No More Chardonnay for me! My booze-free Diary

flanno_2

No More Chardonnay for me! My booze-free Diary

Hi Chardonnay hope you don't mind me posting in your diary. I have read your diary from start to finish and am very impressed with your determination and how you have addressed the issues you faced with alcohol and also how you have implemented new lifestyle choices such as running and meditation in order to keep your focus and improve your life especially with the kidney issue you mentioned - health is indeed wealth.

I am at the start of the journey, only 2 days alcohol free (including today!) so its a long journey ahead. I have been drinking steadily for about 30+ years (for more years than I care to remember) I am 56 now and look tired, feel tired and lack energy and have lost my 'mojo'. Well I have decided I want it back so am going to do a 28 day challenger to get started. They say it takes 28 days to change a habit so thats my goal initially.

I will be following your diary and note your decision to drink moderately and occasionally as and when you feel like it and I applaud your honesty and candour.

Wish me luck.

Flanno

MarylandCookie_2

Hi Chardonnay,

Just back from a week in sunny Spain, have had intermittent wifi access, I've been reading but not been able to post.

You have been in my thoughts a lot, and I respect how you have been really open, honest and candid in your posts. HB's posts are always full of wisdom and are thoughtfully put together. Thank you HB I really feel inspired by your responses.

Chardonnay I feel like we are walking a very similar path, I wasn't successful at not drinking on holiday, but I was successful in moderating, and being thoughtful in how much I drank, which I feel really proud of.

I'm not ready to commit to not drinking, but am committed to moderating and not getting drunk or drinking to excess. And to be honest, I feel really happy and comfortable with that, and it's made me feel like I want a drink even less. For example I've not had a drink since I've been back from holiday, I've got a works do Friday which I'm driving to, and a night out Saturday with OH that I've also offered to drive.

I wondered subconsciously that if because I've said I will drink if I want, I don't want to, if I tell myself I can't have something, I always want it!

Great news about the meditation, I'm not meditating as much as I'd like, but I'm hoping to focus on this more in the coming weeks, sometimes it's so hard isn't it?

Anyway, enough rambling from me! I just wanted you to know that whatever you decide, it's your path, your journey and your choice. Keep posting, it's always great to hear from you.

Have a great week xx

Honey_Bear

Chardonnay wrote: »

I'm so so sorry to hear that you didn't succeed in doing what you wanted to do. That makes me really sad. .... As you say, at least you had a go and you will always know that you gave it your best, but maybe it just wasn't meant to be?

Thank you for that paragraph, Chardonnay. I've had a couple of months of finding a couple of things very difficult to comes to terms with, and last night OH and I agreed a possible way forward. Knowing that other people are wishing me well really makes a huge difference when things aren't going smoothly so your comments are much appreciated.

I'm not a saint, I try and fail all the time at things I want to be able to do (but probably don't work hard enough at) and am probably a better virtual friend than in real life, but I hope, on balance, I get more a bit right than wrong. Going AF was probably the single best thing I've achieved in the past year and everything else good has flowed from it.

Chardonnay wrote: »

The consultants have always said that drinking in moderation is fine for me. But I haven't drank in moderation in the past - too much binge drinking! ....

I am finding that I am obsessing less about drinking now that I know that I can have one if I want one. I hope that this will work for me but I know what I'll have do if it doesn't!

Decades ago some research was published that showed that the health outcomes for teetotallers were worse than for people who drank. The explanation, it then said, was that most people who don't drink at all probably don't because of an underlying health condition and that drinking in moderation (and they stressed what that actually meant, and it wasn't half a bottle a night with binge-fests on the weekend) can be beneficial. If you can get the balance right and enjoy the occasional drinks then do it.

I stopped because there was a night when I knew I had to - I actually knew it that night. I've said it repeatedly - if I could moderate I would - and if you can, and going AF was making you unhappy for no good reason, even the bible says a little wine is a good thing.

flanno wrote: »

I am at the start of the journey, only 2 days alcohol free (including today!) so its a long journey ahead. I have been drinking steadily for about 30+ years (for more years than I care to remember) I am 56 now and look tired, feel tired and lack energy and have lost my 'mojo'. Well I have decided I want it back so am going to do a 28 day challenger to get started. They say it takes 28 days to change a habit so thats my goal initially.

Wish me luck.

Hi there Flanno! I know this is Chardonnay's diary but I'm sure she won't mind me saying 'Good Luck!'

I started with a 100 Day Challenge because a 28 Day one didn't occur to me! You and I are around the same age (I'm a little bit older) and when I stopped I'd been drinking steadily increasing amounts for 20 years. If I could have done it sooner, I would have, but it's worked largely because of all the support I've been given.

I'm sure Chardonnay won't also mind my showing you this thread which you might also find helpful and is where we both started off. I find having posting rituals very helpful on my alcohol-free journey, so I post on both threads.

