No More Chardonnay for me! My booze-free Diary

Chardonnay

Ah, sounds like you've got a lot on your plate at the mo. It can be so hard to keep up the exercise and sometimes it has to go on the backburner for a while. It makes sense to wait until after your holidays. Are you off anywhere nice? I want to go on holiday again!! We are going for a week in September, but that seems ages away! Saying that, we have a few things on and weekends away over the Summer - just wish the weather would warm up a bit here!

What is Kon Marie? Never heard of that? Am intrigued now!

I think the foot is gradually getting better thanks, but I think it might be a case of being patient, which is very frustrating for me as I'm not patient at all!

Chardonnay

Hello! Just checking in - hope everyone's ok and had a great BH weekend! Can't believe it's gone already and back to work today!

So, the drinking.....it was our wedding anniversary on Thursday so we went out for something to eat. I had two small glasses of wine and was happy with that! Again, I put the kettle on when we got home and had a cup of tea rather than even being tempted to carry on drinking.

On Saturday night, as it was Eurovision (yes I know it's sad but it's my guilty pleasure OH and I had a couple of bets on it as well) I bought a half bottle of Prosecco as a treat. I really enjoyed that but it seemed to go down far too easily and there was still half an hour of the show to go, with no drink left. OH was drinking vodka and Coke so I asked him to pour me one. I remember thinking it looked a bit of a big measure and a) I should really have poured half of it back into the bottle - it looked like at least a double and b) I didn't really need it in the first place and should have just made a cup of tea! Not majorly disastrous as I did stop at one - when that was gone I didn't drink any more despite us staying up until 1am. I felt tired on Sunday but not too many ill effects so not too much damage done. However, I don't want to go down the slippery slope again when I've been doing so well so will learn from this I think - the half bottle of Prosecco should have been enough!

Apart from this I have had an AF BH weekend and lovely it has been too! We've been pottering around in the garden and got it looking a lot better. We just need some sunshine now to enjoy it! Also, good news, my foot is feeling a lot better so I went out for a tentative jog with OH on his Couch 2 5 K yesterday and it held up OK. I am still wary of doing too much too soon so will just go out with him on his jogs as I know I'll go slower and won't try to do too much. It was so great to be able to go out again! :j

In less positive news the daily meditation has gone out of the window! I keep telling myself I will start again tomorrow but never do. Must do better!

Oh and I had a lovely email from Belle asking how I was doing and saying she's still there if I want a sober penpal - she's amazing!

Hope you've all had a lovely BH weekend!

Chardonnay

Helloooo!!! I meant to post this yesterday - I read about the Horizon programme about drinking on Soberistas. I know it's in the Daily Fail but it certainly makes scary reading!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3086908/What-s-really-unhealthier-binge-drinking-small-daily-tipple-results-unique-experiment-identical-twin-doctors-surprise-you.html

No wonder I felt so ill for a week after a drinking binge! It really is very sobering (excuse the pun!)

Another AFD for me and happy with how things are going. Going to try my foot out again today and go for a gentle jog with OH.

Still no meditation! Oops!

MarylandCookie_2

Sorry I've not posted Chardonnay, the black dog of depression is hanging around again. I'm reading and thinking of you but not able to post much xx

Chardonnay

So sorry to hear that MC You be kind to yourself and take the time out that you need. Thinking of you and hope you feel better soon. xx

Honey_Bear

I hope things start to feel a bit less grim very soon, Maryland Cookie.

Ah, yes, Chardonnay, that Horizon programme. I heard about it somewhere, probably on Radio 4, and was so interested I put a reminder in my phone, but for the wrong night. Much to my relief it was the following night, so by the time it was actually shown I was really primed for it. The really scarey aspect for me is that they are two, young-ish, fit, healthy men and even their bodies struggled to cope with the recommended maximum number of units, regardless of whether they binged or spread it out. I have asbolutely no idea how much damage I've done to my body over the years but I'm so relieved I'm not doing it any more.

I think it's a bit like smoking - when anyone talks about the risks of smoking we find it very easy to think it won't happen to us, or that if it does it will be so far into the future that it doesn't count. Stopping smoking, like stopping drinking, are things that we can only do when we're ready - and knowing we should is only part of the decision.

Chardonnay

Hi HB! I hadn't heard about the Horizon programme beforehand but I am definitely going to try and get it on catch up. It is really scary isn't it? Like you, I wonder what damage I must have done to my body over the years. When you think they only drank up to the recommended limit too! I dread to think how many times over that I have gone in nights out in the past. I think I am also one of those people that drink really doesn't agree with. I've had the red face thing - although only on the odd occasion. I have also had occasions where I haven't felt right for days after a binge. This explains why and really is food for thought.

