The single track road - life on a different path

liltdiddylilt

Sorry sorry sorry...

Ok.... riddle me this. I am trying my best to timeline my earnings and hours and what they took as information when:

I started my claim in May 2012, and the 2011-2012 earnings prior to that were DRAMATICALLY more than I was going to earn for the 2012-2013 year because I was on maternity leave for 9 out of 12 months of that financial year. I also went down to part time work when I went back, at 24 hours per week. I explained ALL of this, in minutest detail, i.e 6th April 2012 to 8th April 2012 on full time wages, 9th for 39 weeks at stat maternity pay including 6 weeks of 90% pay, then 3 months at my new part time wages. I worked it out to the last penny then they went away and did the jiggery pokery.

BECAUSE my 2012-2013 was going to be more that £3000 lower for the year than the previous year, they based my tax credits on the lower earnings instead of the previous year.

In usual circumstances, your tax credits are based on the previous years salary/tax paid.

So effectively, even though I went back to work and earned WAY MORE for 2013-2014, the tax credits in that period were ALSO based on my maternity pay. That gave me two years at a higher rate of TC's because of the changes in my salary. Then this year, 2014-2015 it was finally based on my earnings for the 2013-2014 tax year, and dropped a bit but not as much as I thought because I had to add childcare to the list etc.

The reason they are asking you to define precisely the number of hours you are working is because they have three sections

16-23 hours, 24-29 hours, and 30+ hours. Each one is calculated differently in terms of what you earn

Ok?

MeandO

Err, will you believe me if I say 'yes'?

(I'm lying).

In my defence it's late, I've had no dinner and I'm tired...

liltdiddylilt

What I am trying to say is.... even though my earnings were far more the following year, they kept basing my tax credits on the previous years earnings which was to my extreme advantage

Also, get pregnant in July, it is perfect timing for neat and tidy tax credits... :rotfl:

liltdiddylilt

And eat properly *roooarrrrrr*

MeandO

Oops to getting annoyed at the car alarm going off outside for 20 minutes before realising it was mine.

SORRY neighbours! In my defence (again) I never even knew I had one.
An alarm, not a car.


Nothing quite as miserable as coming home alone to an empty house on a Friday night. *Sigh*. Got my cuppa and now sat in bed, feeling pretty fed up to be honest.

Not feeling the love tonight. Saw Him for an hour or two, but made my excuses and left as soon as I could. I don't see much of a future with Him atm for various reasons (lengthy story I can't be &rsed to go into - ask Lilty, she's lovingly counselled me through lol), but my head is telling me its not going to work.
How to broach that subject though... I'm too soft to hurt or upset people.

I also stumbled across some of O's baby mementos today and boy, did it make the wounds bleed again. Just looking at it all brought so many memories back, of dreams and promises and hopes for the future as a family. All of which are now gone or severely distorted. I can't bring myself to look at it again for a while. I'm also avoiding the two big boxes in the top of the wardrobe which are full of wedding photos, cards and mementoes. I don't know what to do with them. I've had to shove our wedding rings, both back in their boxes, away in a place where I won't keep finding them. Seeing those causes the most hurt and reduces me to a sobbing wreck in seconds.

It's daft, because I initiated this split, I was unhappy in my marriage, but it still wasn't meant to be like this. This wasn't the grand plan.

God, I hope this gets easier soon. It's been nearly two years and still it's raw, I'm still crying nearly every day.

MeandO

liltdiddylilt wrote: »

And eat properly *roooarrrrrr*

Can't be bothered... no point cooking for one....
I should be a size 8 really, I just hide it well.

xx

liltdiddylilt

I'm a size 8 too, but I get cold so I have added padding. and what you on about. I cooked like 20 portions of homemade pasta sauce tonight for one and now my freezer is full and I need more pasta.. and ice cream.

