No More Chardonnay for me! My booze-free Diary

dalleDF

Hi all, hope everyone is well. I passed my 4-month sober mark this week, pleased to report I am getting a lot more stuff done, have been working out at 7am like those smug morning exercise people I used to hate, now I am one! What happened??
Last night I went to a bar to watch the boxing, there were, predictably, some really very drunk guys in there. By the end they were literally shouting themselves hoarse but not really even watching the fight, just swearing at the TV and each other, and wobbling about. One guy was too drunk and had to have a little sleep sitting in his chair during the first half. Lol. I'm so glad I don't spend my time witnessing those kind of antics anymore. It's nice to be off the booze rollercoaster. The longest I had gone without alcohol before was 3 months, and I really think this time around it is easier, that extra month has seen the pangs and the cravings lessen a lot, I don't really think about much anymore, just every now and then. My 180 day challenge end date lands in the middle of a summer festival, which might be difficult. Trying to cross that bridge when I come to it and not stress in advance.

Honey_Bear

DalleDF, that's marvellous news, hearing that you're enjoying your sober life and able to stand back and observe behaviours without feeling pangs and wanting to join in. That's a real mindset change and one that some people find difficult to get through.

It seems to me there will always be something in the future that we want to be able to enjoy the old way but by the time you get there you may feel that you've got too much to do, see and enjoy at the festival to waste time getting drunk and then feeling carp the next day. That's what did it for me in the end over Christmas - I just couldn't make myself want to write off Boxing Day enough as I always had in the olden days to join in the drinking.

Seeing OH last night thoroughly enjoying celebrating didn't make me think any the less of him because I know how much it all meant to him. However, it did highlight for me that I was just very, very glad I didn't do it any more, which kind of helped at 5.00 am this morning when the new-to-me dog decided that he needed to have a barking-fest, and I felt chipper enough to take him out in case it was a digestive emergency. Had I had my customary at-least-half a bottle of red (and the rest) I would have been stumbling around Plymouth Hoe feeling very grim indeed. Very, very glad those days are gone.

Chardonnay

flanno wrote: »

Hi to Chardonnay, Honey Bear et al.

Thank you HB for the kind helpful comments. I am now on day 8 but did have some vino last night as was out for dinner with OH so decided that I would have a few glasses. However despite eating two courses, and drinking a large bottle of water with the meal and vino - this morning (Saturday) I awoke at 6am feeling rather the worse for wear. Today we were going to my brother in laws 70th birthday and I had already decided that I would drive so wouldn't drink. Feeling unwell certainly helped me to keep that although by the time we went to the party I felt a lot better so it wasn't a case of only not drinking because I felt unwell. I relearned a valuable lesson last night, myself and vino dont mix well so I am now back on track. I am not saying I will never drink vino again, but I am certainly not going to drink at home any more, and will only have 1-2 glasses when out and only with a meal so food is consumed.

I know its not going to be easy but I am glad I have re learned this valuable lesson.

Best of luck to everyone in their own challenges and day to day ways of coping. Starting meditation tomorrow.

Namaste
Marie.

Hi Flanno! Well done on staying sober at the party! :T I know exactly what you mean about wine - that's my downfall too. It's so heavy and makes me feel so rubbish the next day. It's good that you are learning what works for you!

How did the meditation go?

Chardonnay

dalleDF wrote: »

Hi all, hope everyone is well. I passed my 4-month sober mark this week, pleased to report I am getting a lot more stuff done, have been working out at 7am like those smug morning exercise people I used to hate, now I am one! What happened??
Last night I went to a bar to watch the boxing, there were, predictably, some really very drunk guys in there. By the end they were literally shouting themselves hoarse but not really even watching the fight, just swearing at the TV and each other, and wobbling about. One guy was too drunk and had to have a little sleep sitting in his chair during the first half. Lol. I'm so glad I don't spend my time witnessing those kind of antics anymore. It's nice to be off the booze rollercoaster. The longest I had gone without alcohol before was 3 months, and I really think this time around it is easier, that extra month has seen the pangs and the cravings lessen a lot, I don't really think about much anymore, just every now and then. My 180 day challenge end date lands in the middle of a summer festival, which might be difficult. Trying to cross that bridge when I come to it and not stress in advance.

Well done dalle! Interesting to hear that it gets easier after 3 months. I think that there are stages that you go through when you stop drinking and it does seem like you need to give it a significant amount of time to really change that mindset. Not surprising really, considering how long we were drinking before stopping.

Well done for getting up early and exercising. I'm one of those smug early morning exercisers too! Ha ha! If I don't do it first thing though, I know I'll talk myself out of it. I love getting out in the early morning fresh air - it's a great start to the day, better than starting it with a hangover for sure!

Chardonnay

Honey_Bear wrote: »

DalleDF, that's marvellous news, hearing that you're enjoying your sober life and able to stand back and observe behaviours without feeling pangs and wanting to join in. That's a real mindset change and one that some people find difficult to get through.

It seems to me there will always be something in the future that we want to be able to enjoy the old way but by the time you get there you may feel that you've got too much to do, see and enjoy at the festival to waste time getting drunk and then feeling carp the next day. That's what did it for me in the end over Christmas - I just couldn't make myself want to write off Boxing Day enough as I always had in the olden days to join in the drinking.

Seeing OH last night thoroughly enjoying celebrating didn't make me think any the less of him because I know how much it all meant to him. However, it did highlight for me that I was just very, very glad I didn't do it any more, which kind of helped at 5.00 am this morning when the new-to-me dog decided that he needed to have a barking-fest, and I felt chipper enough to take him out in case it was a digestive emergency. Had I had my customary at-least-half a bottle of red (and the rest) I would have been stumbling around Plymouth Hoe feeling very grim indeed. Very, very glad those days are gone.

