No More Chardonnay for me! My booze-free Diary

Chardonnay

Have had a really lovely weekend, running, sipping coffee overlooking a beautiful lake in the sunshine, sitting in the garden reading magazines and eating ice cream! Just brilliant. I can honestly say I did not miss alcohol one bit. I had a bottle of Echo Falls alcohol free bubbly over the weekend - I really like that one as it's not too sweet. OH and I drank some in the garden yesterday with ice and he commented that you feel like you are drinking alcohol, which I agreed, but as I said, without the effects!

Feeling very positive at the moment but I do feel really tired today - for some reason, whether I drink or not, I can't seem to get past that shattered feeling on a Monday I guess it is down to sleep patterns being mucked up over the weekend.

Hope everyone else had a good one!

mrsdee

Hi and morning everyone! So pleased to hear that my comments are being of help. To be entirely honest, my only regret is not giving up alcohol earlier, but that's great in hindsight I guess! I tried cutting down, not drinking during the week, trying only to drink on "special occasion" and so on but really it was all pointless and the only way to proceed was to stop.


You are so right about us all being brainwashed into thinking alcohol is the only way to celebrate, have fun, be normal etc! And about living life to the full. One thing that really brought this home to me this morning when I got into to work and was chatting to a colleague who had been at the same wedding as me on Saturday. I asked her if she'd had fun and she said she'd had so much to drink that she completely wrote off yesterday and felt dreadful! she couldn't remember getting home but said it must have been fun.... I thought omg, that's not really fun is it - especially when you lose out on a whole half of your weekend off by suffering from too much booze!! That's not meant to sound holier than though, by the way, as that is EXACTLY what I used to be like!! Only I'd probably have done lots of embarrassing dancing, thrown up somewhere, tripped up and bruised myself and possibly still felt dreadful this morning. I used to spend many a day simply sitting at my desk with a banging headache, staring at my computer screen with red sore eyes, begging for the day to be over!


All I'm saying is that it takes a while to get to the point of being able to view alcohol objectively (this is where I found Jason Vale's book SO helpful) and see that it doesn't really bring you anything in terms of benefits or pleasure - - or at least so very little (in that first "lift") that is far outweighed by everything that comes after it.


I really enjoyed the wedding - talked to loads of people, saw some folk I hadn't seen in years and enjoyed catching up, had loads of laughs, and was able to drive home at the end of it (without having embarrassed myself!) AND get up early yesterday feeling great, to walk the dog in the sunshine and have a nice day out with my DH.


Given those two scenarios I know which makes sense - to me, now, the new sober me!! The only difference is quite simply not putting alcohol into yourself. When I see that now, with clear eyes, it is so obvious. But it is so hard when you are in the habit of drinking. I drank every day but once that cycle was broken everything became so much easier.


OK that's enough of me going on and on! Good luck everyone and have a wonderful AF week ahead!

Honey_Bear

Mrs Dee, I echo every single sentiment in your post. Whatever works to make the change from being someone who knew they drank too much to someone who doesn't drink at all is key to it, I think, and it's great hearing someone else's success story. It really is. I find the people who just say how wonderful life is without alcohol aren't actually that helpful - I wanted to know how to get from where I was to where I wanted to be.

mrsdee

I think it's the thing about understanding that you're not missing out on anything by not drinking alcohol. If fact you are missing out on a whole lot if you DO drink alcohol.
If you are wondering whether to fork out the few quid to read Jason Vale's Kick The Drink easily book - I wouldn't hesitate.


I figure I was spending £10 a day on wine at LEAST (1.5 nice bottles a day, more on weekends) - so that's £2000 saved since the start of this year ALREADY!!! And don't forget the tax you have to pay first on the money you earned in order to spend hard earned cash on wine, so it's even MORE!!!
I can barely believe it myself!!