The only thing you need to do my love, is find you. You're lost in everything that has been going on. No, it hasn't been two years. It has barely been two weeks since he was finally gone. You can kid yourself and pretend it is all ok and the right thing, right up until the point that he went out of the door and to his own house and took O with him and left you alone to face that reality. You aren't going to be ok right now, and that really is 100% perfectly actually normal. I would be more worried about you if you were sailing along swimmingly, blas! and fine with it all.. So hurt as it might, confuse you as it might... all of this is fine. It will get better; it will take some time. I initiated a split with my ex over 6 years ago and I still have the odd flash of a what-if and a pang for what might have been had I stuck it out. But in reality it was the worst and most boring relationship ever and he was so wrong for me.. I think it is natural when we aren't exactly happy with what we have now to wish we could have done things differently in the past. And it is ok to be sad, and to get upset and to not want to see wedding rings, or pictures... You will come to a point one day where you are happy with where you are and it will all just be good memories, tinged with a bit of sadness but overall just a good reminder of how you came to gain O and a really great friend.

You need to think of yourself as a castle hun. All the foundations and the stonework is there, but you've had some pretty tough cannonballs thrown at you recently and there are a few holes to patch up. So start picking things up, one piece at a time and rebuild yourself. One day you are going to be a big solid wall again... it only knocked a few bricks out... you feel bulldozed, but you're still standing ok. Focus.. one brick at a time. Only one. That is all you can do.

xxx

plymouthscubagirl

Am I the only one that likes ironing then . I have one of those steam things and I love it!

Yes I had a big garage sort out and came across my little ones coming home from hospital clothes and other bits. I too find it hard to give up on this family notion. I miss the hustle and bustle of being a family although little one keeps me pretty busy!!

Re family tax, try and record all conversations/emails. They're notorious for messing up and horrendous for getting hold of. My sister just had horrid period with them involving court etc, like already mentioned they will only ever take the overpayments out of your monthly allowance so wouldn't worry too much. I think I would most probably qualify for some help but my sisters experience has put me off, I'll stick to being skint (and in debt) :mad: one day my monthly pay packet will be my own!

Well done on the healthy eating choices, can you throw some willpower this way please. I'm off on hols in less than 2wks so left it a little late to lose a stone :rotfl:

Hope you manage to get out and enjoy your weekend with your little bubba bubs xx

MeandO

Lilty - your post really hit home and your castle analagy was just perfect. Thank you so much for your continuing support, you always seem to have the right things to say.

Scuba - Yes. Ironing is not to be loved. You're crazy. :rotfl:Is your Bubba Bubs your friend again now?? I had a good weekend with mine, only one or two meltdowns which related to him being super-tired.

I'm still going good guns with the diet, despite having (a very small portion of) chinese last night and some other treats yesterday. All has been 'pointed' and accounted for and within allowance. I can feel I've lost weight, my love handles are not so 'handle-y' and, in fact, someone else has commented on it too without knowing I was on a diet, so that boosted my mood a bit.:T I'm finding the app really helpful.

I've been deliberating over the flippin' sofas this weekend. I moved the furniture around again Friday night (Lilty - best form of therapy don't you think!:D)... then moved it all back again. lol. Masking tape and measuring tapes were in full force in my lounge this weekend.

As I said last week, I had ordered some new furniture and was going to take advantage of the 0% dfs deal, but the cost has been bugging me all weekend. It's A LOT of money, and although payments were affordable and I LOVE them, I've come to the conclusion it's just too much. I'd resigned myself to keeping the old ones after the buyer changed their mind yesterday:mad: - I had a feeling they would - but, put simply, they bug me and are not comfy. Then, someone else emailed me asking to come and view them, so she is coming tonight.

So, instead, I have decided to buy an ex-display set from ebay, which is £800 less than I was going to spend on the new ones and sell the pieces I don't want. (As it comes in quite a large set with chairs etc). This should cover some of the cost and my last BT transfer (which is cleared) is 0% on purchases for 15 months, so I shall set up a DD to clear it within that time.

Sorted.
Decision made.
eventually.

apple_muncher

Sorted.
Well done.
Good decision as it gives you peace of mind.

(is it stripey...?)