities as he is going to be left even further behind his peers if you continue to hold him back." When I said that if he was in a less affluent area school, this wouldn't even come up as an issue, she said "well, its a little late to think about that now as he will be going to middle school this September"... I didnt mean I wanted to move him, was just trying to make a point which was obviously lost on her or not worth making :(:(:(

yeah.. no words on this one!

So theres more issues really than the one presented. I agree with complain to the teacher. Are they going to make all the kids from single parent families do a project on both parents too?

PasturesNew

Disgraceful sn0tty teacher. I hope she dies in debtors prison trying to live her dream.....

I've never been abroad and I'm probably old enough to be the teacher's mum.

susancs

Disgraceful comments by the teacher IMO. How dare she state that your child will get left behind his peers through not having holidays abroad. A friend of mine has a husband who has a fear of taking journeys on aeroplanes, so they always have had UK holidays, her eldest child achieved all A grades in A levels including one in Geography and is currently in Oxford University. Her second child achieved all A* grades at GCSE. One of my 17 year old daughter's sixth form classmates has never been on any holiday either in the UK or abroad, as she is the eldest child in a large family and she is predicted A grades at A level, plus has a conditional offer of a place at studying Geography at Oxford University. You sound like a kind, caring, loving parent and that will stand your child in better sted in life, rather than holidays abroad.

As others have said, just get your son to write about where he would like to go in Europe and why. Personally I would make a point of catching the Head teacher and reminding her that not everyone can take holidays abroad and that homework set by the school should be mindful of this.

ognum

OP, do you manage to have holidays in the UK?

All of the UK is in Europe so even if you went on a picnic down the road get him to write a really good project on this (you may need to help a bit) make it the best project with the experience he has had.

Some people come from limited backgrounds no it sound like his teacher is one of these people.

Rather than getting upset reverse the karma, be really proactive in creating a project that reflects life in a UK village or a town that is the opposite to where you live now.

You could talk about transport links, food shopping, the effects of the weather on farming, hobbies, social life All of these can differ depending on your location rural or city.

Always try not to let the small mindedness of others reflect on your children. This could be a brilliant project, I wish I was there to do it with you.

Relax and enjoy showing this silly teacher how life really is.

duchy

The teacher is an idiot and the LEA would take a very dim view of her exclusionary attitude.

However simple solution - Wales is another country and there's lots to say about its food, language, culture etc and he HAS visited it so can be a country he has visited.

I still think the teacher's attitude sucks though and in your shoes I'd have written to the head about the teacher's comments on the basis they are exclusionary as well as rude. (In writing as it can't be ignored the way "catching the head" can be - and all schools are expected by the LEA to be inclusive regardless so the school is bang out of order.

Gigglepig

How bizarre. Lots of priviledged women have big professional careers and demanding schedules. OP have you considered moving? Sounds like you resent the school and other parents.

I personally would love a school where parents wer committed to join in (even though I work full time myself so it would need to be evenings/weekends) and where parents are so supportive and generous with fundraising - that benefits ALL students and ensures no one is left behind - rather than having crazily expensive school trips etc that not all the children can go on.

I personally don't think the school is excluding him from doing the homework, and that by making a big deal out of it perhaps you are excluding yourself so to speak. But what the teacher said was rude and i completely understand if you want to complain to the school.

However I would also try to participate as much as I could, attend fundraisers etc and donate what I could, perhaps something inexpensive and thoughtful such as a gift basket with home baking, even if I could not afford to bid or donate someing expensive.