Holidays abroad - or lack of them, impact on child

Buzzybee90

I can not believe the teacher said that....!

I mean seriously! :eek:

I do think foreign hols are fab for children, but aren't attainable for everyone.

That teacher really has some bloody cheek.

catkins

I would be absolutely furious with the teacher and not only would let her know that but also tell the Head about it.


The first time I went abroad was a day trip to France aged 22! The first holiday I had abroad I was 36.


I had 4 holidays in my childhood, 3 in Kent (we lived in London) and 1 in Cornwall. I don't think it has done me any harm!


I know plenty of people who have never been abroad and, in fact, never want to go and some of them could certainly afford to so it's not always down to whether you can afford it or not.


I must say I certainly don't envy you living where you do if most of the locals are that snobby

FBaby

Out of curiosity OP, what made you pick that school? I certainly would not want my kids to be around such a priviledged, and clearly prejudiced and judgemental environment. Are other teachers acting the same? Are the kids nicer at least?

What do people do abroad? Lie in the sun (OK that's often hard here); see new and different places (don't need to go abroad for that, I certainly haven't seen all of the UK or even within 20 miles of home), practice foreign languages (how much of that do most kids actually do?); ski (exercise is good, but a bike riding or walking holiday would have a similar effect wouldn't it?); eat strange food (don't need to go away for that either)...

Just to comment on this though. It is extremely narrow minded. Travelling abroad can be much more than that. We don't do holiday on the beach, we do adventure holidays, which is about discovering another culture, new habits, attitude to life as well different flora and fauna. It is about learning that foreigner don't eat 'strange food' as you call it but that 'strange' is attached to one own culture and habits.

I do believe that travelling abroad is a great mind opener, but it is a luxury that not everyone can afford or can actually do physically.

moomoomama27

The teacher us an unprofessional git! She needs reporting to the head/Governers or LEA.

In the school I work in, it's a big thing if the child has even been to Tesco! Infact when we came back from summer holidays and we asked the children to write about a special day out they had experienced a lot if them wrote about a trip to the local town to do shopping, or a trip to the local swimming pool!

What a terrible assumption that a child needs to go on holiday to fulfil childhood!

YORKSHIRELASS

Thats utterly disgusting. And what would the teacher say if you were in our position? Our eldest son has serious health problems. Even if we could afford to take him abroad, and even if we could sort out the travel insurance, we wouldn't go because he wouldn't cope with it very well.

We have, however, been lucky enough to take our kids away camping in this country many times and they have seen a lot of the UK on their holidays!

Our school only offers school trips abroad costing £800+ and I am probably a bad parent because I cant afford to send my younger son on them. Oooh dont even get me started on that one!

FatVonD

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

Hi All,

Thanks for the responses... We have been on holiday in UK but only really to Devon as my parents have a house there which we can stay at He has been to Wales for daytrips but not Scotland..

Firstly, yes this is absolutely true for the poster who queried.. As I mentioned, this is a first school in an affluent area (Cotswolds area) - For example, I am one of only 7 Mums in the school who work full time - it is a village which is populated by GPs, consultants, business owners etc, and all but 7 of us have never needed to work after getting married... I can always remember the first week when all of the mums who were already friends from attending the local toddler group ( i didnt as I was full time, son was in nursery) were buzzing around me - one of them invited me to their every morning after drop off get together for coffee and cakes.. i explained that I wouldnt be able to attend as I was rushing off to work...she gave me a really funny look and said "You WORK?! Thats awful.. Aren't you married then? What does your husband do?" :cool:

Anyhoo - to be honest, the comment from teacher is nothing new... the school has always given off an attitude of "If you work and therefore can't offer to help with trips, come in to read with the children during the day then you aren't worth us bothering with"... There is very much a feeling of being excluded anyway simply because we don't have the time or money to "Join in"... Another example of how affuent the school is - they do a regular fundraiser every year for school - an auction of promises where they auction off things the parents have "given".... things such as a 2 week holiday in Florida, a helicopter ride etc... They raise on average about £18,000 at these events which I am always amazed by (we dont go as the tickets to "attend" so u can bid cost £25 per head...) - they spend it on school which is of course brilliant for the kids..
The reason I give these examples is simply to try to explain why it is more the assumption that everyone will of course have been abroad lots that upsets me than the comment alone....

I can cope with my son rarely being invited to play because I haven't been friends with the other mums since he was a baby etc - but it IS hard when it feels like school are excluding him from being able to do homework because we don't fit in with the majority of the well off families

Thanks again for the replies - I don't usually let it all get to me, but this time it has :cool: Must be hormonal or something LOL!!

