levi: la vida loca

Bobarella

Levi - I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad. Really hope you can keep your spirits up till that appointment comes.

Westie983

Levi its another day in 17 mins - what will that bring?

it means today will be in the past and tomorrow is the future and you cant change the past only the future, like the saying, you learn from the mistakes and thoughts of the past and turn them into something you can control....

so lets start with one little thing you can do tomorrow to make you feel that little bit happier then you did today - lets start with walking and build up to running - every mountain has a summit but its not a race to to the top do things your own way with the obstacles life throws your way....

:-)

MessyBetty

Hi Levi and everyone else

Sorry it's been a while since I have posted I do try and keep up but life sometimes gets in the way, I just wanted to share something with you.

My DD has been living with a black dog for some years now and as I read your posts it brings back some of the things that she would say to me. She would say how she was desperately sad all the time but couldn't explain why, she would say that she was broken inside and that nothing could fix it as a parent you just want to be able to make everything alright but there was no magic wand this time.

Why am I sharing this with you, well she is now a wonderfully happy young lady she hasn't taken medication for 18 months or more, she did use CBT which helped tremendously and spoke with a councillor.

It has taken time and I know that her black dog will always be waiting in the wings but she has reclaimed her life. From someone who couldn't function on even a basic level to someone loving life.

Please believe that you will be happy again and that life is for living.

I wonder if your job although very rewarding, is causing you a lot of stress and anxiety. I know that you have enough on your plate at the moment but that might be something to look at in the future. Would relocating near to your family be a solution where you could get emotional and practical help? Are your family aware of how you are feeling right now? I'm sure that they would want to support you in any way they can, we all need help at times Levi it's not a sign of weakness.

Thinking of you and hoping the appointment goes well on Tuesday

MB xx

hummingbird

That's a wonderful post MessyBetty. xx

edwink

MessyBetty - That is a lovely honest post you have written.


Sorry I have not been about this last week or so Levi!!! Always supporting you though and cheering you on!!!


Take care and don't be too hard on yourself!!!


Maybe a little extra time off work would help you a little. Maybe have a word with your GP and see what he/she thinks.


Edwink x

apple_muncher

From what I recall, your work told you to stay off until you had seen your gp. THEY told you to stay off. You are not skiving or pulling a sickie. You are not playing the system. You are genuinely not well enough to work.

hugs xx

Levi-

Thank you every single one of you, and thank you for sharing your daughters story MessyBetty..it does provide a lot of hope. I've been with the black dog roughly since I was 14/15 and it has taken up too much precious time and robbed too many things from my life. Additional life pressures just seem to give it a reason to sneak back in and make me think everything is hopeless, pointless, and abuse myself into believing I am the root of every problem in the world and am a waste of space - then comes the physical, heavy side of the illness where you struggle to function at all. I've always been good at "doing what needs to be done" so always seem to get in gear for the essentials of looking after LL and O. and doing anything I have to do.... but any glimpse of nothingness or being alone or boredom.... and the black dog comes and fills it up. So I guess busyness is the answer. And I've decided to go back to work because the anxiety about losing my job is cancelling out any benefit from being off and trying to rest, if that makes sense.
I'll stop bleating on now and bid you a wonderful Sunday. Tomorrow is my half birthday so I might eat half a cake x

hummingbird

I thought I was the only one who celebrates my half birthday LOL:rotfl:

Hugs and hugs xxxx

Jazee

Damn, I missed my half birthday.

Levi - I'm sure you'll do what's right for you and yours. Take care x

MessyBetty

Aw Levi

My heart goes out to you, it really does. I know my DD would not of coped or made changes without my support as the feeling of total uselessness was overwhelming her every waking moment of everyday. Her anxiety and stress was causing her hair to fall out, she was unable to eat and physically unwell as her little body couldn't really take much more.

Please have faith in CBT as I believe this was a major factor in her recovery, it takes time and you have to invest in yourself which isn't always easy when you are so busy and distressed. Step by step, day by day you will feel better.

As others have said and I many times you are amazing, you will look back on this dark time and be proud of how you came through it.

I wouldn't worry about your job there is no way that you will be let go without a lengthy process, which as others have said should involve your employers looking to how they can help you through this difficult time.

I hope that you have a better day today and that LL and O bring you some pleasure, keep going Levi as you may not be someone to the world but you are the world to someone!

MB xx