The single track road - life on a different path

MeandO

Levi- wrote: »

Hey you,
you can always PM or email or anything if that helps but obviously not in a 'get my face smashed in by your b/f' kind of way.
pps: DALE CARNEGIE. nuff said.

Think the b/f may be part of the reason I'm feeling like I am tbh Levi. Without going into details, there were major trust issues early on and these rear their ugly head every now and then and cast doubts in my mind. He has two sides, one is amazing, the other one I want nothing to do with, and I don't know what to do for the best. Why can things not be easy?!

And I started reading the book - in fact, I've read the first page about 15 times... then I fall asleep 'cos I'm too tired!

liltdiddylilt wrote: »

Oh hello sweetie

I didn't see your post about the lamb-gate, but bless you for the thought. You are such a sweetheart.

remember we are here for you at the drop of a hat. Always.

And as for the 'why' you're feeling like this? Massive upheaval in your life. Splitting your little boy between two houses because it is what is best for HIM not for you or ex. Issues at work leaving you alone with far too much thinking time. Money worries.

It is completely normal. I would struggle to find a positive at the minute too hun. Hell at my worst there were entire weeks where the only positive thing in my day was Jelly. I felt like I was falling apart and going insane. I kept it together just enough for her, by leaning hard on my mum and some really good friends.

Just keep doing what you are doing. You're pretty darned awesome you know...

Lots of love xxx

You're the sweetheart Lilty, I really can't thank you (and everyone else) enough for constantly being there to cheer me on, especially as life is not easy for you too lately. I wish I could wave a magic wand for us all!


I shall stick around for a while and hopefully it will help me through, but apologies in advance if my posts are a bit miserable or scarce, I'm feeling a bit numb about everything at the moment.
xx

MeandO

So, start on a positive and all that... I received my £100 pre-paid card from the Sky referral yesterday.
Not so good - £50 of it went to Npower as my bill was more than my DD's covered. The other £50 has gone on a grocery shop for tomorrow, with a few extra treats in there I would not normally buy.

Terrible news: my beloved, worn-almost-daily, slouchy knee high boots have finally need to be thrown away. They were £100 :eek:, so I won't be replacing them anytime soon!

MeandO

plymouthscubagirl wrote: »

Echo above. I'd feel rubbish being away form my little one too - can you not skype him to make you feel better? Mind you when I did that when I went away for 3 days in January, he wasnt that bothered in even saying hello to me on the phone/skype! Theres me missing him loads and feeling guilty and he was having too much of a good time to even miss me

I always want to spend when I'm down too - just keep looking at those category balances in YNAB! Honestly take it from me, you do not want to overspend, especially on your c.card as it becomes a right mess! I did this over Xmas and got myself in a right pickle.

Hey you should try and look at the Kon Marie forum in OldStyle Board - I think it would be right up your street reading your last few pages and hearing you talk about decluttering. Sounds like you have some time on your hands evenings this week too so might just pass a night or 2. Some of it is a littl barmy, like thanking your handbag for a good days work :eek: but that along with YNAB and grocery challenge has really helped me to STOP spending, well over spending anyway.

Missing your drivel, so please come back x

Oh he is having way too much fun to miss Mummy, Scuba!
Unfortunately my folks don't have 'tinternet' so no chance of facetime/skype atm. It just feels really strange without him, like I'm missing a limb or something...

I've so been meaning to start the kondo thing too, but this week has not panned out as expected and I have an unexpected house guest atm, (long story) so not really had the time I thought I would. I should be on my own over the weekend so will start on the cupboards and properly catch up with YNAB then.

Lovely to hear from you again

xx

Levi-

:j stay and be miserable with us :j

seriously though. if you want me to beat him up with a rolling pin, i will xx

liltdiddylilt

hope you are having a nice evening Mrs. unexpected house guest sounds not so great? Same with questioning Him etc. Anyone would have trust issues after what you've been through, but are you ok?

MeandO

Thanks Levi and Lilty xx I'm doing ok... had a shaky couple of days but desperately trying to get my mojo back. Still not feeling like myself, but will continue to post to try and snap myself out of this.

Things with Him are ok. We've had a few chats and I've shed a few tears, think the stress of everything is manifesting itself in various ways with me atm to be honest. I just hope it'll pass soon.

The debt and budget has been stressing me out big time. As great is it is to have the debt a 0%, I just couldn't cope with debt spread across 3 or 4 different cards, with different log-ins, repayment dates and minimum payment amounts. It was making me so anxious. So, today I've tackled that and taken out a loan to cover the outstanding credit card debt. I know a lot of you may not think this to be a good idea, but for me it is the best way to manage it.
It was a low interest loan, but flexible too, so, like the last loan I had, I can overpay it very easily as it's linked to my online banking.
The credit cards will be closed down as soon as the payments have cleared, never to have a credit card again, that's for sure.

I am still struggling to get my head into the YNAB zone. I've updated my spends etc on there, but I tend to be thinking about my bank account more than what's left in my categories etc.
AND as I physically move money to different pots (e-savers) online, the 'total balance left' confuses me and I end up having to add all of my pots and bank accounts so it tallies. I wonder if making these off budget accounts would help me get my head around it, then just make transfers to and fro when needed?

Hope everyone's looking forward to Easter
xx

liltdiddylilt

Later on Mrs, I will upload a set of pictures of my budget and all of the accounts that I hold. I even have an off budget account called 'Rent Deposit' because it is a given that I will get that back eventually and I need to factor it in as available cash for a house move.

Give YNAB a few months and suddenly you will realise that you are not actually paying that much attention to whats in the current account. So you will be in the supermarket, taking cash out of an ATM and ignoring the £2424 in the account because you know you've actually only got £103.66 for shopping left... you see?

Don't writer it off now. I think people using it when they have debt deal with it in different ways to those using it once out of debt. And sometimes it takes longer to deal with because of the red and the confusion it creates around debt. YNAB is a tool to get you in the right mindset to get out of debt and sometimes I think it is an overly harsh reminder of the debt you have and can put pressure on. I know I keep glancing fearfully at all £33.29 owing on my MBNA which will be cleared automatically on the 5th..

And thinking of that and what you have said about your credit cards worrying you regardless of 0%... look, at the end of the day, you're clearing the debt in the best way for YOU. You know what is coming up; you know what income you can expect to have later on in the year. You know the way your finances work, and you feel better like this. So it comes with alow interest rate instead of 0%? Sometimes it is worth it for peace of mind.. Stop beating yourself up. You're doing the best you can under very strenuous circumstances.

A whole bunch of people could have jumped on Levi and told him he was paying the wrong thing off by concentrating on his OD over his CC. But that is what gives him the most peace of mind, so screw other peoples perception of what you are doing. Do what makes YOU feel in control.

Lots of love and hugs.. Look after yourself please xxx

liltdiddylilt

Soo... PM'ing you a link to my budget. I will happily screen grab any bit of it and explain if you need me to. Just let me know if there is anything you don't get

xx

Levi-

Just chipping in to say that is EXACTLY how I felt regarding having too many different accounts to keep on top of, log ins, dates, etc etc - so I totally and utterly understand your reasons for why you felt anxious about that, it was a major trigger for me and although I currently still have to manage 3 creditors (5 debts) - I can't wait to have everything under 1 umbrella again. Sorry to hear of your blues but sounds like you are trying to do all you can to minimise it and talking it over with you o/h was a good step too... hang in there and have a fab easter.. i am away for a few days but have the comp so will check in when time allows :easter_ba:icotbaske:EasterBun:easter_os:easter:

apple_muncher

Sending you some massive, supersized hugs xx