Hi HB! Great that you are still enjoying the benefits of a sober life and I guess those benefits will only get greater! I bet it was a great feeling being able to get up so early with the dog and get out in the fresh air feeling awake!

I saw the photo of your new dog on the other thread - he's lovely!

Chardonnay

Can't believe the BH weekend has gone so quickly! No work today as I have an appointment at the hospital for a scan and to see the consultant. It's my first appointment since the op and I'm not sure if I'll find anything out yet, but I'm keeping everything crossed that the op was a success!

I had a drink on Saturday night, the first one in over a week. OH and I went to the pub for tea and I had a single G&T and a large glass of wine. I really enjoyed them but didn't feel tempted to drink when I got home. I had a cup of tea instead I did feel a bit tired later and went to bed earlier than I normally would. I also woke up at 3am and it took me a while to get back to sleep. But I felt ok on Sunday, and had a nice day. I haven't drank since. I feel like Flanno, I am learning what works for me and what doesn't. I think I need to go easy on the wine as that's what seems to really hit me for six. I doubt I will drink until next weekend now.

I did parkrun on Saturday morning and was really pleased with my time. I also ran 10k yesterday morning, for only the second time, and the first time since my op. I did it 6 minutes faster than the first time so was really pleased! At the moment, I feel that running comes before booze. I knew I'd be ok to just have a couple on Saturday night as I wouldn't be running until Monday. In the past, booze has come before everything and that is not going to happen again! I feel a lot stronger with my running and I'm sure that's down to cutting right back on my alcohol intake.

Debt-wise, I have paid £800 off my Barclaycard, which I am pleased with. I'm just waiting for my loan to update and then I'll re-jig my signature.

Hope everyone has a good day!

Chardonnay

Hello, me again! Just to say that I've returned from my mega long day at the hospital. Had a scan this morning and saw the consultant this afternoon. He didn't have the full scan results yet but he did have the photos and he was able to determine that my good kidney is still fine and the bad one - the function has actually gone up by 4% from the last scan 18 months ago, and strangely enough it's gone up by 15% from the first scan they did 3 years ago!

As they did say that the op wouldn't improve the function but should prevent it getting any worse, I'd say this is quite a result! :T He says as far as he can see, the op worked and unless anything is thrown up in the written results, I don't need to go back for 9 months! Yay! Then if all ok with the new scan, it would just be two yearly check ups! :j

I am so pleased and relieved. It has made me think even more about drinking. I do wonder whether my cutting right back on my drinking has helped. It does have to be taken into consideration I think. And it gives me even more incentive to carry on being sensible!

MarylandCookie_2

Hi Chardonnay, great news on the scan results and on the running. You're doing really well - you must feel really chuffed with yourself.

I'm on the same page as you drink wise I think. I have had one or two drinks over the weekend, but definitely not over indulged. I drove as planned to my social events, I've been to the gym and meditated a fair bit too. I googled free guided mediation and found one called the secret garden, it was really good and I felt a lot of benefit from it.

It's great to be here and I find the thread really helpful and inspirational.

Have a lovely evening everyone xx

Chardonnay

Thanks MC! I am pleased, although since that 10k run I've had a problem with my foot and also jarred my back so not feeling great. I think I have been doing a bit too much running, with going out with OH on his Couch 25k too. I'm having a break until Monday, which is hard, but I think my body is telling me to slow down a bit!

Well done on only having one or two drinks over the weekend! We do seem to be on the same page with drinking. And well done for driving. You seem to be really getting a healthier relationship with alcohol. Are you starting to feel you have a more "Take it or leave it" attitude rather than your happiness depending on it? I definitely am. In fact I'm realising that my happiness depends on NOT drinking too much as it drags me down.

Well done on the meditation. That website sounds interesting. I will definitely have a look at that. I'm still using Headspace but at some point may look to move on to something else so always looking for new recommendations.

Don't know if anyone here watches Emmerdale? It's the only soap I bother with at the moment. One of its main story lines is Laurel having a drink problem and it's pretty scary watching her journey into alcoholism and that she's risking everything to carry on drinking (secretly). Definitely food for thought!

It's great having you here too MC - everyone here makes the thread what it is!

Have a great day all!

Honey_Bear

Chardonnay wrote: »

I really enjoyed them but didn't feel tempted to drink when I got home. I had a cup of tea instead I did feel a bit tired later and went to bed earlier than I normally would. I also woke up at 3am and it took me a while to get back to sleep. But I felt ok on Sunday, and had a nice day. I haven't drank since. ....

Debt-wise, I have paid £800 off my Barclaycard, which I am pleased with.

I don't know if the two are related, but both are such good news - well done!

Chardonnay wrote: »

Hello, me again! Just to say that I've returned from my mega long day at the hospital. Had a scan this morning and saw the consultant this afternoon. He didn't have the full scan results yet but he did have the photos and he was able to determine that my good kidney is still fine and the bad one - the function has actually gone up by 4% from the last scan 18 months ago, and strangely enough it's gone up by 15% from the first scan they did 3 years ago! ....

I do wonder whether my cutting right back on my drinking has helped. It does have to be taken into consideration I think. And it gives me even more incentive to carry on being sensible!

I don't know if they're related either, but again it's such good news that has go be in the mix for consideration. I'm so happy for you that it was good news; long may it last.

I'm not going to say I'm jealous of people being able to drink in moderation because after nine months of being AF this feels so right for me and I know I couldn't moderate if I started again. What I will say is HUGE CONGRATULATIONS for everyone that gets their drinking under control when they realise that things can build up and takes action to deal with it. I am a great believer in everything in moderation where possible and appropriate.