The single track road - life on a different path

plymouthscubagirl

And yes i hear you on the diet/fitness front too. I have a way of letting my current weight dictate my moods etc. I spent the whole of last year with no exercise due to 2 hernaited discs and it was a little better for a while but has flared up again after I tried running last week, so back to pigging out and no exercise. I need to give myself a kick up the bum really as this is one area that I need to control/manage properly otherwise I will just feel pants.....like i do at the mo! Trying to be kind to myself but really really cross that I just cant get on and exercise like normal people!

Good luck on WW, I'm kind of loosely following SW but with lots of wine thrown in and the odd bar of chocolate! At least I have the meals weighed off, just the snacks to sort. Baby steps

I think a new house might just be the answer. Especially if you are saying that you still wouldnt be happy as a family in there - which could happen at any time?! Can you not think about renting yours out then renting elsewhere, a smaller cosy place maybe? My little one still goes on about his 'old' house now, which was this 3 bed flat with no garden etc. I think they will always have little quirks they hold onto........good memories will always replace these. I guess you are in the same position of having to worry about catchment areas? Thats basically why I'm renting my house, to get him into school, then I can start looking at whether I can afford something near the school after. I definitely wont stay in this house for too long although its a good stop gap. I also HATE moving :mad:

Oh my little one told me last night that he didnt love me, I wasnt his bubba bubs and then that he hated me:eek: (told him no to the Wii) Funny as I never take these things to heart, although I do stamp out the hate word! I lost it a little last night with him, mainly due to bad back, which makes me very irritable. Funny as he said to me, mummy i think you need a little more sleep tonight as your quite grumpy (repeating back word for word what i say to him - cheeky :rotfl:). Same as you, he is my world even when I'm not his bubba bubs

Chin up lady.....and get your bum to the gym xx

MeandO

New house will have to wait a looooong time I'm afraid Scuba. This one wouldn't sell despite being put up at a stupidly-cheap price and I don't think I can go through having the house on the market again for a while. The ex has purposely bought a new build just around the corner so we are both close to O, so I don't really want to move for years now, I just really need to make the house work for me and to feel like home - starting with the lounge.

As it is, I bought some cheap new sofas from the dfs site on fleabay when the ex was moving out. They didn't thrill me, but I decided they would 'do' and I could get them quickly. They came, they fitted and they bugged me from day 1. Too dark in colour, too big and I find them really uncomfortable and they're making my sciatica flare up - not *squishy* at all, although everybody else seems to like them.
Well, I advertised them at work and lo and behold, have sold them within a day for the same price as I paid for them, so no loss there. I will overpay the loan with that money (£500) and look at getting some more I actually like. I can put a bit towards them, but it may mean taking out one of those 0% gubbins for the rest. I'd rather not, but for me it's important to start *liking* this house and feeling comfortable in it. If in the meantime I can save some more money towards them, then that will be a plus.

I've also sold another item of furniture for £30 today, so that will act as another overpayment on the loan. £1030 would have been paid off that before the first payment actually comes out! :T

I've just ordered a grocery shop to be delivered at the weekend, with the cheapest slot I could find (£2, all the £1 ones had gone). Shop is coming in at around £37, which, considering there's lots of fresh fruit and healthy stuff in it, isn't so bad.

I bet you're his Bubba Bubs today Scuba - 4 year olds are as changeable as the weather!!! Love him, telling you you need more sleep! I hope you managed to stifle the giggles. :rotfl:

And yes, I promise by the end of the weekend, I will get my &rse down to the gym... you have permission to give me hell if I don't.

Oh - I recently tried to follow SW too, but find it too restrictive with eating out and shop-bought stuff tbh. I'd love to eat 'from scratch' all the time, but unfortunately I neither have the time or will to cook half the time!

xx

greyfox

If you're looking for sofas, have you tried http://www.oakridgedirect.co.uk or https://www.sofasofa.co.uk ? They're both part of the same group, based in South Wales (there's a showroom down there) but they also go "on the road" from time to time. (I know they have a big exhibition in a London hotel each year.)

We've had a couple of decent sofas from them (the only place I could find a small, firm one as I find large & squishy really uncomfortable - though they do those, too) & prices are good.

And, no. I don't work for them!

apple_muncher

You are one amaaaaazing lady, MeandO. Lots of hugs x

liltdiddylilt

£1030 to that loan before the first payment!! You're amazing! Lol at the sofas. I live by a rule that the sofa and the beds are the most lived in things. They HAVE to be the way I like them, the end. I got both of mine from dfs and did the nothing for one year then paid for 3 years each time! Suited me and the cost was the same if I paid it all then and there!

Huge love to you. I love SW but again what working woman with a child has the option to cook like that every day?!!? I am with you. Sometimes I need easy. Sometimes I need fishfingers. And sometimes I want a blooming chinese!!

xxx

Fizzy11

I have no personal experience but I think you are doing brilliantly. You may be lonely at times but there is so much support on here for you & others going through the same thing.

