No More Chardonnay for me! My booze-free Diary

MarylandCookie_2

I love the Old Style Board as well HB, I don't post, but read avidly! It's a great place to pick up hints and tips, as is the DFW board.

No words of wisdom or advice for the Cider Festival Chardonnay, except to focus on how far you've come and how well you're doing, fix that glass of cava in your mind and remember how you felt afterwards. Have you got back into meditating? Just wondered if that might help you?

Hope he run goes well tomorrow, and hope you have a lovely weekend. I shall be sending you lots of positive vibes tomorrow night xx

Chardonnay

Hi HB and MC - thanks for your support! Well I survived the Cider Festival but it wasn't easy and my biggest test so far. We got there early and found a table, which made it a bit easier but when it came to getting drinks - there were of course, a vast array of different ciders which OH enjoyed sampling, but the soft drinks available were pitiful! They were supposed to consist of Coke, Diet Coke, Lemonade, Apple Juice, Orange Juice and Water, which I didn't find particularly inspiring. But actually, they didn't have any apple juice or lemonade after all anyway! The Coke was the last dregs of a bottle which hadn't been in the fridge, so was warm and flat. I had a Diet Coke, orange juice, a coke and a water. I wasn't the only one not drinking thankfully, which did help a bit but it was a looooong night. OH didn't help when he said that as I wouldn't be running for a couple of days, surely it would be fine just to have one cider, but I was resolute that I wasn't drinking and he apologised and said he just felt sorry for me.

I guess it was always going to be hard with being centred around alcohol and I did have a fleeting thought about having a glass of cider but then I thought of how far I've come, how I would feel the next day, how annoyed I would feel with myself. So I stuck it out and watched people getting drunk, actually feeling glad that wasn't me! It didn't help that the food was awful too - we all just picked at it and left most of it. We said we would go next year but will smuggle in our own soft drinks (maybe some Becks Blue?) and also go out to eat before we get there. I think that would make it a lot more enjoyable!

The weekend apart from that was great and very busy! We had a takeaway on Friday night, no alcohol in sight for anyone. Saturday morning OH and I got up early and went for a run along the river in the sunshine - heaven! Then we went over to see lovely MIL and then we went and had lunch in a pub garden in the sunshine, then onto another one by the river. We spent lots of quality time with lovely step daughters and son in law and the weather was perfect. On Sunday morning I drove back and dad came over and we went into yet another pub garden to have lunch! So we spent lots of time in pub gardens and that didn't bother me at all. I really enjoyed just sitting in the sunshine and didn't feel tempted to drink at all.

I felt really really shattered yesterday though. One disappointment with not drinking is that I thought I would feel better on a Monday but that doesn't seem to be the case. However, I do think that the tiredness doesn't last so long, as when drinking, I would feel tired and the under the weather for days on end.

Hope everyone else had a great weekend!

MarylandCookie_2

CHARDONNAY THAT'S AMAZING NEWS!!!!! I couldn't wait to find out how you got on, I was thinking about you over the weekend, I'm so, so happy for you. It must feel even better because it was tough? If it was easy and you didn't feel tempted then it would have been a walk in the park, but because it was tough and you succeeded you must feel even more chuffed - does that make sense?? Hope it does, sorry if not! How many days are you on now? Annie's blog is back, she's on day 3, someone posted how hard the first few days are and to keep on repeating them is painful, and it's true.

The beer festivals I go to have lots of cider and perry, and I find them really tempting, the real ciders I like are flat and cloudy and so/too easy to drink.

Sounds like a lovely weekend, not sure about the tiredness, is it mainly on a Monday? Wonder if you need a check up at the Doctors?

Congratulations again on your fab achievement - have a great rest of the week!

Chardonnay

Hi MC! Thanks! It's so lovely to have your support and know you are rooting for me and it definitely helps to keep my resolve! Yes I know what you mean about feeling great because it was tough. It won't always be easy but getting through the tough times and coming out the other side sober helps to build my confidence that I can do this. That glass of Cava does serve as a warning to me too. It just isn't worth it and psychologically I think it did spell the beginning of the end of my AF period as having to go back to day one again was really gutting!

My OH is very much into the really dry cloudy ciders. He's from Bristol so he's a bit of a cider expert!

You asked before about meditation. I haven't done any for ages. I sort of got a bit bored of the Headspace app and didn't really feel I was getting so much from it. However, I've found a new programme called Mind Calm. It has brilliant reviews - there's a book and a CD or audio download. I really feel ready to try again now. The thing with not drinking is that you can't numb your emotions and worries so they can feel a bit raw, you know? So I think I need something to help me to deal with my worries in a healthy way. Saying that, overall I am definitely much happier with life since stopping drinking.