OH and I went to the pub for tea last night. Long story but teenage daughter has moved in with her boyfriend and his family. She is young and in love and very hard to get through to! His mum is a lovely person though and I am telling myself she is in good hands and only half an hour down the road. We are secretly hoping that the novelty wears off and she comes home soon! At the same time, I just want her to be happy and she has had years of severe anxiety problems when she couldn't live a normal life so I do sleep better at night knowing that at least she is happy now. She's also enrolled in a college course for September, which I think she will really do well at, so at least her life has some direction now.

Anyway, back to the point! DD, her boyfriend and his mum came over to collect some of her stuff last night. Had a long chat to his mum who has the same misgivings as me as to why they have to rush headlong into this step but we've agreed to see how it goes and keep in regular contact. They were here until 7pm so we decided the easiest thing would be to go to the pub for tea! I had two small glasses of wine with my meal. When we got home we sat in the garden and had a cup of tea.

I had a really bad night's sleep and feel tired and dehydrated this morning! Also, when I first started my meds, I had some headaches on the side of my head, which gradually stopped as I got used to them. They would always start in the evening. I've noticed when I drink, they often come back and it did last night. I had heard that drinking while on ADs could enhance the side effects. So it's another thing to think about. Deep down, I think I know that drinking doesn't suit me - particularly wine, but it's so hard when I enjoy it at the time!

We have a big day and night a week on Saturday as it's OH's big birthday party. We have booked a hotel and have over 80 people coming, disco etc. Really looking forward to it! In the daytime a few of us are going to the races in hospitality - 3 course meal etc. This is going to be an interesting day with regards to drinking. A very big test, so we shall see how I get on with not getting carried away!

So, I'm committing to not drinking again until then. I will need to anyway to reach this month's target!

Hope everyone has a good weekend. MC, I hope you're ok. Thinking of you. xx

Chardonnay

Helloooo!! No more drinking for me since my last post. I bought a half bottle of Prosecco yesterday and put it in the fridge as I thought I fancied a drink (despite saying that I wouldn't drink until next Saturday! ) But when it came to last night, I felt tired and just didn't feel like it. I think I would have been drinking it for the sake of it and I knew I would regret it today. Not that it's a lot in itself but it doesn't seem to take much to affect me these days and I've got too much to do today to waste time feeling below par.

Of course I am very pleased that I didn't have a drink now! I am not bothering with AF drinks at home now. I think because I have got out of the habit of drinking at home I now don't feel the need to have a glass in my hand. I'd much rather have a cup of tea! I've set my target on the cutting down thread to 22 for June. That'll give me two days a week to have a drink if I want to and I think that should be more than enough.

Hope everyone is ok and having a nice weekend.

safehouse

well done chardonnay and everyone else on giving up I really wish you all well. I have lived with this problem for almost 20 years, my situation a lot different to yourselves, with me and trust me this really isn’t a criticism I live with someone with a major drink problem. I wish he would join this site and I am sure the help and encouragement from others would give him strength. The life I have can sometimes be unbearable, always living on a knife edge and never really feeling fully relaxed. Although my partner try’s to cut down on alcohol he never really lasts for more than a few days. I think maybe sometimes people forget the impact this has on loved ones living with someone with this problem. Please don’t feel I am being judgmental in anyway, I have no one to talk to about this and writing it down gives me a feeling of release. I am really trying to get us out of debt, and the cost of everyday alcohol adds up, but this really doesn't even enter his mind, I am rambling on I know so I will close with Good luck in the future xx

Chardonnay

Hi Safehouse. So sorry to hear about the situation with your OH. It certainly is interesting to see it from the other side but it sounds like your life has been so negatively affected by his drinking - it must be so very hard for you.

I guess your OH hasn't received professional help for his drinking? The problem is that as we've said many times, the person with the alcohol problem has to really want to get help otherwise of course it won't work.

It's really upsetting to hear that your life is unbearable and you're living on a knife edge. It is so hard to know what to say to help but you are very welcome to carry on writing on here if it helps to get it off your chest!

This website has helped me so much in so many ways - from reducing my debt (although I still have some way to go with that, it is going in the right direction and I have changed my mindset) to cutting down on my drinking. The Cutting down/giving up alcohol thread is a wonderful resource on here - the support is phenomenal and everyone is so non-judgemental.

Look after yourself xx