Chardonnay

flanno wrote: »

No More Chardonnay for me! My booze-free Diary

Hi Chardonnay hope you don't mind me posting in your diary. I have read your diary from start to finish and am very impressed with your determination and how you have addressed the issues you faced with alcohol and also how you have implemented new lifestyle choices such as running and meditation in order to keep your focus and improve your life especially with the kidney issue you mentioned - health is indeed wealth.

I am at the start of the journey, only 2 days alcohol free (including today!) so its a long journey ahead. I have been drinking steadily for about 30+ years (for more years than I care to remember) I am 56 now and look tired, feel tired and lack energy and have lost my 'mojo'. Well I have decided I want it back so am going to do a 28 day challenger to get started. They say it takes 28 days to change a habit so thats my goal initially.

I will be following your diary and note your decision to drink moderately and occasionally as and when you feel like it and I applaud your honesty and candour.

Wish me luck.

Flanno

Hi Flanno! :wave: Of course I don't mind you posting - lovely to hear from you! Thanks so much for your kind words. You are so right, health is wealth - it is so important and we don't realise how important it is until we don't have it any more.

Best of luck with your challenge! 28 days is definitely a great start - not drinking for a month back in October is what got me really thinking about my drinking. I know the feeling and looking tired feeling! Hopefully once you get a few AF days under your belt you will start to see and feel a difference. As I said earlier in my diary, when I was completely AF, there were days when I felt better than I can remember. It's a really exciting journey and I'm really looking forward to hearing how you get on!

Please keep us posted Flanno!

Chardonnay

MarylandCookie wrote: »

Hi Chardonnay,

Just back from a week in sunny Spain, have had intermittent wifi access, I've been reading but not been able to post.

You have been in my thoughts a lot, and I respect how you have been really open, honest and candid in your posts. HB's posts are always full of wisdom and are thoughtfully put together. Thank you HB I really feel inspired by your responses.

Chardonnay I feel like we are walking a very similar path, I wasn't successful at not drinking on holiday, but I was successful in moderating, and being thoughtful in how much I drank, which I feel really proud of.

I'm not ready to commit to not drinking, but am committed to moderating and not getting drunk or drinking to excess. And to be honest, I feel really happy and comfortable with that, and it's made me feel like I want a drink even less. For example I've not had a drink since I've been back from holiday, I've got a works do Friday which I'm driving to, and a night out Saturday with OH that I've also offered to drive.

I wondered subconsciously that if because I've said I will drink if I want, I don't want to, if I tell myself I can't have something, I always want it!

Great news about the meditation, I'm not meditating as much as I'd like, but I'm hoping to focus on this more in the coming weeks, sometimes it's so hard isn't it?

Anyway, enough rambling from me! I just wanted you to know that whatever you decide, it's your path, your journey and your choice. Keep posting, it's always great to hear from you.

Have a great week xx

Hello MC! Lovely to hear from you! Did you have a nice holiday?

Thanks for your lovely words. The support on this thread is incredible! :T Well done for moderating on holiday! It seems like you have got to a really good place with your drinking. I would be so happy if I could get to that place too. Like you, I feel that now I have told myself I can have a drink if I really want one, I have stopped obsessing about it and it's made me not want one so much. It doesn't feel like forbidden fruit now and doesn't seem so tempting! I haven't had a drink over the weekend and won't have one unless I really want one. It's great that you are committing to drive to social events and not drink. It shows more of a "take it or leave it" attitude!

I know what you mean about meditating. Firstly, it can be hard to make yourself put aside those few minutes a day when your brain is telling you that you have other things to do. It is now part of my routine though. I do it as soon as I get up and that seems to work for me. I have had to make it a bit of a priority in my life so that when I think to myself that I don't really have time to do it, I quickly dismiss that thought and just get on with it as I know I'll wish that I had if I don't!

I also find it hard sitting there trying to concentrate on my breathing. Some days I sit there and my mind is constantly wandering off and I realise I've been thinking about other things for a couple of minutes! But other days I can have reasonable periods of just concentrating. It always makes me feel calm and I always feel like I am getting something out of it and it does make you see thoughts for what they are. As my main problem is I think too much, I think it's definitely helping! So definitely worth persevering with I think

Thanks, it's great to hear from you too so please keep posting! Have a happy Monday

Chardonnay

Honey_Bear wrote: »

Thank you for that paragraph, Chardonnay. I've had a couple of months of finding a couple of things very difficult to comes to terms with, and last night OH and I agreed a possible way forward. Knowing that other people are wishing me well really makes a huge difference when things aren't going smoothly so your comments are much appreciated.

I'm not a saint, I try and fail all the time at things I want to be able to do (but probably don't work hard enough at) and am probably a better virtual friend than in real life, but I hope, on balance, I get more a bit right than wrong. Going AF was probably the single best thing I've achieved in the past year and everything else good has flowed from it.



Decades ago some research was published that showed that the health outcomes for teetotallers were worse than for people who drank. The explanation, it then said, was that most people who don't drink at all probably don't because of an underlying health condition and that drinking in moderation (and they stressed what that actually meant, and it wasn't half a bottle a night with binge-fests on the weekend) can be beneficial. If you can get the balance right and enjoy the occasional drinks then do it.

I stopped because there was a night when I knew I had to - I actually knew it that night. I've said it repeatedly - if I could moderate I would - and if you can, and going AF was making you unhappy for no good reason, even the bible says a little wine is a good thing.



Hi there Flanno! I know this is Chardonnay's diary but I'm sure she won't mind me saying 'Good Luck!'

I started with a 100 Day Challenge because a 28 Day one didn't occur to me! You and I are around the same age (I'm a little bit older) and when I stopped I'd been drinking steadily increasing amounts for 20 years. If I could have done it sooner, I would have, but it's worked largely because of all the support I've been given.

I'm sure Chardonnay won't also mind my showing you this thread which you might also find helpful and is where we both started off. I find having posting rituals very helpful on my alcohol-free journey, so I post on both threads.

Hi HB! I'm pleased to hear that you and your OH have agreed a possible way forward and hope it works for you! Well none of us are saints and I can't comment on how you are in real life but you are a pretty awesome, inspirational virtual friend and you have helped me so much, that's all I know! :T

Yes, I guess there are a lot of tee-totallers who don't drink for health reasons so that explanation would make sense. I really don't see how not drinking could be worse for your health than drinking. In reality, our bodies weren't designed to cope with the poison of alcohol (and it is a poison after all) so it must be a huge benefit if you don't drink. The only positives I guess are the relaxation benefits (and then, probably no more than 1-2 drinks is advisable) but if you can find healthy ways to relax, rather than drink, that has got to be so much better for you. I know people who say that drink helps them sleep but I always sleep so much better on nights that I don't drink. It might make me sleepy but I will always have a fitful night.

The link between alcohol and breast cancer worries me too and I know that's something you've mentioned before. All of these things stack up and make you realise how important it is to have a sensible relationship with alcohol.

Of course I don't mind you saying good luck to Flanno! I may have started this thread, but it's a thread for anybody who wants to contribute and it wouldn't be the thread it is without you all! I would also recommend the thread that HB linked to Flanno! I still post on there every day too and it's such a supportive thread. It has helped me so much!

Have a great day all!

flanno_2

Hi Chardonnay and hi to Honey Bear as well.

Thank you for your kind words and welcoming messages.
It is day 3 for me and I am particularly happy as last night I met a friend in a pub as she had just had a bad situation with her b/f and needed a chat. I was driving anyway but only had a soda water and lime and felt really pleased with myself. I know it is VERY early days but one step at a time eh?

:j

Day to day it should be OK but Saturday will be a test as my brother in law has a big birthday with an 0 in it so there is a party to go to and all that entails. But I will prevail.

Talk soon
Marie.

flanno_2

Honey_Bear wrote: »

Thank you for that paragraph, Chardonnay.
Hi there Flanno! I know this is Chardonnay's diary but I'm sure she won't mind me saying 'Good Luck!'

I started with a 100 Day Challenge because a 28 Day one didn't occur to me! You and I are around the same age (I'm a little bit older) and when I stopped I'd been drinking steadily increasing amounts for 20 years. If I could have done it sooner, I would have, but it's worked largely because of all the support I've been given.

I'm sure Chardonnay won't also mind my showing you this thread which you might also find helpful and is where we both started off. I find having posting rituals very helpful on my alcohol-free journey, so I post on both threads.

Hi Honey Bear many thanks for posting those kind comments and the link to the Giving Up Cutting Down alcohol page - I will be keeping an eye on all these helpful posts for inspiration and determination.

All the very best with your own journey. I was trying to find your page, do you have a forum page yourself?

Marie.

Chardonnay

flanno wrote: »

Hi Chardonnay and hi to Honey Bear as well.

Thank you for your kind words and welcoming messages.
It is day 3 for me and I am particularly happy as last night I met a friend in a pub as she had just had a bad situation with her b/f and needed a chat. I was driving anyway but only had a soda water and lime and felt really pleased with myself. I know it is VERY early days but one step at a time eh?

:j

Day to day it should be OK but Saturday will be a test as my brother in law has a big birthday with an 0 in it so there is a party to go to and all that entails. But I will prevail.

Talk soon
Marie.

Well done Marie, that's brilliant! It's such a great feeling isn't it, these little victories all add up and they make you feel great about yourself and what you're achieving.

Ah, these social occasions are always going to be a bit more testing. You'll see from my diary that that's what I've often struggled with the most, but in reality they have often been much better than I've expected and I've enjoyed them just as much if not more than when I was drinking.

Keep going, you're doing really well! :T

Chardonnay

Feeling good today. No drinking and very little thinking about drinking. I actually feel a little lost now as I was spending a lot of my time reading books and blogs about alcohol but haven't been doing that since my decision to moderate. I need to find something else to read I think! Or maybe I should carry on?

Hoping to run 8k this morning - beautiful day so looking forward to that. Don't you find that the sunshine makes such a difference to your mood? :cool: