The single track road - life on a different path

MeandO

I've spent the past hour working out my salary from September as it's been niggling me since the massive drop in tax credits and, thanks to the change, it doesn't look like I'm going to be able to afford to go part time. :(:(

I was dropping 10 hours a week, so that I can pick my son up from school when he starts full time and not have to put him into after school club and pay childcare. BUT, I've worked out I won't be eligible for tax credits if I continue my self employed small business too which pays well for a few months of the year. If I don't continue the business, I will still only get £90 a month in tax credits as the childcare costs will drop from September anyway.

All in all, I'd be nearly £250 a month better off if I stayed full time at the moment. £460 a month better off once the debt has been paid off, only having £11 a month left if I go part time at the moment, £22 left if I go part time once the debt is repaid. That £11 would have to cover entertainment, days out, any shopping other than groceries, gifts or diesel. That's also with a strict £150 groceries budget and £175 diesel.

It's not do-able is it.

Unless I can somehow pay off just under £10K of debt in the next 2 months which would leave me £210 a month better off.

Also not do-able.

Would someone be able to offer some advice or their thoughts?

I am absolutely gutted, but thought maybe I could delay me going part time until I've paid the debt off - have just spoken to my manager about this - and he said it's not a problem, but am I daft to do part time at all when it means I could potentially be £250 a month worse off? That would pay my mortgage over 11 years earlier, to 15 years instead of almost 27 years, but at what price? My son has been in full-time childcare since he was tiny and I hate having to send him to after school club.


I just want to cry.

MeandO

Cancelled an order for an item that was going to be an extra birthday present for someone, but taking everything into consideration now, I have plenty for them, so have paid the £26.35 off the loan instead.

apple_muncher

MeandO wrote: »

I was dropping 10 hours a week, so that I can pick my son up from school when he starts full time and not have to put him into after school club and pay childcare. BUT, I've worked out I won't be eligible for tax credits if I continue my self employed small business too which pays well for a few months of the year. If I don't continue the business, I will still only get £90 a month in tax credits as the childcare costs will drop from September anyway.

.

Could you drop fewer hours? Maybe just 4 or 6 so that you can collect him sometimes?

Could your business make up the difference?

On another note, I wish I had the room for a cross trainer!

Levi-

I'm not sure what to suggest on that working part time stuff Me&O -it's very much one of the battles of single parenthood, trying to keep the finances in check but not at the sacrifice of precious time with your child. I am in the same boat as you know but managed to manoeuvre around it somewhat by adjusting my start and finish times to better suit the school hours (he still has to to breakfast club and a small bit of after school club tho)and by working from home on a Wednesday. I have lost about £5,000 per year as I've had to chop some hours but it wasn't nearly as bad as it would have been moving to part time entirely and tax credits helps as you know. I feel lousy too as LL had to join f/t school "early" so I could get back to work which I feel is far more than his stamina is up to, even now. Oh how I wish we could be at home watching cartoons more of the time rather than driving around town and waking up at 5:30am and shoving him with loads of strangers for most of the day. It makes you feel horrible but you and I are also doing everything we can do keep a roof over their heads and I'm sure we are providing a good example to them somewhere too

Looking into the Request for Flexible Working and perhaps submit via that channel a request to alter your start and finish time - child care considerations are one of the major factors of this application and your employer has to show very solid reasons if/why it cannot be accommodated... and again possibly approach about any work you could do from home (I know before you said this could be difficult but you never know) .. it might be worth having a sit down meeting with your manager to express you dilemma and see what possibly could be done to help accommodate your other needs. This is an area that employers have to be sensitive and give due consideration to all requests so don't be afraid to lay your cards out on the table with them.
Remember O won't be this young forever and when he is older you will have time to increase your hours again so weigh it all up short term and long term in what is best for you and your son and I'm sure a solution will be found. Don't stress it.

On another note, of course we will be nice about the cross trainer. As far as gyms are concerned (I more or less despise them) I would say the cross trainer is by far the least of all evils... it will be handy to have it there when you feel like doing it rather than having to traipse to a gym etc not to mention the gym cost you are now saving. It will be all good ... enjoy xx

System

Hey lovely lady

The cross trainer sounds like it will benefit you tremendously. Exercise is so important, my HV yesterday was telling me just how much of an impact it has on our mind, so in my opinion you did right buying it. Certainly better than paying £33 a month for the gym!!

Well done for doing the big clear out!! I bet you feel so much better for it My garage is empty but my house is full of rubbish, despite me steadily de-cluttering it for the last 6 months :rotfl:

As for you going part-time, I have some suggestions (they are probably all rubbish though! ):

- Is there any chance that you could get a pay rise?
- Have you & Him discussed living together? I know things have been a tad rocky recently, but I didn't know if it was something you were both considering. It would obviously mean he could contribute to the bills
- Could your ex pick up O sometimes and then you do the other days? Therefore not dropping so many hours?
- It sounds like your business is quite seasonal. Is there anything you can sell during the quieter periods to make up the sales?

Well done on the loan overpayments :T Woop!! Big loves xxx

laurasavon

I agree with what others are saying, I work three 9 hour days and an 8 hour day so I can have Friday's off with my little one. Could you reduce a couple of hours on the days your little one is with you and work longer days when he's with his dad?

Would you get more tax credits if you earnt less, I.e. We're working less hours? Sorry I don't claim them so I'm not sure how they work

Have you included all expenses in your self employed business to make sure your profit is correct?

Good luck with whatever you decide, I'm sure your little one will appreciate it when he is old enough to understand what his Mommy had to juggle. I'm quite glad my OH isn't working at the minute as it partly eases the guilt as he's with Daddy, but still miss seeing my little one on my long days at work and feel like it should be Mommy at home not Daddy.

chevalier

Just read through your diary, and didn't want to read and run. Can I say that I think you have been through this separation with a large amount of grace under fire so to speak. You have put your child first, which so often doesn't happen.

I can't help you with your dilemma but just wanted to add my support cheering you on from the sidelines
chev

liltdiddylilt

Hello lovely you.

Just catching up with your diary. See I told you they would be lovely about the cross trainer. Not frivolous at all. I am always so much better mentally when I have done some exercise but it is horrendous trying to motivate yourself to do things when stuck inside four walls, so that cross trainer and the money you pay for it each month will push you on!

I have had the work/life dilemma for so long. Tax credits are a big reason that Him and I haven't even attempted to move back in. Financially it would ruin me - the little he earns does not cover the huge decrease in them to say the least. I would be staring down the barrel of a serious deficit in income/outgoings and I just can't handle it. Not to mention the additional costs of food etc as I only feed him for 7 meals out of 21 currently! And only 2 of those are evening meals. The rest is snack, cereal/pasta n sauce/super noodles/chicken soup type stuff.

I've got no answer. I've stuck it out thus far but if I move, he will be moving back in and at that point I have to seriously consider going back to full time hours again. Much as I detest the idea, I can't do anything else.

Big hugs, hope work isn't too bad this week, your sleep has improved and you're doing ok overall. And no cast iron pans on small heads this week? useful thought for the stepchild from hell though... :rotfl: xxx

MeandO

Hello all

Excuse the AWOLness, not felt much like posting lately and needed to concentrate on 'real life' for a bit.

Chev, thank you so much for your lovely comment, it really did mean a lot to be honest and boosted my mood a bit when I was feeling quite low, so thank you.

Most of my days are still filled with the 'if onlys' but life is what it is now, I just have to get on with it and Ds seems to be coping with everything just fine. His major upset at the moment which he mentions daily is that he misses Nanny and Grandad. They were meant to be coming up this weekend or last, but unfortunately my darling Mum has had another stroke. I don't really know what to say, I'm just plodding on and keeping going at the moment.

Thank you for all your suggestions for the working hours dilemma. I'm afraid nothing has been decided about it yet, I've just accepted I'm stuck being full time for now at least until the debt is paid off. Ds will continue going to after school club from September (thankfully I hadn't yet cancelled his place). Childcare costs will drop as he'll be full time, but tax credits will also disappear too.

Cross trainer arrived and is set up, planning the first session tonight as long as the weather's not too humid as it's boiling in the garage with no air flow and I might just melt!

Moneywise - Him has paid me back all of the money he owes me, so most of my pots are now replenished, except my 'gifts' pot which has just taken a hammering with a few birthdays coming up this month.
I've also bought the last of the materials I need to complete the garden project, so can get on with that as time and weather permits. I'm really hoping to get it finished for Ds within the next couple of weeks.
I've had a few more orders in too, so need to make those tonight or tomorrow. Also had a problem with someone trying to rip my designs off and sell them back to me wholesale - yes really! It happens all the time unfortunately, and is a constant problem but really gets me down every time. It totally makes me feel like 'what's the point'.

I've had a couple of days off work. Monday was great as the OH was around for an extra day after a difficult weekend.

Yesterday was a constant, well, inner battle, to be honest. I kept myself really busy and got loads done - I stripped the beds and washed and dried all the laundry on the line; put the cross trainer together; picked up the last landscaping stuff I needed and laid it all down; sorted the airing cupboard out and put all DS's new (to us) clothes away and went to a lovely assembly at Ds's school. But I was on a constant up and down battle. My mood was varying wildly between being ecstatic to feeling myself literally crashing down. Glad to say I felt like I won the battle though and 'got through' the day, but the wild and rapid mood changes did scare me a little to be honest.

I'm making a real effort to eat better and lose some weight too. I'm afraid my head's not in the right place for the keto diet presently as recommended by the doctor, but I've planned all of my meals and eating healthily these past two days and feel somewhat back in control and focused. I've managed not to eat any rubbish in the evenings which is usually my downfall and sends me into a downward 'catch 22' spiral.

It's really grey here now, think we're in for a heavy downpour soon. Hopefully it will clear this humidity a little.

xx

apple_muncher

Sending you some huggles xx

I can understand your AWOLness, but your post is a truly uplifting one. You are an amazing lady !