No More Chardonnay for me! My booze-free Diary

Honey_Bear

I was in two minds about this, but I'm going to post it anyway after what happened.

When I was typing that post yesterday Chardonnay I wanted to suggest that it might be nice to meet up if you're heading down to Cornwall via Plymouth. I was going to suggest meeting here but decided against it because it might compromise our anonymity. So, having typed the paragraph and inserted the link, I deleted the whole thing. The website's great on the stuff they make, but the caf!'s fantastic and badly under-represented on the website, and it's in the nicest part of Plymouth, ie The Barbican. So, your call.

Anyway, I had a good old nose around the website, the way you do, and realised that for my 60th birthday next year, rather than go out for a meal which is what we've always done on high days, holidays and for celebrations, what I need is a chocolate-making party for my bestest friends. How cool is that? It means that booze isn't the central point of the evening and it'll be huge fun, plus we get to take our chocolates away at the end of it. It's booked already. And it's all down to you, so Thank You.

Chardonnay

Morning HB! That's funny actually, because when I posted about coming down to Cornwall, I thought about you living in Plymouth and how great it would be to meet! Having thought about it though, as we are going to North Cornwall, it would be quite out of our way and also OH wants us to set off early and get to the resort as soon as possible, as he's counting the days to our first proper break on our own together! So I think that this time, it won't be practical unfortunately but I would love to meet at some point - we have a little plan at the moment, which I can't go into yet but if it comes off, we will hopefully be spending a lot more time in Devon or Cornwall so meeting up then will be top of my list!

I can't see the link obviously, but your birthday plans sound perfect and lovely to do something without booze being the central point. That was so lovely what you said about being down to me - I don't feel like I've helped that much at all! You have helped yourself more than anything but it's great to know that I have had a little part in it! You have helped me more than you know with being AF - you were the person that inspired me to stop drinking on the cutting down thread. We definitely do have to meet up one day!

I love Devon and Cornwall. When we were young, mum and dad had a caravan in the middle of nowhere in Devon and it was so peaceful. It was a great place to explore and we fell in love with so many places. They also owned a holiday flat in Brixham a few years ago and we spent some lovely holidays there. There's something about the West Country - it's where I would always head to in this country for holidays. Recently we have also discovered Dorset, which is also beautiful. It's a good point that you make about supporting the UK economy and I know that we can get good weather in September so really hoping we will this year - it can't be much worse than it is at the moment! I've always been a bit of a sun worshipper but I'm starting to get fed up with the lying around on sun loungers thing. Maybe it's all tied in with not drinking. I feel that this is changing me as a person and making me change my ideas of what I want, and what's important in life. Quite exciting really!

Chardonnay

Apologies for running talk, but I just have to say that I got a personal best at parkrun yesterday! :j I ran my "little" heart out and felt so determined and the feeling after was incredible! I felt on a high all day! We always go for coffee afterwards - a group of us and had a lovely chat and a good laugh. They are such a supportive group and it's so great to spend time with people where drink isn't involved! However, the strange thing is, that when we were sitting there chatting, I suddenly started thinking about booze and started thinking that if we all go out one night (there is talk of going to the cinema so I know that booze wouldn't be involved there anyway!) it wouldn't be the same if I couldn't drink. Then in the car on the way home, I felt euphoric about my run, but then quite bereft that I wouldn't be able to celebrate with booze!

I guess it was all going a bit too smoothly and I was bound to get these thoughts at some time so probably expected, especially as I'm now coming up to my longest period of time completely AF. I started thinking about where these thoughts have come from. As much as Jason Vale's book is brilliant (and it really is!), he says that drinking is nothing to do with habit and I have to say that I disagree with him on this point. With me, it's more the case of my brain saying celebration = alcohol, just like social event = alcohol and meal out = alcohol. They were my drinking habits and it's going to take some rewiring of the brain to reverse those automatic associations.

The thoughts didn't last for long, they disappeared when I got home. I had friends over and we went to the pub for lunch (my suggestion). It didn't even occur to me to drink and I didn't miss it at all. In the past, it would have been unheard of me to go into a pub and not drink if I wasn't driving! My friend had a glass of wine, I just had a lime and soda, which was lovely, with lots of fresh lime and ice. I didn't feel I was missing out at all and I'm starting to find in more and more situations now, my brain is getting used to not drinking alcohol. I guess there will always be some which are going to take a bit more work than others! But I feel that I am forming new habits now and I'm really encouraged by that!

We are hosting a family BBQ today, which will have to be indoors as they've forecast rain all day! :mad: I've got my Becks Blue and mineral water in the fridge, all prepared. Plus booze for whoever wants it of course.

Hope you're having a great weekend HB and also mrsdee and MC and anyone else who is reading!

satchmo1

Congratulations on your PB, woohoo! So proud of you, you've really excelled at repeatedly beating the booze demon, and you are reaping the rewards with health and fitness.

Honey_Bear

Linky fixed in Post #302, sorry about that. Let's leave it that we'll take a raincheck on meeting up.

And I think Jason Vale is wrong; I think the thoughts of drinking as the starting point and central focus of celebrating is habitual. That's only my opinion and I don't know how much of what he's sayingis research based, but believing it is helping me stay sober.

Chardonnay

Ah, thanks Satchmo! I must admit, it's a great feeling and I do think the not drinking has really helped as I feel stronger physically!

Are you still running?

Chardonnay

OK HB. Thanks for fixing the link - that place looks like heaven!

Well done again on your first AF year - really brilliant! :T

I agree with a lot of what Jason Vale has to say - I think he's great and his book is helping me so much. But the habit thing, certainly for me, is one of the major factors in my having had a drink in the past. It was the same with smoking as I was a social smoker more than anything but could get through 20 on a night out! His book's very similar to Allen Carr's - in fact he wrote the book before Allen I think. He worked at Carr's stop smoking clinic. But I find it easier to read as it's written from a slightly younger perspective (he's a similar age to me). I feel I can relate to it more. As I've said before, I gave up smoking with the book on the second reading and have never looked back and I'm starting to feel the same about drinking so I do think these kind of books work for me.

We had our "BBQ" yesterday indoors! It poured with rain all day! :mad: Still had a lovely time with the family though. I stuck to my Becks Blue which I do find a life saver at these occasions. My sister in law was drinking wine and I had a very weak pang of how it would be nice to have a glass, which quickly disappeared. Had such a lovely time, I really don't think it would have been made any better by drinking - in fact I know that it wouldn't! Great to go to bed last night stone cold sober, rather than the drink starting to wear off and feeling grotty!

Have a great Monday everyone!

Honey_Bear

Chardonnay wrote: »

OK HB. Thanks for fixing the link - that place looks like heaven!

It is!

Chardonnay wrote: »

Well done again on your first AF year - really brilliant! :T

Thank you. I'm really, really glad I'm part of a supportive virtual group because I'd arranged to spend most of Saturday, Saturday night and Sunday with out best friends with the intention of thanking them for being so helpful during the past year. Sadly, by the time we arrived they were too !!!!!! for me to want to share the information about the anniversary with them so I didn't mention it. They'd started to drink a lot earlier in the day than I ever did and that kind of killed it for me. And then, of course, on Sunday morning they were hungover so not much better company. I like them a lot, they're both really important to me but ....

There are negatives to giving up, and realising that I have friends who seem to have something like the same problems I did with alcohol is a bit of a facer. I know the couple drinks too much. But I was like that a year ago so I suppose there will have been a lot of people who chose to quietly walk away from me and on reflection I don't blame them.

My life is still 100% better than it was because I don't drink and there isn't a shred of me that was tempted to join them. That passes, I promise, and I only get a pang about once every two months or so now an it only lasts for a minute or so.

Chardonnay wrote: »

It was the same with smoking as I was a social smoker more than anything but could get through 20 on a night out! His book's very similar to Allen Carr's - in fact he wrote the book before Allen I think. He worked at Carr's stop smoking clinic. But I find it easier to read as it's written from a slightly younger perspective (he's a similar age to me). I feel I can relate to it more. As I've said before, I gave up smoking with the book on the second reading and have never looked back and I'm starting to feel the same about drinking so I do think these kind of books work for me.

Whatever works is what's important and I totally get that. I gave up smoking in a very unexpected way and surprised myself by doing so because I was not just a social smoker. I absolutely loved it but I'd known for years that I had to stop and had tried and tried and tried but just couldn't stay stopped. Patches, hypnotherapy, will-power the lot, nothing worked. Then, out of the blue, a situation presented itself and I stopped. Very strangely, a week later both of us had to go through a very, very difficult evening we'd been dreading and I smoked 30 that night and never went back to it again. Odd. Those first two weeks were a bit tricky but I regarded myself as a non-smoker despite that night in the middle of it!

I don't recommend that kind of behaviour as a strategy, by the way. I just think stopping is a mindset and something in our subconscious has shifted when we succeed.

satchmo1

I'm still parkrunning Chardonnay, although because I've not been running mid-week, my times are getting slower. I really need to buck my ideas up mid-week.

MarylandCookie_2

Hi Chardonnay et al, great to hear how well you are all doing, and brilliant news about your PB on your park run - I'm super impressed!

We went away this weekend, had a lovely time, I drank very moderately and mindfully, which is always good for me. Enjoyed a lovely coastal walk on Saturday, was hoping to run - I'm making slow progress on C25K, but always feel so self conscious when I'm running outside on my own so gave it a miss. It's funny because when I see others running/jogging/starting/stopping I always feel envious and wish I had the confidence.

Chardonnay what a shame about the weather for your BBQ, you can always rely on the rubbish British weather :0(

Always lovely to hear how everyone is getting on, have a lovely week everyone x