It was a little like that at the first school my son attended (though not quite so extreme) and the kids from more affluent families *did* do better but only because their parents paid for tutoring outside school. The stupid thing is I actually moved house to get my son into that 'better' school on the basis of their SATS results which, as it turned out, had precious little to do with the quality of teaching.

Moving house and changing schools was the best thing I ever did, I kick myself for not taking him out of there sooner, and, even though my son only spent 6 weeks at junior school in the new area before going to high school, I got a glimpse of what a good junior school should be like.

On the subject of being inclusive, at their prize giving assembly on the last week they actually invented an award for him ('for settling in so quickly') so he wouldn't be left out when everyone else was getting an award. He has his own section in their year book too (as did children that had left before year 6.) When he went to senior school I was left with £350 of unused, non-refundable childcare vouchers which I donated to the school as I was so grateful to them for how nice they had all been to him. I didn't specify what they should use it for but I like to think they used it to pay for a place on the year 6 trip for someone that wouldn't otherwise have been able to go.

Bizarrely this lovely school is the one that the more pretentious of my neighbours (I still live in an affluent area) pass over in favour of one on the other side of town as the kids from the only two roads with local authority housing fall into the catchment area of this one but the other side of town is all mahoosive houses.

I hope your son moves to a much nicer school too next time

ellesbellesxxx

I am a teacher and I am incredibly shocked at what the teacher said to you... And the expectation that children have been abroad. As a child we didn't go abroad until I was at least 13, it most definitely doesn't hold you back... We loved our Cornwall holidays and to be honest, I don't think we would have appreciated going abroad when we were so young anyway. I would say something to the school as this is really unfair.

balletshoes

bigmomma051204 wrote: »

Complicated title - sorry!

Basically, My son has had some homework this weekend. It basically that they are looking at Europe for their topic this term and have to write a piece about a European country that they have been to on holiday and say what they liked about it etc.

Great - apart from that we haven't been able to afford a foreign holiday since he was born, so he hasn't ever been out of the UK

He is really upset and says that he will get told off - I have suggested doing holidays we have had in UK (as its in Europe...) but he is right - the way that the homework is set DOES suggest strongly that it needs to be a foreign part of Europe rather than Blighty lol!

I have suggested that he pick somewhere he would LIKE to go but he says that this will make him look silly when he presents it because they will know he hasn't been there if they ask questions.

It all stems I believe from the assumption of school that everyone will have had "abroad holidays".... he goes to school in a fairly affluent village - we live in the next village along (more affordable, still "Cotswolds" lol but more of a mix of people)... All of his friends go on at least 3 holidays abroad each year.

I now feel REALLY bad that we havent taken him abroad - partly due to funds, partly due to wondering what a younger child would have got out of going abroad and also because my hubby had a catastophic car crash when son was 3yrs old so its taken a LONG time to get back on our feet, financially and literally (for the hubby!!)...
When I spoke briefly with his teacher, she simply said "Well, perhaps you need to think about starting to offer him these kind of opportunities as he is going to be left even further behind his peers if you continue to hold him back." When I said that if he was in a less affluent area school, this wouldn't even come up as an issue, she said "well, its a little late to think about that now as he will be going to middle school this September"... I didnt mean I wanted to move him, was just trying to make a point which was obviously lost on her or not worth making :(:(:(

Not expecting any answers really - just needed to sound off as feeling like a really crap parent now at the moment

I'm appalled that you were given that reply from your son's teacher - in my opinion its still a massive leap to assume that every primary school child in the country will have had a holiday outside the UK.

Don't you let that narrow-minded attitude from one teacher make you feel like a bad parent - you are not, just because you have had other priorities over holidays! Holidays are a luxury, not a necessity.

If any teacher had said that to me when my child was in primary school, I'd have talked to the head teacher about it, if only to get my point of view across, because its likely that not every parent at the school has taken their children abroad on holiday.

This could have so easily been avoided if the teacher had titled the work "a country in Europe you have visited or would like to visit".

Serendipitious

St. David's Day tomorrow. I would choose Wales. There's lots to like about Wales, and you said you have been there, so the piece will be based on fact.

theoretica

FBaby wrote: »

Just to comment on this though. It is extremely narrow minded. Travelling abroad can be much more than that. ...

Indeed it can be, and I am sorry I came across badly. To expand my point as it was in my mind, what proportion of people going on holiday, and specifically of the other kids in the class in question, have a truly broadening experience? Maybe I have been biased by a few recent holidays people have told me about, but they seem noticably lacking in broadening effect or potential in many cases, and yes I have heard complaints about the food!