Yes I saw Annie was back and she was doing so well, such a shame that she lapsed last night. I really hope she can get some sober days behind her and start building up a momentum!

Talking of sober days, I now haven't drank for 60 days so pleased with that. Last time, I think I drank on the 67th day (apart from the glass of Cava) so another week to go before I'm in new territory again!

I finished Jason Vale's book. It was very good but was happy to finish it in the end as it can be repetitive, which is what makes it so effective I know, but I was ready to move on to something else. I am now reading "Mrs D is going without". Well I have to say, that is my favourite book so far - absolutely brilliant - funny and so easy to relate to. I am already over half way through, I don't want to put it down!

As for the tiredness, it is always on a Monday but generally only lasts for one day. I've always suffered with it - when I used to drink a lot at the weekend, I would feel literally ill at my desk. I don't feel ill now obviously but I still feel exhausted. I thought about why that could be and I think it's because on weekdays I go to bed very early - 9pm and read. That is a throwback to when I stopped drinking in the week. I would go to bed mega early to stop the temptation. I then stay up much later at the weekend. Now I don't want to go to bed early on a weekend so I've decided I need to go to bed a bit later in the week. We'll see if that helps!

I ran 10k yesterday morning so I am really pleased to be back to that distance! My foot twinged slightly but seems to be ok so fingers crossed!

You have a great week too MC and thanks again for your support!

satchmo1

Hi Chardonnay, well done on surviving the Cider Festival without succumbing to the not-very-appealing temptation. Perhaps take a picnic next year (with your choice of soft drink on cool-blocks)?


Your Monday tiredness is easily explained when you think of how much you pack in to a weekend.


Maybe try a pedometer app on your phone to see the difference between a desk-bound day and a Saturday? I love my pedometer app, which motivates me to increase my activity. Monday is my lazy day, and I only did about 4000 steps. Saturday, with parkrun, shopping and a garden party I did 18000 steps.


OH is starting a 5-week meditation today, through a council-led mental health initiative. I'm glad, because he's always better when he meditates.

Honey_Bear

Chardonnay wrote: »

Yes I know what you mean about feeling great because it was tough. It won't always be easy but getting through the tough times and coming out the other side sober helps to build my confidence that I can do this.
...
Talking of sober days, I now haven't drank for 60 days so pleased with that. Last time, I think I drank on the 67th day (apart from the glass of Cava) so another week to go before I'm in new territory again!

As for the tiredness, it is always on a Monday but generally only lasts for one day. I've always suffered with it - when I used to drink a lot at the weekend, I would feel literally ill at my desk. I don't feel ill now obviously but I still feel exhausted. I thought about why that could be and I think it's because on weekdays I go to bed very early - 9pm and read. That is a throwback to when I stopped drinking in the week. I would go to bed mega early to stop the temptation. I then stay up much later at the weekend. Now I don't want to go to bed early on a weekend so I've decided I need to go to bed a bit later in the week. We'll see if that helps!

Huge congratulations on the Day 60 mark! :T:T:T

Staying sober at the cider festival sounds a bit grim, and I have more than a little sympathy with you having to grit your teeth and drink warm, flat coke; beyond revolting. *yuk* Being around people who seem intent on drinking until they're so drunk loses its attraction somewhat, doesn't it? I understand why your OH thinks 'just one' would take the hard edge off it, but kudos to you for realising it wouldn't do anyone any good at all.

This will sound odd, but bear with me. The cider festival might be huge fun for the customers, but it's job is to SELL cider. A lot of cider. Vast quantities. The organisers will take a very dim view of people taking their own food and non-alcoholic drinks, so if I were considering doing it, I'd start right now with the plan. Can you email the organisers and say how disappointed you were by the lack of facilities provided for non-drinking partners of those diehards who form the real business basis of what they're doing, and suggest that they stock some decent AF drinks and edible food? The food is probably franchised out anyway, so a few complaints and they might start looking for decent caterers, and most businesses would rather sell you the AF drinks you want than lose the business.

Having said that, the restaurant we go to most often has very, very limited space, with the result that they can only offer a few choices of AF drinks, none of which I like (always for the same reason everywhere, too much sugar). They bend over backwards to accommodate me by not only letting me take in my B***s B**e, they also provide ice for it so that as it warms up during the course of the evening, I don't have to drink it warm. I need to stress that we are very good, regular customers, so they know that we're worth the effort. I certainly wouldn't expect a place I hadn't used before to bend over backwards for me.

Alternatively, if you were prepared to pay the equivalent of 'corkage' over the bar, they'd probably be okay with that, as well. But it is always worth opening up the dialogue now, to help them make customers happy enough to want to go back - at the moment you probably don't want to, much, and they need to know that.

