Wife wants divorce, advice on my financial position

snakebyteuk

Hi All,

It's come as an extreme shock but my wife of 3 years has said she doesnt feel the same anymore and wants to split up. She told me this on a recent holiday I took her away on, not great but rather than wallow i have accepted it and want to move on.

She bought a house 2 months before we got married (with joint funds for the deposit) and it was in her name only due to previous credit issues at my end which i'm in the process of putting right but obviously these things take time.

In the last 2 years, I've spent over £30,000 in cash on renovations, i have receipts for everything that has come out of my bank account, one bill of £17,000 transferred for the driveway and patio and other garden upgrades alone, new bathroom at £5,000, upstairs bedrooms at £6,500 plastering, carpets, building work, etc - it's over £32,000 in total since May 2013 and i've gone without to pay for all this and really worked very long hours, on top of that I have paid absolutely every single bill, she's had her full wage free every month. I've paid mortgage, both car payments, all bills, all living expenses, everything. Im sure some will say im a fool but as the higher earner and loving my wife, i had no issues in covering everything and allowing her to have her wage free each month. I've taken her on 3 holidays a year, expensive gifts, when I sit and think about it it's unreal, and i've probably been a very generous meal ticket but you live and learn.

Now, my question is this, the house is in her name, she says she wants to keep HER house, however she cannot raise the capital to pay me anything. The bank (her mortgage providers) have told her they wont release any money to her due to her low salary, the house is worth around £150,000 with £60,000 outstanding so roughly £90,000 in equity, yet they wont lend her anything.

I've told her, in the scenario that she cannot raise any capital to pay me off to allow me to go and start my life again, bearing in mind i've spent £30,000 in renovations and a further £30,000 in mortgage and car payments in the last 2 years alone, then i'll have to do it the legal way and hope a court will make her sell the house, she isn't interested in anything other than keeping the house and couldnt really care less whether i rot which is a bitter pill to swallow having this come out of the blue.

Any advice on what I would be entitled to (given the circumstances) and if anything, would be very helpful.

Many thanks

Tigsteroonie

First things first - any children? (yours, hers, together)

How long did you live together, if at all, before marriage?

Presumably the value of the house has increased since purchase given all the expenditure - by how much, would you estimate?

Can you evidence the joint funds for the deposit, that you have met all mortgage/bills etc, and the justification for the house being in her sole name?

The Wikivorce website & forum is very good, though you may need to consider a solicitor (because of the house ownership aspect).

PlutoinCapricorn

I know someone who was exploited in a similar way. Could you get a free half-hour or so with a specialist solicitor?

pmlindyloo

First of all, you have what is called Home Rights.

Read this:

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/relationships_e/relationships_relationship_problems_e/relationships_relationship_breakdown_and_housing/relationships_if_you_re_married_or_in_a_civil_partnership_-_relationship_breakdown_and_housing/relationships_if_you_re_married_or_in_a_civil_partnership_and_you_own_your_home_-_relationship_breakdown_and_housing/relationship_breakdown_and_housing___rights_to_stay_if_your_spouse_or_civil_partner_owns_the_home.htm

There are various options that you both need to consider.

You can use a third party (a Family mediator) to help you sort these (cost a few hundred pounds - google for more information)

or

You can use a solicitor and the financial aspects will be sorted out as part of your divorce proceedings.

Obviously the first option is much much cheaper.

snakebyteuk

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

First things first - any children? (yours, hers, together)

How long did you live together, if at all, before marriage?

Presumably the value of the house has increased since purchase given all the expenditure - by how much, would you estimate?

Can you evidence the joint funds for the deposit, that you have met all mortgage/bills etc, and the justification for the house being in her sole name?

The Wikivorce website & forum is very good, though you may need to consider a solicitor (because of the house ownership aspect).

Hi,

No children, neither of us, thankfully!

We lived together for 5 years (rented previously, then 3 years in current purchased house) which was a dump when bought at £100,000 - it's now worth around £150,000 with me having spent the £30,000 + on renovations.

Yes, i have evidence of every payment, i transferred £2,000 a month to her every month for the past 3 years (all documented) to cover each and every bill. (Most were in her name). I also have documented and statements proving i've paid everything in terms of renovations.

I did try wikivorce but unfortunately had little response.

Thanks for your help and response.

heartbreak_star

No real advice but just wanted to say good luck.

HBS x

Guest101

snakebyteuk wrote: »

Hi,

No children, neither of us, thankfully!

We lived together for 5 years (rented previously, then 3 years in current purchased house) which was a dump when bought at £100,000 - it's now worth around £150,000 with me having spent the £30,000 + on renovations.

Yes, i have evidence of every payment, i transferred £2,000 a month to her every month for the past 3 years (all documented) to cover each and every bill. (Most were in her name). I also have documented and statements proving i've paid everything in terms of renovations.

I did try wikivorce but unfortunately had little response.

Thanks for your help and response.

Why?! :eek::eek:

anyway whats done is done.

You have a financial interest in the house, you have made capital investments, including the original deposit. as there are no children (and this is an 8 year relationship) you are fully entitled to half, which would be £45,000 less fees. So approx £42k.

You can force the sale, but you'll need a solicitor, which will mean another £2-3k (unless she doesnt fight it)

If i was you, i'd move out asap. As the next claim will be Domestic Violence, in the hopes of getting legal aid.

(and stop making any payments that are in her name) - make it clear to her (evidenced) that you have made capital and ongoing payments in respect of the mutually held assets (the marital assets) give her a list of all the payments you have made, for everything (whether that a list of 10, or multiple pages).

Rent a flat and remove personal belonings. So not furniture, unless it was bought for your own exclusive use. (For example, if you had an office in the home, which was solely for your use, this could be removed) but you cannot remove the front room sofa for example.

C_Mababejive

I'm sure many a single lady would snap your hand off such is your generosity.

Its all very well to be wise after the event but as others have said, the important thing is you are married and that gives you rights. You might not get your money back right now but in the long term you should be ok.

Also keep calm,dont get involved in any arguments or argie bargy. Many a woman might procure a situation to have an unwanted man removed from the house under such circs.

Poppie68

Get yourself an appointment with a solicitor pronto, you need immediate advice on what path to take so you can properly secure your investment in the property..
Good luck

misspickle_2

Your a :coffee:

Thank heavens for receipts and bank statements eh?

Move out as fast as possible.

Solicitor contact only

Good luck.

VestanPance

Get yourself a solicitor asap.

Also paying her £2k a month and living in a place in her name only that only cost £100k! You've been paying all the bills and then some! :eek: