levi: la vida loca

System

Hope things feel a bit brighter soon for you my lovely xxx you've inspired me to move furniture & stuff out and clean behind it!! You should have your own cleaning show Big loves xxx

themarsbargirl

Hey Levi,

I understand the decision to go to work tomorrow, indeed I was going to ask if going to work would make you feel better (keeping you occupied) or worse (stress, and things not going right). You know in your heart what is best for you to do. But please please do still make that appointment to see your GP.

It's this week you start CBT isn't it? CBT is great for helping with those cyclical thoughts of not being good enough.

Muchos Love,

Ruth
xxx

elsien

I realise not all organisations are the same, and some are better than others. But just to give the other side of the picture:
In my last job as manager I had several people off long term sick at various times, some with physical issues and some with mental health difficulties.
In all cases they were seen by occupational health and all gave permission for their GP to be contacted. All were helped back to work by various means such as phased return, changes in shift patterns etc. No one lost their job, although one person was off sick for 12 months.
It seems to me from your previous posts that your employer does make allowances for people - you've already said about flexibility for LL. So if it's better for you to be at work then fine, but don't jump to the conclusion that sickness will mean the sack. Employers want to keep the good 'uns.

themarsbargirl

elsien wrote: »

I realise not all organisations are the same, and some are better than others. But just to give the other side of the picture:
In my last job as manager I had several people off long term sick at various times, some with physical issues and some with mental health difficulties.
In all cases they were seen by occupational health and all gave permission for their GP to be contacted. All were helped back to work by various means such as phased return, changes in shift patterns etc. No one lost their job, although one person was off sick for 12 months.
It seems to me from your previous posts that your employer does make allowances for people - you've already said about flexibility for LL. So if it's better for you to be at work then fine, but don't jump to the conclusion that sickness will mean the sack. Employers want to keep the good 'uns.

Sounds like your organization is one of the really good ones!

please-let-me-be-lucky

When I was a manager it was more about the number of periods of sickness rather than length of absence, so someone who was off 3 single days on 3 separate occasions had a worse sickness score than someone who was off 3 months as one continuous absence if that makes sense. Also, as has already been mentioned, some illnesses are covered by the DDA so you need to be a off a l-o-n-g time before you need to worry about your job.

What I'm trying to say (badly!) is that you should only go back to work if you genuinely feel it will help you, as if you go back and need to be off again it would count as two absences rather than one. On the flip side, it would also show willing, so it really is down to what you would prefer to do.

Hope that hasn't given you more to worry about. I know what it's like Xx

Westie983

I agree with above I was off for ten months after my hip replacement last may and I too felt that my job wasnt safe due to me having a grievance meeting to go to while off sick, nothing to do with the hip surgery but it all happened at once but my job was okay as I was worrying over nothing and my employer was willing to accommodate once I changed branches, due to conflict with management and now five months later happier but I understand the issue you feel, I made it into such a bigger issue then it was.

But I think work may make things easier for you as i find keeping busy with "normal life' feels like you are part of it, rather then sitting at home thinking of what ifs and whats other people thinking of me...

MeandO

Hello lovely - I'm back :hello:

Hope you're feeling brighter today, and I really wouldn't worry about work, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about there, they obviously know what you've been through lately.

Will catch up properly later, but for now, sending oodles of hugs
xx

Levi-

hope everyone had an OK Monday.

mine's been alright. LL had a very nice surprise when he got up this morning - after 8 days of obsessional checking/staring at his sunflower (or as it was, a pot of soil) - we have now got one very viable stalk that appeared overnight and another one 90% of the way there. we planted about 10 seeds in total and they reckon you lose several, so even if we only end up with one, he will be chuffed. i put it outside in the bright sunshine outside our back door all day so you never know, maybe a bit more time and a couple more may appear. FGN also says she has a huge garden pot we can transfer it into when the time comes and hopefully between us we can maintain it in the communal garden.

GP tomorrow at 11:40am. CBT on weds at 3pm. had an email from my therapist today, she sounds nice - I had to submit 7 questionnaires before our session, some of them were just like data sharing permissions and stuff, and the other were scoring ones for illnesses - i've taken a few of them previously but my scores came back to me later via email too which I thought was good. my Generalised Anxiety Disorder score was 17 anything above 15 is severe, my depression score was 19 which makes me moderately severe (severe starts at 20) and my social anxiety score was 20, with anything above 19 being classed as severe. I had to also submit info about my medications, background, lifestyle, that kind of thing and any other supporting info. I told her I am in a rough patch at the moment due to a combination of factors. She wrote to me after the scoring to give me a emergency numbers if I feel like my risk level increases.

i don't feel as bad as i have been but i am taking a lot of care not to let things get out of control - eg making sure I have lots of rest, taking an hour out for prayer/meditation, exercise, fresh air, low stress - all things I couldn't do if I were presently at work. I will see what the GP says but it would be a bit silly to risk having a full relapse if I can just nip this one in the bud even if it takes a little longer. I'd rather take care.

Had some potentially bad news yesterday about my mum & her having tests for the bigC. really was some news that came at possibly the worst time. i went to bed and just cried for 2 hours non stop (LL was napping so wasn't aware don't worry). But today I have been applying logic to the situation and realise that the tests are just tests and until anything is confirmed there is no point jumping ahead and also, if it is a bad result, we will work from there. i am going up to go with her to a scan and the results even though it will be a 10 hour round trip twice in 2 weeks, i feel i just need to be there. FGN is going to help me with LL on both days, living up to her name :A And obviously it is petrol money I don't have but this is more important than anything. Struggling with no little pick-me ups at the moment - entirely out of the question to buy anything for me or Luca that isn't 100% essential but I feel bad always saying no to him, especially when we are out and they have all the summer toys out for kids and clothes and I feel like always having to say no. But we can make our own fun. We have Ozzy and we have the sunflower :T

i feel a little like like i'm bringing some folks down on here :- so if that is happening to you i apologise and please don't take any of this depressing nonsense from me forward to your 'real life'.

hummingbird

So sorry to hear that your mum has to have those tests - the way you've decided to deal with the situation is amazing and your mum will be helped so much by you being there to support her. When my mum was ill I found a strength within myself that I didn't know I had, and it's the same with you - you're already showing it in your plans to do those round trips. As you say these are just tests at the moment and taking things a step at a time is the best way forward - well done for thinking that way hun. We'll support you on here whatever the results.

I was wondering if you'd ended up going in to work today but really glad to hear you've stayed off.

How great that the sunflowers are starting to appear:T:T LL must have been thrilled after looking out for progress every day!:T:T

Westie983

Yay for sun flower growingness