New (man) to Claiming from the CSA

enemes

rach28 wrote: »

Just wondering though i was told by advisor at the wonderful Bolton office they would only do a doe if there was three months of no payments what so ever. Is this correct?

I was on the phone yesterday to my CRO about just that. He told me that I can request for a DEO to be instigated at any time. The down side would be the delay in getting it through, but would ensure more "security" in the long run.

I had an assessment made in Dec 07, and recieved less than half that amount only this week, and alreaqdy she has defaulted, so the CSA are slapping on a DEO with immediate effect.

I think the official policy seems to be " try and prevent DEO's where possible", but they are available. I reckon the option should be on the original application form should the PWC require it. Afterall, we know our ex's better than anyone.

enemes

I,M_SAD wrote: »

I think Kellogs mentioned before that we are obviously partial to our own experiences.And I do believe that,s true,and I do appreciate that it must be less frequent for men to apply for csa but we are all as parents in the same boat if we are not receiving financial support for our children.

Thanx I'M SAD ... Sorry if you took it the wrong way. I wasn't trying to be sexist. I am a single parent like many other single parents, male or female. It is of no fault of my children, and I am as much to blame as their mother is.

However, as you state, it being less likely that the PWC is male, I thought I would post this thread in an attempt to see how prejudices prevail. I get it every day. From the minute I applied for Child benefit when I had to get a lawyer's letter to bolster my application! People living nearby, ask me "why do you have them?". Even now, more than two years down the line ... I have a ( male) case worker at the CSA, working his cloggs off for me because, as he put it, "great ... its good to see the shoe on the other foot!"

So, it works both ways. However, the best thing to come out of this thread, is the knowledge that there are many more dads in the same position as me, which I didn't expect. I have to say, that I was also prejudiced.

While I am at it ... where are the support services for single dads, and more importantly for the children of single dads? Where is the refuge for battered dads? Why am I frowned upon because I am attempting to claim maintenance from a "mother"? Why do people keep saying to me, "Stand on your own two feet and support the kids by yourself"?

The reality is ... I am a decent human being. I am a parent, who wants best for his children. A basic want. It has nothing to do with sexism, or who would be the better/more appropriate parent. I do what is BEST for them, then I do what is better for me.

If their mother wants to play the game, and avoid paying for their keep, then so be it. The sad fact is that when her chilidren grow up and look back and see that she didn't provide for them, the real hurt will start. I don't need her poxy £40 odd a week, I want the kids growing up in the knowledge that their mum contributed to them ... as any decent parent would.

rach28

hear hear to enemes i think it doesnt matter if your male or female we are all in the same boat.
Some advice if any one can please. My ex is supposed to pay £44 a week plus £195.26 a fortnight of the arrears as they want it payed back in 2 years. He hasnt paid any arrears plus is only making payments of £29.00 a week. I asked cant they do doe to get the full amount this is when i was told he had to miss three full months before they would do this and also i should be grateful i was getting something. I have placed a complaint and am waiting to hear back from someone. But today in the post i received letter from csa saying they had received a request from my ex appealing against the child support decision notified on 20/11/07. I rang to find out what it was all about but all they said was they couldnt tell me any details and i will here from them once they have processed the appeal request. Does anyone know what its all about? and Whats going to happpen?

enemes

rach28 wrote: »

My ex is supposed to pay £44 a week plus £195.26 a fortnight of the arrears as they want it payed back in 2 years. He hasnt paid any arrears plus is only making payments of £29.00 a week. I asked cant they do doe to get the full amount this is when i was told he had to miss three full months before they would do this and also i should be grateful i was getting something.

If it was the case that you had to miss three months before a DEO is issued ( contrary to what my CRO told me), then surely if your ex has that amount of areears, then he HAS missed three months worth by now.

It looks like that your ex is playing the system. Hopefully you will continue to receive your payments weekly until such time the appeal runs it course.

Isn't it so annoying that The Powers to Be can't tell you anything, when the whole thing is relevant to you and your children. Surley it would be better all round if you were aware of the issues of the appeal, so you can counter them now, and not have to wait until a decision is made on those facts behind your back ... and then you have to go through the whole process of appealing against his appeal.

rach28

To be honest i dont know whos playing me worse the csa or ex. It really makes me want to throw the towel in and say you've won. his idea is that because he doesnt see her or have any contact any more with her nor does he ever wish to, and we have both married and had more children then he shouldnt have to pay. Ive even had abusive phone calls from ex mum telling me to drop csa.

enemes

rach28 wrote: »

It really makes me want to throw the towel in and say you've won. .... Ive even had abusive phone calls from ex mum telling me to drop csa.

You can't throw the towel in ... it's not up to you. This is all about his child, and for his/her sake, you can't be intimidated by others.

Have you been through your MP, and sent a complaint email to the CSA yet?

Giving up is exactly what your ex wants ... don't give him the satisfaction of having "won". Just think of it as getting nothing from him or the CSA, and when they do get the whole sorry mess sorted, anything you get will be a bonus ... a BIG bonus for your child.

Strapped

Mr_Green_Genes wrote: »

:D

I got to better times by being somewhat obsessed that the inhuman creatures at Plymouth CSAC weren't going to get the better of me. I badgered them, regularly demanded my DPA material, reported them to the police, my MP and ultimately the Ombudsman. I didn't let them get away with any of their lies and kept on at them until they did what they should have done 2 years before, i.e. their jobs.

That's why I have such a low opinion of them, they caused me to waste so much time and energy just getting them to do what they were being paid to do anyway.

We have had the misfortune to have to deal with Plymouth too. Out of curiousity, can i ask why you reported them to the police? What was the outcome?

With apologies to the OP for crashing the thread...

rach28

Have you been through your MP, and sent a complaint email to the CSA yet?

I sent a letter of complaint on 21/01/08 I have rang today and it is apparently showing on the system as having been received and is apparently marked as (urgent). what that means within the csa i dont know. and i was advised that it has been passed to someone and they would be in contact. When they couldnt tell me.

Does any one know how long it will take?

rach28

sorry Enemes last post was for you messed it trying to be clever talking on the phone whilst replying. You asked if sent letter of complain. yes as above. Any help or advice would be much appreciated.

marthax58

:A :T :A :A I think it;s not so much about money, it's the principle,our children have two parents and we should each take responsibility for their emotional and physical/material welfare. When the CSA are involved there is obviously a problem in maintaining this amicably...and expectations of the ability of a government agency to enforce or coerce compliance?..Don't give up,, don't feel sorry , Just keep doing the best you can..your children will survive and love you for being there for them...xx:A :heart2: