The single track road - life on a different path

MeandO

I don't know why I'm deliberating over it, I'm here to pay off the debt, so £150 has just been paid to the loan as an extra payment. I'd only justify spending it on something else otherwise.

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stepuptothepl8

MeandO wrote: »

Thanks for all your well wishes to Mummy MeandO
<snip>
Please don't think me heartless, it's the only way to get through whilst living so far away and being pretty helpless to the situation.
<snip>

Him really stepped up to dealing with his daughter's poor behaviour we've been putting up with past few weeks/months. He talked to her about lots of things, finally put some boundaries in place and reassured her about things she was obviously a bit frightened/unsure about and the result was a much happier little girl who was a joy to be around this weekend, who went to bed at a (fairly) decent time (for her;)), and was exceptionally well behaved.
He surprised me - I really didn't think he'd do it.
<snip>
Tomorrow I plan to hit the cross trainer again.

Much love all
x

You are coping brilliantly with a rubbish situation.. Glad your mum is out of hospital and I hope they can find a way to manage her pain more effectively.

Am SO glad to read this about Him - excellent news!!

And I'm jealous about the cross trainer. Just so you know!

Lots of love xxx

MeandO

Thanks Stepup xx


Well, I'm feeling like the worst mother on earth.
Had an awful time with DS over dinner tonight. As many of you know, his diet is so restricted due to his ongoing issues with food and I'm desperately trying to get him to at least taste new foods. Tonight was jelly. Can you believe it, my 4 year old won't touch jelly. After barely touching the dinner that he usually will eat, saying he doesn't like it, I presented us both with a tiny bowl of jelly. I won't go over it, but it resulted in a complete and utter battle of wills, both of us in tears, me shouting at him and him going to bed early. He will probably never touch jelly now for the rest of his life.


I feel like such a failure of a Mum and am sat here in floods of tears. He's my World, why on earth did I make him feel so bad over a plate of jelly for god's sake.


He's having an introductory week to school dinners this week for when he is full time at school and I'm so worried about him not eating all day and being hungry. The term 'he'll eat it if he's really hungry' doesn't apply to my son - he'd rather go without and starve himself than try something new.


I'm feeling so fed up, sad and a little bit angry about everything at the moment.
I'm tired, I'm lonely, I'm sick of the debt, the insecurity I feel with OH, the lack of friends and family around me, my lack of confidence, my weight, lack of money, not being able to spend more time with Ds, the constant stream of bad news from home, everything. Everything is getting to me. I just want things to get better.


I don't feel 'depressed down' I just feel 'sick of it all' down if that makes sense! I just would like a break from all the cr&p for a change. Some good news would be bloody great!


Guess the bath and a night of YNAB is calling me. I need to stay in control of the budget if nothing else.


Sorry, rant over. Made me feel a bit better.


XX

apple_muncher

Well done on the 150 going on the debt repayment:T.

I totally get you with ds and his eating. I learned very early on that to offer dd something several times would only make her more definite on refusing it. Dh used to keep offering her things after she had said 'no thank you' and I had to repeatedly take him to task over it.

She will also sit around a table and let everyone else eat, not touching a thing herself. Not even sweetsunless theyhave been checked by me, and if they have no ingredients listed on them, she'll give them to daddy.

We have a sticker chart for her'yummy new foods'on which she crossed out the 'yummy'! And there are 24 spaces on it and we have just finished chart 2 - only taken us 4(?) years... And getting a sticker for a food does not mean that she then ever eats it again!

You are not a bad mummy. Ever. You are a loving, lovely mummy who wants to do the best for her little boy. But sometimes life can surprise us with our reactions.

Sending you lots of hugs - take as many as you want. xx

MeandO

Finally received £187 refund that was 'held' by PayPal. Money has been allocated within the budget in YNAB - some back I to the christmas/birthday fund and the rest to the 'spending money' category which covers all incidentals/clothes/takeaways/'fun' money for the month.

I'm already aware I need to create more specific categories for next month. I was trying to keep it simple, but think I've over-simplified it.
Also going to try and start a clothes fund for myself as am in dire need of some shoes/boots and new clothes. I only really shop in the cheaper online stores/supermarket clothing depts for myself so a little can go a long way! A lot of my tops seem to have developed holes in them, my 4 pairs of jeans (which were £10 NL ones almost twitters ago ) are almost through at the knees or thighs and the rest consists of a few L/S tops for work (£3 from gap outlet store ), three of four t-shirt tops and a few well-worn hoodies.
I seem to have several dresses and such which I never seem to go anywhere to wear though!
Will see if I can get £100 or so in there over the next dew months, hopefully lose a bit of weight and then replace some of the tiredest togs.

Currently soaking in this Epsom salt bath with a skinny hot chocolate. Can't feel the benefits yet... Except my ankles are stinging slightly...!

X

MeandO

Thank you apple. So much.
It's so hard having a little one with food issues isn't it. Ds will not even touch sweets, which is a good thing I suppose, but I kind of wish he would, even just to try something new!!!
I fear for his future. I hope he grows to eat normally, but it worries me so much right now. The ex is constantly talking of a reward chart for our son, but we tried it before and he simply would say 'no I don't want a sticker/treat/reward thank you.'
To be honest, I don't think I have the energy for the constant battle and bargaining atm either. I guess I'll just have to continue to sneak a basic range of blitzed veg in the lasagne I make that he'll eat and be thankful he'll even eat that.

Thanks so much for your support lovely, the huggles are very much valued.
X

apple_muncher wrote: »

Well done on the 150 going on the debt repayment:T.

I totally get you with ds and his eating. I learned very early on that to offer dd something several times would only make her more definite on refusing it. Dh used to keep offering her things after she had said 'no thank you' and I had to repeatedly take him to task over it.

She will also sit around a table and let everyone else eat, not touching a thing herself. Not even sweetsunless theyhave been checked by me, and if they have no ingredients listed on them, she'll give them to daddy.

We have a sticker chart for her'yummy new foods'on which she crossed out the 'yummy'! And there are 24 spaces on it and we have just finished chart 2 - only taken us 4(?) years... And getting a sticker for a food does not mean that she then ever eats it again!

You are not a bad mummy. Ever. You are a loving, lovely mummy who wants to do the best for her little boy. But sometimes life can surprise us with our reactions.

Sending you lots of hugs - take as many as you want. xx

apple_muncher

And the school dinners thing -yes, they are free, but they are NOT compulsory. And the school will put empty/half-empty wrappers back in the lunch box so you can see what has (not) been eaten. A packed lunch doesn't end up costing too much, and can give much peace of mind.

Also, our caterers send a menu plan home for about 3 months at a time and your child can see it and,like our neighbour (who, by the way, eats everything in sight - such a contrast to dd) picks and chooses when she wants sch dinner and has a packed lunch the other days. My dd will still eat like a sparrow, but at least I know that every foodstuff in her lumchbox has the potential to be consumed...

Hope this makes sense!

There are battles to fight and battles to choose not to fight. In the apple household, food is not a battle worth fighting!

Are your ankles still tingling???

MeandO

Yes, we're going to see how he gets on with school dinners as I'd prefer him to have them, but if not, then we'll revert back to packed lunches. Only problem with that is that the lunchbox 'police' will step in at school to determine what they can and can't have in them, not that I feed him with complete junk, but as he won't touch fruit with a barge pole, it's not always easy to make them 100% healthy!

We're in wales, so not sure if that differs from England but we pay for school dinners here (and apparently I earn too much to qualify for free school meals for him).it's only £2.20 a day mind which I'm happy to pay as long as he eats something!

I have a feeling we'll be back to the packed lunches before long tbh.

They've sent us a menu already and 50% of the days he'll probable eat 'something' from there, but not a lot. Hopefully though he'll prove us wrong and eat 80% of everything when surrounded by his peers -as he did at nursery!!!

The stress tonight has taken a strange outlet...

I've kondo'd my drawers. :eek:

I know...I'm even more shocked than you lot!

apple_muncher

Lucky drawers! Hope you still have some clothes left...

Re the sticker chart- it's not by bargaining and coercing that we fill it. I'll offer something and dd either tries a smidgen or doesn't. The only time she has WANTED to want new foods is when there were 2 left to fill it and then she could play with the Syl Fam house set we'd bought. And the very last sticker was for Lilty's fat bombs!!

If the ex wants a sticker chart then he can do one at his house. You don't have to!

MeandO

Lilty's fat bombs must be goooooood!

The ex and I try and be consistent with Ds, so if he did insist on doing it then I would do it alongside him for O's sake. The problem is, ex is inconsistent with these things and, although has the best intentions, gets lazy or gets pushy with it pushes O the opposite way. It was the same with the potty training chart - he drove me absolutely nuts with it and Ds became terrified of the chart!

I think I'll start by cooking some different meals with O in the school holidays and if he tries it, he tries it, if he doesn't then I'll just have to keep going with it.

I'm debating taking him back to the doctor as I know his silent reflux is still there and seems to be quite bad at times lately, although it doesn't seem to bother him too much. He grew out of needing medication when he was around 2, but he definitely still suffers with it despite what all the medical professionals say.

Thankfully I do have some clothes left, but not many! I've kept some bits that are a bit too tight/small for me presently but kondo'd them into a different set of drawers so I'm not constantly looking at them. I'll try them again in a month or two if I can lose a bit more weight.
I do have a huge pile of clothes that need to be sorted for charity/bin/ebay though. Next on the list is the wardrobe and the bedlinen drawers under my bed.
Kondo'ing has freed up so much space! I have 3 drawers now empty, so am going to put some of the bedlinen in these when I've sorted it so I can store the winter duvets in the drawers under my bed instead. I'm liking this....

Oh, a 4lb loss to report this week too. It was 5lb earlier in the week, but the takeaway probably saw that extra 1lb off - but am happy with that. Would like to lose 3lb in the next two weeks.