The tiredness thing on Mondays - if you don't feel tired the rest of the week when you go to bed early, but you do on Mondays because you've stayed up late over the weekend, your body is telling you something! If I don't switch the light out by 11.30 pm I'm a bit of a zombie but in my drinking days I always thought it was the booze that made me feel that sh*t. Turns out - I just needed more sleep than I was getting but it's taken me a year to be absolutely certain about that. Not happy, obviously, because I'd like to stay up late every night, reading, but I don't want to feel ca*p during the day so not only have I given up the booze, I've started to switch the light out earlier. Behaving like a grown up sucks sometimes!

Chardonnay

Hi satchmo! Thanks! I'm not sure we would be able to smuggle a picnic in but maybe some drinks! I think we will go out to eat beforehand - that could be the safest bet!

Yes I know, we had such a very busy weekend and late nights too so even though I'm not drinking, it will still take its toll.

The pedometer idea is a brilliant one, thanks! I didn't know you could get an app for your phone. I've got an iphone so I'm definitely going to look into that. I know that I am very sluggish on a Monday and get very little exercise so it could help. I've been to a running club a couple of times on a Monday but it's a bit of a drive and I often haven't felt like it but have to say that afterwards I have felt brilliant so I do think exercise could help if I could just make myself do it!

Wow, you did a lot of steps on Saturday! I guess parkrun helps! Good to see that you are still doing it. I love parkrun, although hard at the time, it's such a great way to start the weekend! I have definitely found that not drinking has made me a stronger runner. Drinking and running just didn't mix for me (obviously not at the same time, that would be fun! )

The meditation initiative sounds great and I really hope it helps your OH and in turn helps you too as I know it must be hard to live with someone suffering mental health issues. I have started reading the Mind Calm book alongside Mrs D's book - I'm a proper bookworm now, reading has helped me so much! It seems really good so far. The challenge for me will be sticking with it but I do think it will be worth it if I can.

Have a great weekend!

Chardonnay

Hi HB! Thanks for the congratulations!

Yes, I thought you would have sympathy and did think of you actually and thought you wouldn't have enjoyed the drinks selection and it gave me strength! I did think of posting on here on the night, when I was struggling a little, but in the end managed to get through myself.

I don't think that what you're suggesting is odd at all and it's something my OH suggested actually. Well he said if I could find somewhere to do a review to mention about the soft drinks but I think if I can find an email address and contact them directly, that is the best option in making sure that they read it. There is no point moaning about it if I don't make my thoughts heard - nothing will change will it if I don't say something! I realise that cider was the main attraction - there were no other alcoholic drinks there but it did say on the website that there would be soft drinks for the drivers and I do think it was pitiful what was provided. It wouldn't have been so bad if they'd have provided what was on the menu but there was a very half hearted approach somehow. I know that the vast majority of people there were drinking but there will always be some people not drinking for various reasons so it just showed a real disregard for the non drinkers in my opinion.

The food - well, none of us are fussy eaters and of course, again, the focus wasn't on the food but it should at least be edible. They were selling hot pork rolls with stuffing. Well the stuffing was just slop. I was starving and did eat as much of the roll that I could manage and a bit of the pork but it really was so unappetising and not cheap either! My step daughter didn't even touch hers and there was a big pile of our left over food on the table at the end of the night so I am definitely going to mention that.

It's great that your local restaurant are so accommodating. That really does help a lot. As you say, if you are good customers it's in their interests to look after you.

I know, I think you are right. My body is telling me something - it doesn't like late nights! A bit rubbish, as you say, and I am certainly not going to bed at 9pm on the weekend but if I can try and be in bed around 11pm hopefully I'll be ok. Obviously that won't always be possible if I am out but I can do it while at home. I guess my body clock is all messed up from the different routines. Yes, how sensible are we?! Although I have to say that since stopping drinking, it's all about the mornings/daytime and the evenings are taking a back seat. That's ok, I can live with that!

Have a lovely weekend!

thriftmonster

I'm finding this as well re the late nights. We got back from the bbq last night at about quarter to eleven and I was ready for bed - but dh wanted to watch a bit of TV. I would have always been the last one up but last night I was sitting there yawning my head off. Got a bit of knitting done to fill the time - really not a TV person and I think a lot of the time I drank wine to fill in the time whilst everyone was watching - how stupid is that:cool:

Honey_Bear

Thriftmonster, that sounds familiar! Although sometimes I'm not sure if I wanted TV so that I could drink! I don't get much out of TV watching these days although there are a few programmes I love, most nights I go to bed and read.

Chardonnay, I find that if I switch the light out by 11.30 every night, the mornings are a pleasure. Any later and I'm hopeless - but there are nights that I want to read something until it's finished, or have to stay out or up because I'm with other people. All I can say about that is, they need to be pretty special!