Honey_Bear

No, I wasn't worrying about whether to buy the book. I read a lot of books in the early days and each of them was helpful, but mostly because they were written by women who had stopped drinking. If I need more support in the future I'll bear your recommendation in mind though.

silverwhistle

I'm on antibiotics for a week so am not drinking and just popped in here from idle curiosity. I've had previous stints of not drinking due to medical reasons - once for 6 months - but I have no intention of giving up.

What I find helps is only drinking when I am feeling positive, and if I'm feeling down I don't drink - and that can include Fridays and Saturdays. Perhaps that helps me still be civilized when I've had a few, if a little giggly.. No need for the discipline of not having booze in the house: in fact in the cupboard behind me are over 40 bottles and there's at least one chilling in the fridge.

Avoiding routine also helps and during the week I might have a nice risotto or piece of meat that just calls for a decent accompaniment, so I look for something appropriate - it's never just alcohol. (Had medical student friends so I have had it!) I'm interested in what I have, with a particular focus on Italian wines.

With the football season coming up I tend to cut back on Saturdays anyway as we play Sunday afternoons. As I'm now 60 this regime has worked well for me, although on occasion some of the younger women in the team have obviously overdone it. I'd certainly be more concerned if I were routinely drinking a bottle a day, although I can occasionally have more than that. I've worked out that my inability to get up and be bright in the morning is not related to the previous night! Fortunately also I don't get headaches in the morning, just a certain lethargy which may also be the result of eating too much as well.

mrsdee

Honey_Bear wrote: »

No, I wasn't worrying about whether to buy the book. I read a lot of books in the early days and each of them was helpful, but mostly because they were written by women who had stopped drinking. If I need more support in the future I'll bear your recommendation in mind though.

That wasn't what I meant at all sorry, HB! It was not meant for you directly, more of a general "if anyone is wondering whether to or not.." kind of comment! I agree, reading a lot of books at the beginning helps bring a sense of perspective. I think I have had enough of reading for "work" though and now am enjoying just reading for pleasure! Although I did enjoy reading The Girl On The Train which was a bit - eeeeek!!!!

Chardonnay

Hello all!

Mrsdee, I know what you mean about not wanting to sound holier than thou and like you, I would have been the one in the past who did the stupid things when drunk! I am always trying to stop myself and rein my enthusiasm in for not drinking because I would hate to be one of those ex-drinkers who people avoid, lecturing on the dangers of drink!

I think that is what the Jason Vale book does though - it really makes you see alcohol for what it is and you want to shout it from the rooftops, but you know that wouldn't be a good idea. I am always stressing to other people that this is a decision that works for me as alcohol doesn't suit me any more but that I would never try to tell others what to do. There are a couple of dear people in my life who drink too much and I really worry about them but I have to keep myself in check. I know that I used to drink too much but would never listen when people (mostly my lovely late mum) used to try to tell me. I was very defensive about my drinking and I had to come to the decision myself to stop.

I can really relate to what you say about enjoying the wedding - it's strange but I have actually ended up enjoying social occasions more without the drink too. Having been more of a social drinker, this is a major surprise to me. I have found the thought of not drinking a lot worse than the actual occasion. As you say, being fully present and being able to speak to people properly and remember the night fully has made a big difference. I used to think that I was shy and used to use booze as a crutch, but I now find in reality that that was a load of rubbish - maybe I was when I first started drinking as a teenager but I'm now a confident 45 year old woman and I really don't need the booze dragging me down!

Hope you're having a great week!

Chardonnay

Hi HB! You must be coming up to a year AF now? A really amazing achievement! :T

Chardonnay

Hi silverwhistle! Good to hear from you!

It sounds like you have a healthy attitude to alcohol. Only drinking when you're feeling positive sounds like a really good idea. Alcohol does seem to accentuate your mood so it definitely makes sense!

I've got loads of booze in the house too - strangely enough it really doesn't bother me and I don't feel tempted to drink at all. It's mostly booze that has been bought for us. We're having a barbie on Sunday so at least we won't need to stock up and I dare say most of it will be consumed then!