I know so many people who in the 40's & 50's who are married & say the same things about loneliness. We all know that being lonely in a relationship is much worse especially as you get older because you start to feel your children slipping away as they grow up. If you like routine why not write everything down that you can do to keep busy. Obviously if that includes ironing I have no sympathy!!!! Then break it down into a routine over the nights & it doesn't matter if you don't do them but just looking at the list will give you direction. Make tea for the following night. Use one of your spare bedrooms as an exercise place where you feel you can empty your head.
Sorry I'm rambling but most importantly start being kind to yourself. Your parents would have worried about you if you'd been all chirpy because they would have thought is was just for them.

MeandO

greyfox wrote: »

If you're looking for sofas, have you tried http://www.oakridgedirect.co.uk or https://www.sofasofa.co.uk ? They're both part of the same group, based in South Wales (there's a showroom down there) but they also go "on the road" from time to time. (I know they have a big exhibition in a London hotel each year.)

We've had a couple of decent sofas from them (the only place I could find a small, firm one as I find large & squishy really uncomfortable - though they do those, too) & prices are good.

And, no. I don't work for them!

Ooh, thank you greyfox, I shall check the website out now.

xx

MeandO

liltdiddylilt wrote: »

£1030 to that loan before the first payment!! You're amazing! Lol at the sofas. I live by a rule that the sofa and the beds are the most lived in things. They HAVE to be the way I like them, the end. I got both of mine from dfs and did the nothing for one year then paid for 3 years each time! Suited me and the cost was the same if I paid it all then and there!

Huge love to you. I love SW but again what working woman with a child has the option to cook like that every day?!!? I am with you. Sometimes I need easy. Sometimes I need fishfingers. And sometimes I want a blooming chinese!!

xxx

Yep, I'm totally with you on the bed and sofa front Lilty. I knew I wouldn't like the last ones, but I was trying to be budget-wise and go for the easy option. Fail!

There's a few I like in DFS - I know they get slated, but I've bought a couple of sofas sets from there and never had any problems with them. I have tried a couple out in the nearest shop and have found two of them I like the 'squish' of... both of which are for sale in their ebay shop too, but I just need to figure out if the sizes they're selling there (ex display) will fit in my lounge nicely.

The £30 I will be making on the furniture today that I'd earmarked for a loan overpayment is now reduced to a tenner.:o We need another gro clock for Ds at his Dad's instead of keep moving and re-setting it every time, so I said I will buy it with that money. Ordered for £19.99 this morning.

I had to fill the car up from super-empty-running-on-fumes last night, which cost nearly £60. :eek: I was also super good with my diet, turning down the offer of free fast food last night and had something healthy when I got home. :A

I slept better too, although had not-very-nice dreams which woke me at 6am this morning, but that's six solid hours of sleep which is unheard of lately.

Happy Friday all

XX

MeandO

Fizzy11 wrote: »

I have no personal experience but I think you are doing brilliantly. You may be lonely at times but there is so much support on here for you & others going through the same thing.

I know so many people who in the 40's & 50's who are married & say the same things about loneliness. We all know that being lonely in a relationship is much worse especially as you get older because you start to feel your children slipping away as they grow up. If you like routine why not write everything down that you can do to keep busy. Obviously if that includes ironing I have no sympathy!!!! Then break it down into a routine over the nights & it doesn't matter if you don't do them but just looking at the list will give you direction. Make tea for the following night. Use one of your spare bedrooms as an exercise place where you feel you can empty your head.
Sorry I'm rambling but most importantly start being kind to yourself. Your parents would have worried about you if you'd been all chirpy because they would have thought is was just for them.

Ha ha Fizzy - I don't 'do' ironing. There's an ironing board in my garage, but it is used as a shelf. I have a printing heat press which I use for my business, I have been known to press something if I'm really desperate rather than get the iron out, trouble is, it leaves a perfectly pressed A4 section on an otherwise wrinkly garment!

You're right about the loneliness in marriage, that was kind of how I was feeling when I was married and, I think if he's being honest, so was the ex. It is a horrible feeling.

Great idea about writing tasks down too, I shall try that tonight with a list of things I want to achieve around the house too to make it feel more like home.

Thank you :A

xx

MeandO

Right, so now I'm concerned about my tax credits once more.

They've paid me back pay, and awarded me for the two months I qualified for in 2014/2014 based on my earnings from 2013/2014 - Yes?

My earnings for 2014/2015 will have more than doubled as I went back to full time working, so from now (this tax year) I will be entitled to a LOT less (less than half of what I received for the past two months). So I shall be phoning them to sort that out as soon as I figure out how much I earnt from my business (I know, I know, I'm rubbish at the accounting side of it, mostly because I have SO many little paper receipts I have to add from posting stuff. ).
So that's the job for the weekend I guess. AND, I'm going to need to stash this month's payment away I guess to give back to them.

This is why I HATE tax credits!

It seems, from September when I go part time and stop paying childcare, I will be entitled to less than £50 per month...

This has made me seriously consider whether me slogging my guts out on the business and working every night for at least 3-4 months of the year is really worthwhile... maybe I should just give it up. Lots to think about.